Ah, Keyonte Cay. An idle and immobilizing paradise planted firmly in the warm embrace of the [REDACTED] Ocean. A land where basketball hoops sprout from the soil. Where the calls of soaring seagulls are
reminiscent of an official’s whistle. Where grass is replaced by hardwood courts, and fresh, hot turnovers are served 24 hours from the local bakery. Take one good whiff, and you’ll be floating, whisked away to a sugary and delicate escape from all responsibility.
This budding island community first took root back in 2023, with the introduction of one Keyonte George to the ranks of the National Basketball Association. The entry price for real estate on this cozy corner of the globe was dirt cheap at the dawn of the original IPO, but value has since crashed through the ceiling as the third-year Jazzman has burst onto the scene with scoring exhibitions, distribution ability (complete with free same-day shipping, by the way), and an electromagnetic pulse capable of drawing a whistle from any referee within eyesight.
Many flocked to a home on the beach, where the glassy sands heat up and cool down with George’s field goal percentage. This season has consistently eclipsed record high temperatures. Even more trekked to the foot of the island’s snow-capped peaks — this makes perfect sense considering most residents of Keyonte Cay come from Utah. Archeologists discovered cave paintings reminiscent of Scott Drew, the letters “I”, “M”, and “G”, a five-year-old quarter pounder with cheese still in its golden arch-stamped packaging, and a 24-hour loop of Al Jefferson footwork highlights. Historians were obviously thrilled after observing these relics for a period of three consecutive blinkless days.
Dig around in your portfolio, assess your assets, and question your Grandmother about your inheritance, because if you didn’t get in at the ground level, it is no longer financially feasible to claim so much as a towel on the beach.
Yes, as it would turn out, I hold a personal stake in Keyonte Cay, and this investment has panned out much better than my Airbnb on Alderaan. From the moment the Jazz snagged him 16th overall, I had a gut feeling that George would pan out to be one of the steals of the 2023 class. That gut feeling was likely homerism. But still, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing on the S.S. Keyonte.
His first two seasons in the league, while offering frequent glimmers of potential, left many projecting George as a solid reserve in the backcourt, though not much more. A score-first ball handler who shot 39.1% from the field on high volume? Sounds like a nightmare of inefficiency if he takes the reins of the offense. As a rookie, his 1.76 assists-to-turnover ratio was less than ideal, and that’s just on the offensive end.
The defense — oh, the defense — was heartless. Empty. A vacant shell on every possession that offered nearly zero on-ball resistance, and exactly zero off-ball. Undersized for a shooting guard but ineffective against the best point guards in basketball, Keyonte did himself no favors on the defensive end, and that was if he brought effort. The Keyonte dilemma became so severe that, midway through last season, George lost his starting spot to rookie Isaiah Collier, a role which I feared number 3 may be pigeon-holed for the remainder of his career.
But this season? Well, Keyonte is a different beast entirely. Currently holding the seventh-highest odds to take home the Most Improved Player Award at season’s end, Key has carved away the imperfections, shaved off the inadequacies, and undertaken a complete metamorphosis in his third year.
Keyonte George 2025 Statistics (Difference to 2024-25 in parentheses)
Points: 23.5 (+6.7)
FG%: 45.0% (+5.9)
3PT%: 35.3% (+0.9)
Assists: 6.8 (+1.2)
Rebounds: 4.0 (+0.2)
Taking more shots within the three-point arc, unafraid of the towering figures that roam under the shadow of the cylinder. His advantage among the giants? Drawing fouls and reliably converting at the line — he’s hitting over 90% of his free throws and attempting nearly three more per game than last season. With a tighter handle and quick burst off the dribble, George has dabbled in the paint more than Bob Ross, where he loves to abruptly elevate off one leg and absorb contact as he rips his arms through the vines to find clean air and release.
At the rim, he’s shooting over 68% to this point of the season. This makes him a defense-drawing magnet whenever he penetrates the mid-range barricades.
It’s been a steadying ability for Keyonte this year, giving him chances to catch his breath and reassess at the stripe. Why do you think SGA has been so good and consistent in recent years? He’s so well-rested from the frequent free-throw appearances that he’s practically napping at the head of the key. Similar for Keyonte, he’s settling for pull-up three-balls far less frequently, opting to elevate from beyond as a last resort or heat-check instead of chucking as Plan A. He’s getting smarter and contorting the game to fit his needs.
In his two most recent appearances, however, Keyonte has gone completely ballistic. I believe the box score speaks for itself.
Keyonte George Box Scores in the Last 2 Games:
12/15 vs Dallas (OT):
37 points
11/20 FG
5/10 3PT
6 assists
10/12 FT
41 minutes
12/12 @ Memphis:
39 points
12/20 FG
5/9 3PT
8 assists
10/10 FT
34 minutes
That’s a bad man, and the walls of my bungalow are lined with gold thanks to that fact.
Calvin Barrett is a writer, editor, and prolific Mario Kart racer located in Tokyo, Japan. He has covered the NBA and College Sports since 2024.
