For a word that appears everywhere, from dating bios and Instagram captions to awkward first messages, ‘vibe’ is surprisingly poorly understood.
Ask someone what they’re looking for in a partner, and you’ll
often hear the same answer: “Good vibes.” Ask why a conversation fizzled out, and the explanation is equally vague: “The vibe was off.” In modern dating, ‘vibe’ has become both the most overused and least interrogated word in the romantic vocabulary.
Anirban Banerjee, CMO & co-founder of flutrr, says, “At first glance, it sounds evasive, an emotional shrug meant to avoid deeper explanation. But the rise of ‘vibe’ coincides with a measurable shift in dating behaviour.” According to a Forbes Health survey, 78% of dating app users report feeling exhausted by the endless swiping, indicating widespread burnout associated with appearance-first, high-frequency matching. The word ‘vibe’ has emerged precisely where older dating language no longer works.
From Chemistry and compatibility to something in between
For decades, dating was explained through chemistry (an instant spark) or compatibility (shared values, background, long-term goals). Today, especially among Gen Z, dating increasingly operates in the space between the two. Vibe captures how interaction feels in real time: whether humour lands, conversation flows and emotion aligns. It is not just about long-term promises but about short-term safety and comfort.
Why ‘Vibe’ Sounds Vague, but Isn’t
The frustration with vibe comes from its resistance to quantification. It doesn’t show up in prompts or filters. But that doesn’t make it arbitrary. A profile can look ideal on paper and still fall flat in conversation. Conversely, two people with little visible overlap may talk for hours. “What ‘vibe’ captures is the experiential quality of interaction, something traditional dating metrics routinely miss,” explains Anirban Banerjee.
This explains why Gen Z increasingly values cues like humour style, conversational rhythm, and shared cultural references. According to popular dating app trends, over 90% of Indian singles say modern expressions of love happen through micro-moments—sharing memes, playlists, inside jokes, or late-night voice notes—rather than grand gestures or polished bios. These cues reveal personality in motion, not in presentation.
Vibe as Emotional Safety
When 2 people are vibing, it is not just about attraction but safety too. For women and first-time digital daters in particular, tone and pacing matter as much as intent. India has seen a documented rise in dating and matrimonial app fraud, impersonation, and scams, prompting users to become more cautious. A “bad vibe” often signals mixed intentions, pressure to escalate quickly, or discomfort in conversation. A “good vibe” typically signifies respect, ease, and emotional stability.
Why ‘Vibe’ Gets a Bad Reputation
Critics might argue that vibe encourages ambiguity and enables ghosting. Indeed, “the vibe wasn’t there” has become a socially acceptable way to avoid difficult conversations. But relationship researchers suggest that the rise of ‘situationships’ – ambiguous, undefined connections – is less about commitment aversion and more about delayed emotional trust. Anirban Banerjee says, “People are taking longer to feel safe enough to define relationships. Vibe is the testing ground where that trust is explored. The issue is not the concept of vibe, but the lack of emotional vocabulary around it. Most people are never taught how to articulate boundaries, emotional pacing, or conversational comfort. Vibe fills that linguistic gap, imperfectly but usefully.”
Another common misunderstanding is that ‘catching a vibe’ signals a lack of seriousness. But, in reality, for many young daters, vibe is a prerequisite for intent. Before labels or long-term planning, people want to know if communication styles align, humour overlaps, and emotional expectations match. Vibe is where intent is tested—informally, but meaningfully.
At its core, ‘vibe’ is about coherence. In a dating culture overwhelmed by choice and speed, ‘vibe’ is a call to slow down and notice how interactions feel, not just how they look. To value presence over performance. So when someone says, “The vibe was off,” it may be worth listening more closely. Behind that vague phrase is often a precise intuition – one that modern dating is only beginning to take seriously.
