A therapist has sparked an uncomfortable but much-needed conversation online about parenting. The clip, posted by psychologist Rahi, draws from a real-life interaction that many Indians instantly recognised.
The term at the centre of this discussion is familiar to many households: “Raja Beta syndrome”. And judging by the Internet’s response, this struck a nerve.
Is ‘Raja Beta Syndrome’ Real? Psychologist Explains
In the video, the psychologist recounts a visit to a family’s home and how, within minutes, she understood why their adult son behaved the way he did. She describes sitting with the family while the son, “full adult, beard and all,” lied on the sofa, not greeting anyone, not helping and not moving while radiating what she calls a “premium bad attitude.”
She admits she must have made a face, the kind that “escapes your soul,” because the mother immediately responded by kissing her son’s head. He reacted with, “Aree yaar mummy, game khelne do (Oh come on, mom, let me play my game).” That moment, she says, “clicked.”
Calling out what many hesitate to name, she explains, “Raja Beta syndrome isn’t cute. It’s a fancy name for we never made lift a finger. We excused every protected from consequences. We taught him comfort, not accountability.”
No Accountability, No Responsibility
The psychologist goes on to address the long-term consequences of such upbringing, especially when these boys grow into adults.
“When a boy grows up being treated like someone who has no responsibility and owes no accountability. When someone else has to do the emotional and physical labour in adulthood, and someone usually ends up being his wife,” she adds.
“She becomes the one cooking, remembering, managing, fixing, regulating while he stands there saying “But I don’t know how to do all this yaar…you do it.” Not because he is incapable but because he was never expected to learn,” she further mentions.
In the end, she concludes by saying, “Raising a child with love is absolutely beautiful. But raising them without responsibility or accountability just hands the actual parenting to their partner.”
Anticipating backlash, the psychologist added a detailed caption to her post. She clarified that “The Raja Beta syndrome is not actually a psychological diagnosis, it’s just a term popularly used to explain men with certain traits and characteristics.”
She also explained, “The video is based on personal evaluation and understanding of Indian family systems and how some of them raise their sons. The incident discussed is one such anecdote, and I did not make the assessment actually in 5 min, rather it’s years of interaction with the family. So please don’t come at me.”
Watch The Clip Here
What Are People Saying Online
In the comments section, many shared their varied opinions and similar situations.
One user commented, “Aren’t all betas are raja betas only? Haven’t seen any other variant tbh. Very very rare.”
Another said, “My brother has been raised that way.”
Someone else remarked, “Let’s also talk about how when a mom is emotionally unfulfilled in their marriage, they transfer that onto their son & sometimes get jealous of their daughter in law later.”
“Agreed. Went through the Raja beta phase myself but I grew out of it like any adult man should do,” a person added.
Meanwhile, a user shared about a man who worked in a city but still carried suitcases of laundry home every fortnight for his mother to wash. According to the commenter, his parents later arranged his marriage to a woman who was younger than him. While the responsibilities of daily life continued to be handled by the women around him, the man complained about even basic medical expenses when his wife needed a gynaecologist.
