Are you a Cleveland Guardians player? If so, welcome to Twinkie Town! You probably hit a home run tonight if your name is:
- Brayan Rocchio, whose nickname is “The Professor” according to Baseball-Reference
- Rhys Hoskins, who is batting .177 this season
- Petey Halpin, the first of his career and batting .194 this season
- Travis Bazzana, who was born in Australia
- Rhys Hoskins, again
- Petey Halpin, the second of this game, season, and career
All of these homers came off of Minnesota Twins ace Joe Ryan, who is the 13th player in Major League Baseball history to allow six homers in a game, and put eight runs up on the board. Patrick Bailey also had a homer in the game.
The Twins, who came hobbling from Wrigley Field after losing a laffer, had egg on their face after this game tonight. Ryan got yanked after four innings,
allowing 10 hits, eight earned runs, and notching only three strikeouts on 78 pitches. The defense and bullpen, for their part, did not particularly help their starting pitcher tonight.
The offense wasn’t completely dormant against Cleveland starter Tanner Bibee. After finishing the first inning already down 3-0, Minnesota put two runs on the board. Brooks Lee hit an RBI triple, bringing in Royce Lewis and Alan Roden hit a sacrifice fly to plate Lee. Otherwise, the Twins had baserunners in each of the six innings Bibee pitched except the fifth. Trevor Larnach notched an RBI single in the seventh while Victor Caratini hit an RBI double in the top of the eighth.
The Spiders continued the slaughter throughout the night off of Kody Funderburk, someone named Tommy Nance?, and Woo-Suk Go, combining for eight hits, five earned runs, two walks, and four strikeouts. Catcher Alex Jackson came in for the eighth, throwing a scoreless, one-hit inning to lower his campaign ERA to 13.50.
W: Joe Ryan (6-6)
L: Tanner Bibee (4-9)
Here’s a memory of a happier time in Cleveland from years past:
STUDS:
- You, the fine folks of Twinkie Town, for sticking through this awful game
- Trevor Larnach, Byron Buxton, Josh Bell, Brooks Lee: two hits each, plus gotta find the light
duds:
- Joe Ryan: 4 IP, 10 H, 8 ER, 3 K, 6 HR
- Kody Funderburk, Tommy Nance (is this a real person?), and Woo-Suk Go: 3 IP, 8 H, 5 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, HR
COTG:
Zach with the happiness, wishing Tony O a Happy Birthday!
The Twins drop to three games below .500 and four games behind the Spiders. They can avenge this loss as there’s still three games left in this series. Tomorrow night’s contest is another 540p Central start. Cleveland sends out Parker Messick (8-5, 2.73 ERA) while Minnesota calls upon Too Bad, Darling (TBD, a.k.a. probably a bullpen game). Thank you for joining!
