They give out a Pulitzer Prize for Criticism, but to my knowledge, the award has never gone to a Celtics writer. Not sure why.
Criticism isn’t inherently positive or negative, it’s just an analysis of the
quality of things. And here in Boston, we have a long history of criticizing our team, and I personally have criticized, been criticized for my criticism, and then occasionally criticized the ways in which my criticism has been criticized.
If anything, the Celtics are the gold standard for the field. But that may be in jeopardy.
Keen-eyed observers may notice that I have not written anything about this team since June 25, when I unironically advocated for trading Jaylen Brown. While the obvious explanation is that I had lost all my credibility after such a brazen take, the reality is that I felt I had very little to criticize. Not because we were too good or too bad — everyone knows the best and worst teams get torn apart the most. It was because we didn’t know if we were good or bad.
After the first two games of the NBA season, we’re probably bad, but I’m still hollow. Despite poor play, I still have nothing to criticize. How does that work? Well, I think I figured it out. And I’m coming out of retirement to tell everyone.
The Celtics are a boat, and they are rudderless. But they aren’t sinking, they are floating just fine, and everyone on board is safe and well-provisioned. They just aren’t going anywhere. Boston is a damsel not-particularly-in-distress, stuck in a tower but sort of just… chilling up there.
But you can criticize rudderless teams (cough cough the Chicago Bulls), because not having a direction signals organizational incompetence. The Celtics, on the other hand, have none of that. They have made responsible and frankly intelligent basketball decisions in the last year. They are rudderless for no fault of their own — Jayson Tatum tore his Achilles and the second apron tore up the rest of the roster.
(All Celtics fans in unison): “What can you do?”
I can’t criticize the Celtics for losing; they don’t have the players to beat even above-average teams consistently. I can’t criticize the Celtics roster decisions that got them there; the second apron crossed every T and dotted every I. I can’t criticize them for not having enough stars; a top-5 player in the NBA is sitting on the bench in a suit for no fault of his own. I can’t really… say anything.
As crazy as it sounds, the Celtics’ universe-imposed rudderlessness has made them impervious to criticism. It’s not just me; I consume droves of Celtics content every week, and most discussions start and end with silver linings of their situation. We’re all talking around the edges, because the center is floating around in space waiting for something to happen. And it’s nobody’s fault.
So where do we go, as a basketball team and as critics? The answer is to build a new rudder out of chewing gum and matchsticks. Or maybe just turn the whole boat into a hot air balloon with a sail made out of t-Shirts. In short: we all need to get creative. I want the Celtics to try some stupid things out, use this year of floating around to do some things never before seen on a basketball court: Shoot only threes in a game. Attempt zero twos. Play Derrick White at center. Point Jaylen? I’m down for it all.
What are they going to do, tank? With Joe Mazzulla and a cohort of serious fricken basketball players? I don’t want that for them, and I don’t think new owner Bill Chisolm has the moxie to demand that of his group.
And I’ll get creative, too. Without easy criticism to write, we actually have to buckle down and come up with stuff for the first time in a while. For two years, my articles wrote themselves. But if I’m asking the Celtics to try and be creative, I’ll try, too. It’s a waiting game until Tatum comes back, so let’s have fun in the interim.
