Early Struggles & Diagnosis
Commander (retd) Shrirang Bijur, now 72, and his wife Anjali, 70, recount the early years with their son Abhay, whose developmental milestones were delayed,
leading to a diagnosis of 79% intellectual disability and 40% cerebral palsy. During a time of limited autism awareness, the Bijurs navigated this challenging period, initially in Mumbai where Abhay, diagnosed around age one and a half, exhibited hyperactivity and speech delays, not speaking until he was three. Commander Bijur, then a Lt Commander in the Indian Navy, and Anjali, a teacher, managed their younger son's needs by taking turns due to his constant activity. The family's commitment meant sending Abhay to a special school while their elder son attended a regular one, a deeply taxing phase as they simultaneously learned about Abhay's condition.
Seeking Expertise Abroad
During consultations at Abhay's school, the Bijurs were introduced to UK-based consulting psychologist Tom Jowel, who emphasized the critical role of speech and occupational therapies. A significant turning point occurred in 1989 when Commander Bijur was appointed Deputy Naval Advisor at the High Commission in London. This relocation provided invaluable exposure to numerous special schools, where parents were consistently reassured that every individual, regardless of being on the autism spectrum or facing other developmental challenges, possesses inherent potential. The prevailing philosophy in London underscored the parental role in enabling their child to achieve this potential, a perspective that profoundly shaped the Bijurs' approach to Abhay's upbringing and development.
Founding Sankalp & Voluntary Retirement
The therapeutic interventions in London proved beneficial for Abhay. Upon their return to Mumbai, Anjali Bijur furthered her expertise by enrolling in a Bachelor in Education (B.Ed) program specializing in Special Education and Learning Disability. This academic pursuit paved the way for her to co-found Sankalp, a special center in Navy Nagar, Mumbai, dedicated to training young children with autism and intellectual disabilities. In a testament to his unwavering commitment, Commander Bijur took voluntary retirement from his naval career in 1995 at the age of 42, allowing him to dedicate himself fully to caring for their son and supporting Anjali's pioneering work in special education. Their collective efforts laid a strong foundation for early intervention and support services.
Building a Support Network
Driven by a shared vision, Commander Bijur, along with other like-minded friends and mothers of children with intellectual disabilities, established a groundbreaking parents' association in India. Initially conceived as a space for counseling and mutual empowerment, this initiative has evolved into a robust institution known today as AWMH. This organization now plays a crucial role in administering therapy to nearly 100 children each month who are experiencing neuro-developmental delays, operating through its early intervention centers in Mumbai. This network provided essential support and resources, fostering a community where parents could share experiences and find strength.
Vocational Training and Life Skills
As Abhay reached 15 years old, his educational journey shifted towards vocational centers where he acquired practical life skills such as shelling peas and lighting candles. Following a move to Delhi for Commander Bijur's work in the private sector, Abhay joined Muskaan, an institution founded by mothers, focusing on developing social adaptability. During this phase, a key challenge involved understanding Abhay's triggers and his occasional aloofness or impatience. The family learned the importance of respecting his personal space, educating him about appropriate and inappropriate touch, and consistently offering him patient listening and maintaining honesty, mirroring the communication needs of any individual.
Cafe Dil: A Culmination of Dreams
Relocating to Pune in 2011 marked a new chapter, with Abhay joining Prayatna, an NGO and vocational center for individuals with special needs. For the past 14 years, Abhay has been an integral part of Prayatna, and more recently, has actively participated in 'Cafe Dil.' This cafe represents a significant achievement, born from the NGO's collaborations with private firms, aiming to create valued social roles for people with developmental differences. Abhay now works twice a week, contributing to sandwich preparation for a team that supplies a private firm, and assisting another team in serving meals to employees at Forbes Marshall during lunch hours, a truly rewarding endeavor.
Pride in Every Paycheck
After a four-decade-long journey, witnessing their son, now 42, stand at the door each month with a white envelope in his hands, is profoundly meaningful for the Bijur family. While the salary is modest, the immense sense of pride Abhay derives from holding it is invaluable. Although he may not fully grasp complex concepts of time and money, these moments serve as powerful reminders of the critical importance of raising awareness among parents. Recognizing the inherent dignity, equal rights, and unconditional worth of every autistic individual is paramount, and Cafe Dil stands as a testament to this belief in action.
