October 26, 2005, is a date that will forever live in the hearts of White Sox fans. An out-of-nowhere, 99-win juggernaut ended an 88-year World Series drought.
Now, 21 years later, a shorter but still ignominious era ended not with a bang, but a soft rawr.
The entirely-predictable has finally happened, as the White Sox play-by-play broadcaster John Schriffen’s contract was not extended by the White Sox, and 2026 will be the last of perhaps the strangest three-year stretch in White Sox broadcasting
history.
There will be many of Schriffen’s defenders putting out their lamentations at the quick and seemingly unfair ending to a young broadcaster’s career in Chicago. This, however, will not be one of them.
Schriffen was perhaps the worst broadcaster not only in White Sox history, but perhaps in all of MLB annals. Now of course, there’s no comparing him to men who threw their careers away with a flippant or careless slur … as Castellanos hits a drive into left-field for a home run. That will make it a 4-0 game … but Schriffen is going out in a way that seems somewhat quaint and old-fashioned in today’s viral cancellation climate.
He was just bad at his job.
Looking back, John came into this role at the worst and lowest point in this franchise’s history. The 2020-21 championship window had shut as quickly as it had been open. The 2023 team had just wrapped up the first of three consecutive 100+ loss seasons. So naturally, Jerry Reinsdorf decided that uber-talented, multi-network PBP man across multiple sports and Chicagoland native White Sox fan Jason Benetti was just taking too much of Jerry’s precious airtime doing Friday Night Baseball on Apple or Sunday Nights on ESPN and let Jason out of his contract early…ONLY FOR HIM TO IMMEDIATELY BE HIRED BY THE GO**AMNED DETROIT TIGERS (who, ironically, just extended Benetti’s contract at the end of the 2026 season).
And who, pray tell, did Jerry decide was the best choice to take over this mantle?
John Schriffen. A broadcaster with experience calling downballot ESPN the Ocho-level sporting events. And in an eerie recall of Ozzie Guillén’s expedited quitting (leading to a lethargic Robin Ventura dimming his status in fan memories with an unmemorable four-year stint, including a breathtaking September collapse in 2012), this was John’s first year ever as a lead PBP man in the majors.
Now, could I have been a little bitter and upset at this man being gifted a position that was the best thing going for the organization? Yes. No doubt. Could I have accepted John as the new guy if he was even just replacement-level quality behind the mic? Eventually, yes.
The moment I knew Schriffen was going to be an abject failure was during the Spring Training of the Year That We Must Never Speak Of, as the Sox were in a very long losing streak, and some Sox player with a uniform number in the 90s got a walk-off hit for the first win of the spring. And Schriffen uttered the phrase that will probably be burned into my brain until I pass away and my atoms are spread across the universe:
SOUTH SIDE! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDD UPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!
It was February. The Sox were terrible, and about to make history proving just how terrible they could be. And John decided that this was THE moment. Drop the catch phrase that would become the next “Put it on the Board!” and cement his legacy among the greats.
It did not.
There were so many more moments: Hyping up Tommy Pham’s outburst in Milwaukee (We ain’t taking that!), wondering out loud that maybe the Sox were just catching teams at the wrong time (said during one of the multiple 10+ losing streaks in 2024 and getting a classic deadpan reaction from Stoney), Bill VEEck (as in EEK), the flame war with multiple Score radio hosts, dropping a giant nacho helmet in the booth on camera (I thought Jerry hated having his broadcasters eat on company time?), and, well, this has already gone on long enough.
No wait, I have one more. The moment when everyone knew it was over-over. On a bright Sunday afternoon in Kansas City, the best Sox team to come out of absolutely nowhere in years, one win away from clinching a playoff spot no one could have predicted … and who is on the call for a potential clinching win?
Steve Stone and … Connor McKnight.
Schriffen was the wrong guy, at the worst time.
He was nice to me and my dog on Dog Day, but I will not apologize for being glad he will not be calling games for my favorite baseball team.
