Nikki Glaser wasted no time getting comfortable on the Golden Globes stage — and by comfortable, she meant fearless. Returning as host, the comedian kicked off the night with a sharp, crowd-pleasing monologue
that touched some of Hollywood’s most talked-about nerves, earning big laughs and a few wide-eyed reactions along the way.
Glaser opened by poking fun at industry power players, drawing loud applause with her first jab of the night. “Let’s get down to business: We’ll start the bidding for Warner bros. At five dollars. Do I hear five dollars?” she said, setting the tone for a no-holds-barred opening.
One of the boldest moments in her set came when she referenced the Epstein files before pivoting to a swipe at CBS News, which has been in the headlines following recent editorial changes. “So many A-listers — and by A-listers, I mean people who are on ‘A list’ that has been heavily redacted. The Golden Globe for best editing goes to… the Justice Department! Yes, congratulations. And the award for most editing goes to CBS news. Yes. CBS news: America’s newest place to ‘See B.S. News.’” The joke drew a strong reaction from the audience.
Glaser also zeroed in on George Clooney, delivering a mock-serious question that Clooney gamely played along with from his seat. “I’ve always wanted to ask you something, and I know this is unprofessional, but I may never get the chance again, so here goes: My Nespressos keep coming out watery … Do you think it might be the filter? Could you troubleshoot?”
Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t escape either. Glaser acknowledged his celebrated career before landing a punchline that’s become a familiar part of awards-show lore. “What a career you have had. Countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director, you’ve won three Golden Globes and an Oscar. The most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish that all before your girlfriend turned 30.”
She immediately followed up by poking fun at herself for going there. “Leo, I’m sorry I made that joke. It is cheap. I tried not to, but, like, we don’t know anything else about you, man. There’s nothing else. Open up! I’m serious! I looked! I searched! The most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was for Teen Beat magazine in 1991. Is your favorite food still ‘Pasta, pasta and more pasta?’”
Turning her attention to Dwayne Johnson, Glaser joked about his nomination, saying, “The Rock is nominated tonight, and luckily for him, the TV show ‘The Paper’ is not, so he might win.” After the laugh landed, she added, “That’s a fun one.”
She then brought Kevin Hart into the mix, calling Hart and Johnson her “favorite comedy duo” before adding, “You guys are like Steve Martin and Martin Short for people under 50 IQ.”
The comedian also had fun with The White Lotus, remarking that Season 3 of the HBO series was “the first hit show to feature incest since ‘The Property Brothers’ Season All-of-Them.”
Glaser continued to fire off quick hits at other stars in the room, joking that Sean Penn looks like a “sexy leather handbag,” Timothée Chalamet “gained over 60 ounces” for his role in Marty Supreme, and that Jacob Elordi and Paul Mescal are the same person to her mother. She also teased Steve Martin and Martin Short, saying they keep proving that “in this industry you are never too old to still need money!”
This marks Glaser’s second consecutive year hosting the Golden Globes. She first took on the role in 2025 and was quickly asked back after her previous monologue struck a balance between edgy humor and crowd-friendly comedy.
Beyond awards season, Glaser has stayed busy. She hosted Saturday Night Live in November, is co-writing and starring in an upcoming romantic comedy produced by Judd Apatow, and has a new Hulu comedy special set to release in 2026.
