Foundational Principles
The author shares her earnest hopes for her son, emphasizing the importance of striving for excellence rather than settling for mediocrity. She views the ability
to change course as a demonstration of strength, not weakness, as true change requires effort, unlike remaining stagnant. Her aspiration is for him to cultivate an unyielding pursuit of his best self, even if absolute excellence remains an elusive ideal. This philosophy extends to his personal qualities, hoping he embodies both profound love and care, coupled with a discerning awareness of his surroundings. A healthy skepticism is seen as a valuable tool, protecting him from undue naivety. The advice also includes cherishing long-standing friendships while remaining open to new connections, and importantly, developing the wisdom to distance himself from individuals who drain his vitality and positivity.
Character and Convictions
The author describes her son, now 28, as a journalist, squash player, and foodie, who has mastered urban car ownership in New York City. Even in childhood, he exhibited focused interests, often fixating on a single toy series for extended periods, such as his long-lasting fascination with Thomas the Tank Engine, which prompted three consecutive years of themed birthday cakes. As an adult, he is characterized as a 'good soul' and a gentle individual with a remarkable capacity for attentive listening. However, when he holds a differing viewpoint, he displays persistent determination, employing arguments, logic, facts, and gentle persuasion to sway opinions, refusing to yield on what he genuinely believes to be true. This blend of kindness and unwavering conviction defines his approach to engaging with others.
Global Transitions
Born in Fairfax, Virginia, the author's son experienced a significant geographical shift at the age of nearly six, moving to India just before starting second grade. He was a well-adjusted child attending a suburban public school in Denver at the time. Upon arriving in India, he adapted remarkably well to the new environment. A notable aspect of his adjustment was his linguistic flexibility; he quickly learned to modulate his accent, understanding when to soften his distinct American 'R' sounds and when to employ them assertively for impact. This adaptability demonstrated his capacity to navigate new cultural and social landscapes with grace and intelligence, absorbing the nuances of his surroundings.
Values and Respect
The author reflects on her efforts to raise her son into a man of articulate communication across all social strata, fostering respect and kindness towards everyone, with a notable exception for drivers who exhibit aggressive behavior on the road. A core value instilled is a deep respect for women and the significant roles they play in his life. This perspective was influenced by his upbringing, where he was surrounded by strong, assertive female figures—including his aunt, paternal aunts, grandmother, and great-aunts—who showered him with affection. This environment led him, at one point, to believe that women held a more dominant position in society than men, a perception shaped by the powerful female presence in his formative years.
Wisdom and Whimsy
The author expresses her hope that her son has developed the ability to think critically and to avoid unnecessary anxiety over uncontrollable circumstances. She also humorously recalls how she once substituted a toy hammer with a screwdriver, telling him it was a hammer, a tale she hopes fuels his ongoing curiosity and playful questioning of the world. She anticipates he will remember her teachings on the specific spot on the tongue for swallowing bitter medicine, a trick she hopes he passes on. Furthermore, she playfully hopes he'll continue to utilize specific sleeping positions for managing flatulence, and that he will master tying shoelaces properly, moving beyond simply slipping shoes on and off. Her wish is for him to find joy in reading stories that stimulate thought and bring a smile.
Life Lessons Learned
She humorously recounts the lesson learned that school buses do not wait for anyone, except when his mother intervened as a protective human barrier. This anecdote highlights the occasional leniency experienced in childhood. The author stresses the indispensable value of hard work, while acknowledging that harmless superstitions like touching wood, crossing fingers, or reciting prayers before a test are unlikely to cause harm. She reiterates her aspiration for him to be loving and caring, yet possess keen observational skills and a healthy dose of skepticism. The advice emphasizes valuing old friendships while remaining open to new ones and having the courage to sever ties with those who diminish his spirit, urging him to never let others drain his 'mojo'.
Navigating Change
The author hopes her son will recognize that while long hair can be stylish for a time, a stable career is also subject to change. She reinforces the idea that embracing change is a sign of strength, as adaptation is more challenging than maintaining mediocrity. Her fervent wish is that he consistently aims for excellence, even if it is an aspirational goal, as this pursuit is far more rewarding than settling for less. She hopes he finds a partner who shares his unique outlook, delights in small joys, appreciates his humor, and accepts him unconditionally, acknowledging that while he was hers for a season, he now ventures into the world to share his distinctive blend of sense, wit, and positivity.
