LOS ANGELES (AP) — Erik Menendez was denied parole by panel of California commissioners Thursday.
During his hearing he offered his most detailed account in years of how he was raised and why he made the choices he did — both at the time of his parents' killing and during his decades in prison.
He and his brother Lyle were sentenced to life in prison in 1996 for fatally shooting Jose and Kitty Menendez in their Beverly Hills mansion in 1989.
The state corrections department chose a single reporter to
watch the videoconference and share details with the rest of the press.
Here's a look at Erik's remarks:
“I was not raised with a moral foundation,” he said.
“I was raised to lie, to cheat, to steal, steal in the sense, an abstract way. When I was playing tennis my father would make sure that I cheated at certain times if he told me too. The idea that there is a right and wrong that I do not cross because it’s a moral bound was not instilled in me as a teenager.”
Menendez has said for years he was sexually abused by his father. He told commissioners: “I fantasized about my father not being alive.”
Prosecutors asked why Menendez chose to kill his father rather than leave the family home, as he was already 18. He said: “In my mind, leaving meant death. There was no consideration. I was totally convinced there was no place I could go.”
He also spoke about the fear of his father: “It's difficult to convey how terrifying my father was."
The panel of commissioners asked Menendez why he killed his mother as well, if his father was the abuser.
Menendez explained that he did not see any difference between his parents because he found out that his mother knew about the abuse: “It was the most devastating moment in my entire life. It changed everything for me. I had been protecting her by not telling her."
On shooting his mother: “I wish to God I did not do that.”
Commissioners focused on numerous rule violations Menendez committed in prison, including drinking alcohol, affiliating with a gang and having a cellphone.
On why he chose to use a cellphone: “What I got in terms of the phone and my connection with the outside world was far greater than the consequences of me getting caught with the phone.”
On substance abuse: “If I could numb my sadness with alcohol, I was going to do it … I would have taken other drugs to numb that pain … I was looking to ease that sadness within me.”
Menendez decided to become sober in 2013 and found faith, he said: “From 2013 on I was living for a different purpose. My purpose in life was to be a good person … I asked myself, ‘Who do I want to be when I die?’ I believe I’m going to face a different parole board when I die.”
