Early Signs Unveiled
The initial years with her son presented a unique set of challenges, beginning with his quiet demeanor in nursery school, where his focus was on the intricate
details of nature, like caterpillars, rather than conventional interactions. Despite his verbal reticence, his expressions were distinct and meaningful. During his early schooling in Kolkata, he attended an inclusive educational setting that prioritized values over institutional prestige, offering an accessible and affordable environment. As a preschooler, he struggled with following directives, making sustained eye contact, and coping with loud noises. Simultaneously, his deep-seated interests acted as a hidden current, revealing his profound and life-affirming perspectives on the world. This often manifested as a reluctance to connect with peers and prolonged engagement with solitary activities, such as striking marbles, which he approached with the intensity of someone deciphering a complex life puzzle, alongside a stringent need for silence and specific food textures during meals.
Navigating Challenges Together
What initially appeared as behavioral difficulties stemmed from a deeper disconnect, a struggle to comprehend his sensitivities to the world. The journey to understanding his unease was protracted, marked by well-intentioned but often unhelpful counsel. It was only after relocating to the NCR region that they found crucial diagnostic and therapeutic support. Through persistent occupational therapy, psychological counseling, strategically implemented classroom breaks, and a consciously protected space for leisure, the family navigated these complexities. Years of dedicated advocacy, involving countless emails to educators, frequent calls to counselors, consistent appointments, and a commitment to creating conducive living environments—often involving nature walks and avoidance of noisy spaces—culminated in him becoming a secure and well-grounded child. This process underscored the necessity of being a steadfast advocate, building a robust support system and understanding his specific needs.
The Gift of Neurodivergence
Neurodiversity often manifests as an elevated capacity for observation, allowing individuals to notice nuances that others might overlook. This heightened perception can link sensory input, such as a scent, to vivid memories and approach every experience with profound intensity. By looking more closely, one can discover a deep appreciation for the commonplace, a perspective that often crystallizes after enduring life's many challenges. The author's son, through his unique way of experiencing the world, has imparted lessons of bravery, depth, and unwavering determination. His habit of creating new words signifies an innovative approach to relating to the environment, suggesting an existence intertwined with the natural world rather than separate from it. This connection to the continuum of life, from stone to creature, offers a valuable lesson for our current era, emphasizing respect for all living beings.
Empowering Future Growth
There's a societal expectation that children are inherently social and will naturally thrive with conventional childhood experiences. However, for neurodivergent children, navigating institutions and societal norms requires continuous effort to foster understanding and acceptance. Equipping them with the necessary tools for self-advocacy is paramount, providing them with the skills to articulate their needs effectively and securing their future well-being. This journey also highlights the critical importance of self-care for parents, as they face numerous battles, both external and internal. Misunderstandings and prejudice, such as attributing a child's neurodivergence to a mother's career, underscore the ongoing need to normalize differences. Deviating from expected social behaviors can cause discomfort, necessitating a steadfast commitment to embracing and understanding these divergences.
A Mother's Evolving Role
The author views her son as a sanctuary where she deposits her most treasured discoveries from life's depths. She diligently gathers and offers him resources, leaving behind a trail of his past selves for him to uncover as he matures. Her role involves creating and holding a space for their mutual growth. The greatest satisfactions in her parenting journey emerge when she steps back and observes. Witnessing the inherent wisdom with which children engage with life is, in her view, one of the most significant acts of service a parent can offer. Raising a neurodivergent boy is an intricate process of weaving together his individual preferences into a harmonious whole. It has demanded a significant amount of unlearning traditional parenting approaches, such as the emphasis on conventional birthday celebrations or the assumption that family dinners are universally beneficial.
Adapting to His World
The author has learned to let go of rigid expectations, recognizing that cherished family rituals like communal dinners can sometimes lead to sensory overload for her son. She understands that not all children engage in typical park play. She has encouraged him to trust his intuition and to firmly stand by his core beliefs. He now faces the universal challenges of a ten-year-old, amplified by the pervasive influences of instant gratification, violence, and moral ambiguity in today's society. To truly connect with him and understand the undercurrents that shape his experience, the author has had to continuously reinvent herself, delving into the digital worlds of Minecraft servers, Skibidi toilet, Obunga, and the phenomenon of 'brain rot.' This adaptation is essential for mediating her understanding of his inner world and the information he absorbs.
Radical Love and Empathy
In a world that feels increasingly unstable and at odds with itself, the most effective way to raise a child is to actively learn the language of their inner world. This involves patiently teasing out their feelings and understanding how they process the information they encounter. Ultimately, beneath all these layers lies the foundational elements of love, unconditional acceptance, and radical empathy. These principles are not just guides for parenting a neurodivergent child but are essential for navigating the complexities of human connection in any context, fostering a deeper understanding and a more compassionate approach to life's diverse experiences.
