A woman from Oregon is getting attention online after she trusted her instincts and walked out of a first date the moment something felt off. Rachel Anderson shared her story on TikTok, where her video
has gone viral. She explained that before the date, the man asked her to dress casually, like she was at home. Taking him at his word, she arrived in sweatpants, sneakers and no makeup. What shocked her was the location.
The man had chosen a high end restaurant and was dressed in formal clothes, which made her feel out of place. The moment she realised this, she turned around and left without sitting down. Rachel said the situation felt planned and made her uncomfortable, as if the goal was to make her feel small or embarrassed.
Woman Walks Out of First Date
As per News.com.au, Rachel Anderson explained, “I just left a first date that I was really looking forward to and under 2 minutes, because I was told that it was a surprise to wear something comfortable. He said, ‘Act like it’s a lounge day at home.’ So I threw on some sweatpants and an NBC sweatshirt, some tennis shoes, my hair in a bun, no jewellery, no nothing. Why is this man walking me into a fine dining restaurant? I turned around and walked out.”
“As soon as you meet me, you want to level the playing field by humbling and/or embarrassing me by bringing me out to a place where you know that I am underdressed? Absolutely not. So I went to get myself some fast food and sat in the car. Old me would have tried to figure out why I messaged him, I would have ‘How could you embarrass me like that?’ Now, immediately blocked, you showed me who you are. You don’t have to show me twice. You will never have the opportunity to try to humble me again” the woman added.
Expert Explains The Red Flag
A psychology expert, Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D. explained in the Psychology Today article that warning signs in dating often appear in small ways at the very start. These can include trying to control the situation, not respecting boundaries or making someone feel awkward and then calling it a joke. Such behaviour is often used to see how much a person will tolerate. The expert also added that people who laugh at embarrassment or blame past partners instead of owning their actions usually avoid taking responsibility.
