I interrupt the very serious draft analysis and free agency news for which you come to APC in the offseason, to bring you some silliness. Some funny business, if you will. As someone whose Green Bay Packers draft knowledge begins the day the picks are made in April every year, I like to have a little fun and look at the draft-eligible guys who have cool names. Why? WHY NOT? In no particular order, I present to you the 2026 Class of Cool Names.
LB Sonny Styles, Ohio State
This seems to be the name everyone has been talking about
for the last couple of weeks, because of its inspiration. Sonny, whose real name is Alex, was given the nickname because his fiery temper as a child reminded the family of Sonny from The Godfather, which is an insane thing to say about a kid. Sonny’s brother Lorenzo plays for Ohio State as a CB, and I’ve gotta say—Lorenzo Styles Jr.? Also a cool name.
DE R Mason Thomas, Oklahoma
Upon first glance, you may go “This is just a name,” and you’d be right! There is nothing about this name that catches the eye or gives pause. However, in an interview with The REF 1400 podcast, Thomas explains that the R in his first name is just a formality. On his mom’s side of the family, there are a bunch of first names that start with R. She wanted to name him Mason. To keep the tradition going, she settled on R Mason.
OT Gennings Dunker, Iowa
I don’t really have anything to add here, except that this guy looks exactly like you think he does. This name rips.
WR Germie Bernard, Alabama
Any DB covering Bernard in the NFL is hereby known as a Germaphobe. Germie is such an endearing name, I keep involuntarily smiling each time I say it out loud.
DE LT Overton, Alabama
LT Overton, full name Lebbeus Thomas Overton, is the name of a 19th century author who wrote the book your 8th grade English teacher forced into the curriculum.
OL Jake Slaughter, Florida
You’d think a guy named Jake Slaughter would look exactly like Gennings Dunker. Think again. This guy will block you into the sun, and then do your taxes.
DL Dontay Corleone, Cincinnati
Are you kidding me? A player named Don Corleone? Whose nickname is The Godfather? DRAFT THIS MAN FIRST OVERALL.
CB Ephesians Prysock, Washington
I am genuinely obsessed with this name. Key & Peele walked so Ephesians Prysock could run.
LB Red Murdock, Buffalo
Red Murdock, whose real name is Khalil, sounds like an old-timey movie star who specialized in Westerns. In an interview at the combine this year, Murdock says he got his nickname from the red hair he had as an infant.
LB Scooby Williams, Texas A&M
A lot of people get their nicknames from traits they displayed as a child, including Scooby Williams, whose real name is Jeremiah. Do you know how many Scooby Doo fruit snacks you have to eat for it to earn you a lifelong nickname?
CB Al’Zillion Hamilton, Fresno State
Some people are destined to be professional football players from their names alone. 10/10, he will be a star.
OL Rocco Spindler, Nebraska
Rocco Spindler? Sick. Full name Rocco Seth Kodiak Spindler? SICK.
DE Popeye Williams, Western Michigan
Gerrick Williams was given the nickname Popeye before he was born, because it looked like he was flexing his arm muscles in an ultrasound image. I’ve heard enough. Draft this man second overall behind Don Corleone.
WR Squirrel White, Florida State
Marquarius White was given the nickname Squirrel as an infant by his great-grandmother, because he mimicked the movements of a squirrel she saw while she was holding him.
WR Antonio Gates Jr., Delaware State
The cool thing about this name is that everyone reading it immediately realizes how old they truly are.
If you hated this list, fear not! I will be back next year with even more.
