In a world where relationships are often measured in grand gestures, anniversary posts, and perfectly curated photographs, it is easy to forget what truly sustains a partnership. Love may begin with intensity,
attraction, and excitement, but what carries it forward is something far steadier.
As counselling psychologist and couples therapist Dr Devanshi Desai, Counselling Psychologist & Couples Therapist reflects, “A Shakespearean sonnet equated true love not with a fleeting season but an ‘ever-fixed mark.’ In simple words, a relationship works only if there is a constant, unchanging commitment to endure any and every challenge together.”
Her words remind us that love is less about momentary passion and more about reliability. A relationship that endures is not one untouched by difficulty, but one anchored in the decision to stay, repair, and grow.
“A truly committed relationship may evolve, but it does not let itself be eroded by changing circumstances,” Dr. Desai adds. In other words, growth is natural; erosion is optional. Partners will change over time, careers shift, families expand, priorities transform but commitment acts as the stabilising force that holds the bond intact.
Importantly, she reframes commitment not as a static promise but as effort in motion. “Commitment, in my book, however, is not just a passive noun but an active verb. It demands time, intentionality, patience, adaptability and yes, emotional balance.”
This emotional balance, she notes, is often where couples struggle. Dysregulated emotions can overwhelm partners, activate old triggers, and escalate minor disagreements into larger ruptures. “Dysregulated emotions can often overwhelm partners, throw them off balance and activate their triggers,” she explains.
Addressing conflict with empathy and stability does not come instinctively to everyone. But it can be learned. “Addressing conflict with empathy and emotional stability does not come easily to everyone, but it is a life skill that can be learnt.”
Relational therapy, according to Dr Desai, plays a powerful role in this process. It helps partners cultivate self-soothing techniques, practice healthy communication, and maintain their individual identities while supporting one another. In a culture that often equates love with merging, she emphasises the importance of preserving personal boundaries alongside togetherness.
She gently challenges the idea that romance alone sustains a relationship. “Roses and chocolates on special occasions are fine, but the real gift is to create a harbour of mutual safety and trust.”
That harbour is built through consistent, everyday behaviours: attending couples therapy when needed, initiating stress-alleviating activities, sharing wellness routines, actively listening, and addressing concerns with empathy, sensitivity, and respect.
“Persistent stress can wear anyone down but when couples face it together, its impact is minimised,” she observes. Shared resilience, rather than perfect harmony, is what deepens intimacy.
Therapy also encourages couples to focus on daily gestures rather than occasional displays. “Therapy also teaches couples the importance of daily acts of kindness, showing gratitude, and uninterrupted quality time over superficial gestures.”
In this light, celebrations like Valentine’s Day become symbolic rather than central. “Valentine’s Day is just one day in a shared journey rooted in calm, comforting, lasting companionship,” says Dr Desai.
Relationships, she reminds us, are not always polished or photogenic. “A relationship may not always be ‘Instagrammable’ or perfectly curated, but it is worth nurturing because lasting love ultimately is all about navigating imperfections rather than avoiding them.”
In the end, enduring love is less about spectacle and more about steadiness. It is about choosing, repeatedly and consciously, to stay anchored not because everything is perfect, but because both partners are willing to grow through what is imperfect.
