Wow. What a game. What a win. What a statement. I have to start there. Saturday’s victory over Texas A&M in front of 100,000-plus fans at Kyle Field is what Miami Hurricanes football fans have been clamoring
for for years now. Coach Mario Cristobal has this program where it needs to be in his fourth season. I, along with every other Canes fan, are thrilled to be able to watch our team on New Year’s Eve for a quarterfinal CFP matchup against that team from Ohio.
As far as my viewing experience for the A&M game…well, that was a different story.
I woke up around 6 am Saturday morning, nothing unusual there as I am not one to sleep in, even on the weekends. After rubbing my eyes and taking my morning relief in the bathroom, I could tell something was off. I told myself I’d be fine. I just needed to wake up some more, get some fluids in me, and feel good for the Miami game. I made my way to the couch with some water and Gatorade, ready to relax before my son wakes up and the wife goes to work.
Then, around 7 AM, it hit me. I started shivering nonstop and was freezing in a house that was 70 degrees. I put on my sweet Lacoste pajamas, a sweatshirt over them, plus some thick nighttime socks, then covered myself in a blanket. Not great. Then my eyes started closing. I felt like I was dozing off every couple of minutes. A solid headache and upset stomach followed. By the time my wife and son came downstairs, I was in the fetal position in the corner of the couch. It sucked. As a small business owner, my wife had to work and leave little guy home with me. I assured her we would have a fine, albeit extremely lazy day together.
After making him a scrambled egg for breakfast, I returned to my position on the couch. Quick note for a great scrambled egg recipe: touch of heavy cream and a pinch of salt before scrambling, knob of good butter in the pan, then some freshly shredded mozzarella cheese a minute or two before the eggs are finished cooking. It’s a protein-filled, good-fat breakfast for a child, especially a smaller one like mine who’s trying to put on weight.
By 9 AM, I was fading fast. I told little guy he could watch Paw Patrol while daddy took a nap on the couch. Am I proud that I let him watch almost three hours of TV straight before his nap? No, no I’m not. But hey, I read to him often, take him outside to play all the time, and there are far worse things for him to watch than Paw Patrol. He’s not even three years old yet. He’ll be fine. How about that for a parenting defense?!
After putting him down for a nap around 11:45, I stumbled back to the couch determined to be more coherent and alive for the game. I wasn’t going to lay on the couch, I was going to sit up, be engaged, and ride with my Canes. That lasted about two minutes. I was quickly back to laying on the couch, bundled up, bemoaning my current condition.
I do remember watching most of the first half. I think I even made an audible noise when Malachi Toney almost broke that punt return for a touchdown in the second quarter. Just before halftime, little guy woke up and rejoined me in the living room. He’s too young to really watch a football game with me, but he was so good on Saturday, entertaining himself while daddy was dying on the couch.
After making his lunch once halftime started, I crashed for about twenty minutes. Luckily, when I came to, Keelan Marion was getting knocked out of bounds after his catch-and-run on the opening drive of the third quarter. Good timing. A few minutes later, I gave the lamest fist pump ever after Carter Davis put Miami up, 3-0. I did manage to write most of the Game Recap article while blinking excessively to make sure I wasn’t typing gibberish. I’m not calling myself a hero for doing so, but…
As close of a game as it was, I still didn’t move for the fourth quarter. Not even for the huge Mark Fletcher Jr. run or the Toney touchdown. That’s how terrible I felt. Then, my buddy Hayden texted me just before the final play of the game. It read “What a game!”. I was terrified. He lives in San Antonio, so I figured he was five to ten seconds ahead of me. I also figured Texas A&M was going to score a touchdown and take this game to overtime. Thankfully, Hayden knows how much of a Hurricanes fan I am. It was a congratulatory text. After watching Bryce Fitzgerald’s game-ending interception, I replied with a succinct “F#@k yeah.”.
Sadly, Miami’s win did not magically heal me. I sat up, put my head down in pain for a few seconds, turned on Paw Patrol for the little guy, then finished my Game Recap. I could barely read the words on my computer screen, but I didn’t see anything egregious in my sickly haze, so I posted it and hoped for the best. I treated my Three Stars article like a checklist: intro, stars, Twitter videos, proofread, post. And again, I hoped for the best. Being that I didn’t receive an angry email from Cam, I think they turned out okay.
The wife came home just before 5 PM, took over with the little guy, and let me go upstairs to die..I mean rest. I toss and turned for what seemed like forever, went back and forth between the couch and bed, then finally crashed for good sometime after midnight.
Then, a miracle. I woke up Sunday morning at 10 AM (sleeping in is kind of nice, I must say) and felt almost completely normal. What a relief. I did not want to spend a second day in a row shivering on the couch.
Okay, enough whining and complaining about being incredibly sick for only about twenty-four hours. There was a huge positive by having a terrible viewing experience for Miami’s biggest win in over two decades: lack of stress. With how that game went, non-deathly-ill me would have been a complete mess for three-and-a-half hours. Slurs would have been yelled after every missed field goal. I probably would have torn my ACL jumping up and down during Toney’s punt return. Little guy would have started crying with how loud I screamed after Fletcher’s big run on Miami’s final drive. Lastly, I would have sprained an ankle stepping on one of little guy’s toys running around the living room celebrating the win.
I do find it ironic, or at least funny, that I felt worse than I can ever remember watching a Hurricanes game that just so happened to be their biggest one in years. However, I got to spend the entirety of Sunday morning watching all the postgame coverage praising the Miami Hurricanes football program. It felt great. I was smiling from ear to ear.
Oh, and I won $175 because I bet my Canes to win outright. Gambling!
It’s on to New Year’s Eve at the Cotton Bowl. Hopefully I’ll be back to my usual intense, unable-to-sit-still, stress-watching self I usually am. That said, if you told me Miami wins the game, but I have to be nearly comatose on the couch again, I’d happily take it.
