With a whimper, not a bang, we bid adieu to the 2025-26 iteration of Juventus.
Only two weeks ago, this team had complete control of their own destiny. All they had to do was beat two teams that were no higher than 12th place in the league table and they could salvage their season with Champions League qualification.
Instead of that, the Bianconeri put their worst foot forward.
They lost to a Fiorentina side that battled relegation for the majority of the season in their final home fixture. And, to put
a bow on the year, they choked away a two-goal lead in the last matchday against Torino in the Derby della Mole to finish the season with a draw.
(Not that it mattered, as thanks to results elsewhere not going their way, Juventus were already condemned to the hinterlands of the Europa League by the time Che Adams scored the goal that put the hated cross-town rivals level.)
In many ways, this team died the way they lived. They were inconsistent, untalented, overpaid, bloated, mentally fragile and generally mediocre. Just as likely to lose or win against any rival regardless of quality.
Chalk it up to coaching, players or just general ineptitude, but it was telling that the last goal Juventus allowed this season came from a set piece. A glaring weakness that was an issue for the team time and time again throughout the year, that never improved.
You know what we call teams like that? Bad. And being a bad team is usually not rewarded with a ticket to Europe’s premier club competition. Their sixth-place finish is the worst for Juventus (on the field) in nearly two decades as they head into, yet again, another summer with a lot more questions than answers.
(I’m, of course, not counting the 202-23 season in that stat above. The seventh-place finish that year was due to a 10-point deduction that the team had no control over. Sul campo that squad ended up in third place and I’m choosing to reflect that on the historical record of the Grab Bag. I’m sure they all appreciate that distinction.)
One last time, let’s cook.
Heads Will Roll
It’s truly a testament to the ghastly job Damien Comolli did with reinforcements for this season that out of all the movements his front office spearheaded, the very best one was Jeremie Boga.
No shade to Boga, who was generally useful — though hardly spectacular — in his six-month spell for Juventus and ended up earning a regular starting spot on Luciano Spalletti’s squad. But the amount of swing and misses for the French executive is truly something to behold.
Jonathan David, despite having a couple decent moments, crashed and burned under Spalletti and was a shell of himself by the business end of the season. Loïs Openda was also buried in the bench by year’s end and closed out the season with two goals in 39 (!!!) appearances, which really makes you miss the days of a “bad” signing being a guy like Hernanes. Who, at the very least, had the decency to have a cool goal celebration when he scored the exact same amount as Openda in 14 fewer games.
Joao Mario did not make it over half a season with the club and was swapped in the January transfer window for Emil Holm, who is a person that exists and will eventually receive the prestigious “Benedikt Howedes Award for Achievement in the Field of Existing as a Juventus Player.” For the privilege of 13 appearances of Joao Mario and 8 from Holm — who as a tandem combined for one assist in all competitions — Comolli gave up Alberto Costa to FC Porto. The same Costa who went on to tally 30-plus appearances for the Portuguese champions and had nine assists and a goal for good measure. Costa will play in the Champions League next season, for what it’s worth.
Last, and definitely least, Edon Zhegrova. If flashy TikToks of useless flicks and dribbles that amount to nothing were goals, Zhegrova would have finished the year as the Capocannoniere. Unfortunately, they do not. You and me, dear reader, ended up having as many goal contributions this year as Zhegrova, who managed 27 appearances but only a smidge over 500 minutes all season.
I get that Comolli got saddled with a lot of Cristiano Giuntoli’s cooking to deal with and that just starting new projects year after year is not ideal, but what type of project are we exactly salvaging here? Comolli is guilty of putting together this roster, for giving in to Igor Tudor’s infinitesimal leverage and resigning him for this season and ultimately for stewarding this complete failure of a year.
(I’d argue he should also get blamed for giving Spalletti an extension way before he actually needed to do so and tied himself to the coach regardless of how the team performed down the stretch. Which now makes it significantly harder to pivot given how the season ended. How he managed to extend two coaches who had little to no leverage is really some Art of the Deal stuff from my guy, Comolli.)
Thiago Motta and Giuntoli got fired for less, and patience for patience sake has never been a great strategy. Maybe if a signing had panned out, maybe if you could see tangible, real improvement with time. But as we stand, this team is arguably in a worse spot than they were two seasons ago when the Max Allegri 2.0 era ended.
What exactly am I holding my breath for if the current leadership remains?
Parting Shot of the Bag
Everyone wants to leave on top.
Unfortunately, this is not one such case. I very much would have enjoyed if my last season writing about Juventus was an epic, history setting season. Maybe a treble? Hell, I’d have —- happily —- taken a Europa League crown or Conference League romp. Nope, a bummer of a season it is for your boy.
My first post for this blog was in March 2018, after Juventus came back to beat Tottenham Hotspur in the Champions League. I wrote sporadically that season and then as a regular staff writer from the 2018-19 season onwards. That’s eight years in total, and through it all, good bad and everything in between, I was always proud of being able to have a byline on this blog and to share my fandom with this community over the years.
I want to take a moment to thank a few people. First and foremost, to head honcho Danny Penza, who gave me my first shot at writing for the blog, helped me through the growing pains of pumping out copy in seasons with a game every three days and supported even my most out of the box, nutty ideas. Up to and including going to Las Vegas to cover Juventus in the flesh in their U.S. tour a couple years ago. Sitting with Danny in the Allegiant Stadium press box and cosplay as a big-time sports journo will remain one of the more fun and surreal things I’ve done. I’m sure as long as he stays in charge of this blog, it will continue to thrive.
Shoutout to Chuks and Sam, my pod running mates at “The Old Lady Speaks.” It started as a lockdown project in 2020 to pass time and talk ball, so, it was tremendously fulfilling and fun to see it find an audience and grow as a project so much bigger than what it started. On that note, I’d be remiss not to mention Producer Kaush, who had to deal with less than ideal recording circumstances more than a few times and somehow managed to make us sound significantly better than we had any right of sounding. I will remain an avid listener and a big fan.
To Hunter, Calvin and Michael, thank you for the many roles you have played in the blog and the Slack debates. I’m sure those will continue as long as this dumb club continues to upset us and hopefully in the near future make us happy again.
Lastly, to this community. Thank you for reading and interacting with my writing. I hope it was somewhat enjoyable to read and at the very least a fun way to waste a few minutes at work. I’ve mentioned it a couple of times before, I’m sure, but before finding this blog and this place, rooting for Juventus was always a lonely endevour. I will not miss the OT comments and your innumerable, objectively wrong takes —- which I’m forced to remind you one last time that I’m right and you are not — but I will miss having a forum in which to share our joint fandom and I thank you for making following this club a significantly less lonely experience.
I got one more left in me when the season ratings come out later this month — and I will have some not-so-kind things to say about a certain Dutch national — but this is the very last edition of the Grab Bag. It was quite a ride.
Thank you for reading and, as always, see you next time.
