I know. I KNOW. It’s the second straight match where I’ve punted on a player ratings theme. The truth is — a combination of a very busy pre-finals week at my college, a midweek match, and my recent health challenges have made it tough for me to sit down and crank this out.
So, you get another quick-hit update for the Newcastle match last weekend. Don’t worry, I have something planned for Brentford, which will be coming (hopefully) very soon.
5 stars:
Cuti Romero (Community — 4.5): Two fantastic goals — one
with his head, the other a freakin’ bicycle kick. Some people may dismiss it because he shinned it but those people hate fun. Five stars.
4 stars:
Randal Kolo Muani (Community — 3.5): I really like Randy Kilo Miami’s game — he’s a hard worker, presses like a maniac, and will happily put in a shift even if it doesn’t fully come off for him. Wouldn’t mind keeping him.
3.5 stars:
Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 3.5): A couple nice saves and his brain didn’t fall out this time. I’ll call that a success.
Lucas Bergvall (Community — 3.5): Good to see him back out there and he was dynamic at the 10. Loved the backheel shot attempt even if it sailed over the bar.
Kevin Danso (Community — 3.0): Gave Micky van de Ven and his Hamstrings of Doom a deserved rest, and had a headed clearance off the line. Unlikely to ever be flashy, but he’s solid depth.
3 stars:
Mohammed Kudus (Community — 3.0): Had a nice assist to Cuti, but an otherwise frustrating performance going forward. He wasn’t BAD, just not especially GREAT.
Destiny Udogie (Community — 3.0): Had I not known that this was the last time I’d see Destiny play until 2026 I’d be a little harsher on him. That he was carrying an injury makes me a little more sympathetic to how frequently he got bypassed defensively.
Brennan Johnson (Community — 2.5): I’m a little sympathetic to Brennan here because he was making runs into space that were either not spotted or ignored by his teammates. He looked frustrated. So was I.
Pape Matar Sarr (Community — 3.0): IDK. He was OK?
2.5 stars:
Pedro Porro (Community — 2.5): Rough day at the office.
Thomas Frank (Community — 2.5): This felt like one of those matches where Spurs got a positive result in a hostile environment IN SPITE of Frank’s tactics, not because of them.
2 stars:
Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 2.0): I’m so done with this guy, even though the penalty was bullshit.
1 star:
No Tottenham Hotspur players were as bad as losing away at Newcastle, so it’s a good thing it didn’t happen.
Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating
Richarlison, Mathys Tel, Xavi Simons, Archie Gray, Wilson Odobert
