Parenthood is often seen as a natural step after marriage in India, bringing joy along with its challenges. However, a recent Reddit post has sparked a widespread discussion by highlighting the steep financial
burden of raising a child in urban India. According to the post, the cost can easily exceed Rs 1 crore over 18 to 20 years, potentially undoing years of hard-earned financial progress.
A 31-year-old unmarried Reddit user, Mud5321, who is among the top 1 per cent of posters on the platform, called his decision to remain child-free “the best financial and mental decision anyone can take.”
The Reddit User’s Take
He wrote, “This might sound a bit controversial, but I said what I said. As an unmarried 31M, I think most couples don’t decide to have kids — they just end up having them. At most, they plan ‘when’ to have kids, but not ‘should’ we have kids. People think it is just the next ‘expected’ step after marriage, like getting into 8th class after finishing 7th class, there is no planning or thinking about it.”
He added, “The toll a child takes on you mentally, especially financially, is severely underestimated, and will set you back years of all the financial progress you made in your life.”
Why Having a Child Is Expensive – His Explanation
Breaking down the expenses, he said, “From decent education to medical, food, clothing, and other extracurricular expenses — raising a child comfortably in urban India easily runs into crores over 18-20 years. That’s assuming everything goes smoothly. Think of all the things you could do with that money if (there were) no kids!”
Beyond Finances: Lifestyle Changes
He said it’s not just about the money. He wondered why anyone would choose such a lifestyle, sharing that on weekends, he often sees parents in his society get up early, driving their children to various classes like dance, karate, or swimming instead of resting. He also mentioned how his married friends frequently discuss school admissions, joining dates, and complain about high fees, reflecting on how it is.
“Don’t even get me started on the multiple doctor visits, buying clothes, toys, the crying, screaming, etc. I wonder how many parents out there regret having kids even though they can’t share it with anyone,” he shared.
He questioned societal expectations of motherhood, saying, “I also think it’s regressive when people say becoming a mother is the greatest fulfilment for a woman. Mothers are put on a pedestal and expected to be all noble & self-sacrificing for the kids/family while expecting nothing in return.”
He concluded, saying, “My intention is not to look down on parenthood, but just a reminder for the singles/non-parent couples out there that parenthood isn’t compulsory. It’s okay to opt out and say, ‘That life is not for me.’”
Reddit Users Share Their Views
Many users agreed with his views. One user, NoMedicine3572, commented, “These days, more people are choosing not to have kids. Life’s getting expensive, work takes up most of the time, and there’s hardly any support system. Owning a home feels out of reach, and for many, the world just doesn’t seem like the kind of place they’d want to raise a child in.”
Another user, blackandlavender, wrote, “As a mother of two, I agree. Not because I regret having kids (it will be a long time before I can comment on that), but because it is indeed a thankless and relentless job, and I agree that not having kids is a perfectly valid and understandable choice. And indeed, most people have kids because they’re conformists (goes for me as well).”
This Reddit discussion sheds light on the significant financial and emotional toll of raising children in urban India. It invites couples and individuals to rethink societal norms and make mindful decisions about parenthood based on their own circumstances and desires. Thoughtful choices around parenting can help maintain financial stability and mental well-being over the long term.
