After a summer hiatus and several notable guest hosts, Jimmy Kimmel returned to Jimmy Kimmel Live. And boy did the late-night host have a lot to say about Donald Trump’s summer antics.
Kimmel spent the monologue of his 4000th show recapping Trump’s “crazy
summer” and discussing how the U.S. remains a complete mess. “It’s a lot of shows,” he noted of hitting the milestone episode. “According to the White House, it’s too many shows.”
He explained of the state of the nation, “When I left for summer break in the middle of June this country was a mess. We were at war with Iran at that time. Gas prices were high at that time. Inflation was high. Mitch McConnell was either alive or dead. Nobody seemed to have any idea which. No one still seems to. I guess they don’t even care anymore because they seemed to have just stopped trying to find out.”
Kimmel continued, “And now, only three months, later, I am so pleased to report that thanks to your favorite president, DJ Jazzy Donald, every one of those problems has been solved. We made America great again!”
The studio audience booed while Kimmel feigned ignorance. “Why isn’t everyone standing up and clapping?” he asked. “It said on Truth Social he made America great again. Are you telling me the president of the United States had three full months and spent $20 million and couldn’t even get a pool cleaned?”
Kimmel explained that Trump’s approval numbers are at an all-time low and gas prices have now hit an all-time high. The Straight of Hormuz also remains closed. “At this point Blockbuster Video has a better chance of reopening than the Straight of Hormuz,” Kimmel quipped.
He added, “Donald Trump and I have one thing in common: We both accomplished nothing all summer long.”
One thing that has changed: Trump’s hair color. Kimmel shared a photo of the president with what seems to be a new shade to his hair. “Is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 80 years old?” Kimmel asked. “It’s like he’s aging in reverse. He’s our own little Benjamin Glutton.”
Kimmel acknowledged that Trump sharing “a gusher of AI-generated slop” over the weekend almost felt like the president was welcoming him back to work. “On Sunday alone he posted he 37 times,” Kimmel recounted. “One of them this: He said, ‘The moon is ours.’ Okay. We own the moon. The moon is America’s lightbulb now.”
Trump’s other posts included a suggestion to rename New Mexico as New America and a video of himself as a Green Lantern.
“As if the people in New Mexico don’t already have enough on their plate, trying to spell the word ‘Albuquerque,’ now they have to deal with this,” Kimmel responded. “And, of course, no ridiculous idea would be complete without merch,” Kimmel said. “After cancelling the word ‘Ontario’ Trump is now selling Lake America hats for $55 a pop. Which is a small price to pay to let everyone around you know you did not graduate the sixth grade.”
Kimmel’s return to Jimmy Kimmel Live comes after several notable guest hosts stepped in over the summer. These included Jelly Roll, who gave an emotional monologue about his political views, and Rosie O’Donnell, who also criticized Trump.
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