When we think of moms, the first thing that comes to mind is usually endless sacrifice: making sure the kids are happy, safe and never face setbacks. But Namita Thapar, entrepreneur and Shark Tank India
judge, is flipping that script completely. She is encouraging mothers to embrace a different approach: being “selfish” in the best sense and letting kids learn life the hard way.
Through a candid Instagram post, Thapar shared her resolution for this year in one word: “detach.” In her own words, she wants mothers to “let them fail, learn and grow.” According to her, children can only rise above their mistakes and truly grow when they face challenges themselves, not when parents are constantly fixing things for them.
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Namita Thapar Bursts Bollywood’s ‘Perfect Mom’ Myth
Namita further criticised Bollywood for glorifying what she calls the “Meena Kumari style mom”—a mother who sacrifices everything, suffers silently and is praised endlessly for being selfless. She wrote, “For too long Bollywood has glorified the Meena Kumari style mom… sacrifices, silence, selflessness, tears… ‘wah kya mahaan MA ho aap’ … crock of bulls***!!”
Why Being A ‘Selfish Mom’ Can Be A Good Thing
Thapar is unapologetic about flipping the narrative on motherhood. “Gurllls, wake up, you can make your kids happy only when you’re fulfilled & happy, so ‘selfish mom’ tag is a good thing,” she wrote. She explains that you can only teach your children to respect women if you respect yourself first. That means speaking up when you’re ridiculed or dismissed, even when it’s disguised as a joke.
‘Let University Of Life Take Over’
Thapar also gave a clear age marker: “Once they turn 10, completely detach & let the university of life take over, let them make their own decisions, let them learn through a few hard knocks.” Her aim is to raise humble, independent kids who understand gender equality rather than creating “ma ka ladla who becomes a pain in the a** for his spouse.”
Still, she reassured mothers that detachment doesn’t mean being distant. “Let them know that you’re their happy & safe space whenever they need a friend… In their times of crisis, you will be their biggest warrior & do everything you can to help them,” she wrote.
Books That Inspired Her
To support her approach, Thapar recommended The Self-Driven Child and The Courage to Be Disliked which focus on giving children autonomy, teaching responsibility and encouraging healthy relationships.
Ending her post on a bold personal note, she wrote: “So 2026… I’m selfish & ready to focus on ME & MY NEEDS … if someone wants my time & love, EARN IT…. bohot kar liya duniya aur baccho ke liye, ab Simran… ja jee le apni zindagi !!! (I’ve done enough for the world and for my children. Now, Simran… go live your life).”
