Happy Festivus, everybody! I’ve got a lot of problems with you people. Now, you’re gonna hear about it!
No, I don’t mean you, dear readers. I’m obviously referring to the Yankees! Every fan who follows their team with any degree of regularity will start to have that team get on their nerves in a variety of ways. It’s human nature. In this article, we of Pinstripe Alley are here to perform a sacred Festivus tradition: the airing of grievances.
Of course, there are some obvious grievances I’m sure all
of our readership can think of: complaints related to a lack of recent championships or specific player transactions (or a lack thereof). While those are certainly valid gripes, I wanted to dig a layer deeper than those and explore the kinds of annoyances that are a bit pettier; the kind that might lead to a laugh track on your favorite 1990s sitcom. Thankfully, plenty of our writers were more than happy to oblige. Let’s begin!
Let’s start with a grievance from our very own site manager and head editor, Andrew Mearns. He directed his ire at that one brittle but deeply consequential piece of connective tissue: the UCL. Indeed, no baseball-themed Festivus celebration would be complete without bemoaning an ill-timed Tommy John surgery or three. Most prominently, staff ace Gerrit Cole lost his entire 2025 season to UCL repair, and it’s easy to wonder just how dominant the rotation could have been with a 1-2-3 combo of Cole, Max Fried, and Carlos Rodón. But in my opinion, Clarke Schmidt’s UCL tear early in the summer was just as agonizing. Schmidt, who has rarely ever caught a break in the injury department, was just hitting his stride with the weather warming up. He dazzled everyone on June 21 by tossing seven no-hit innings against the Orioles. Three weeks later, his season was over. That’s worth kvetching about.
Next, here’s a trio of grievances from John Griffin:
- “The stadium has done an increasingly bad job at handling lines outside the stadium.”
- “My brother got food poisoning from the popcorn…twice.”
- “They waited to give up 9 runs in one inning on September 9th until AFTER they stopped serving alcohol.”
I like these a lot. I’ll group the first two together as issues with Yankee Stadium specifically. There’s a lot to be upset about when it comes to the live experience at New Yankee: exorbitant ticket prices, obstructed views from the outfield, parking headaches, and so on. But when it also takes a half hour to get into the building—and everyone’s pushing and shoving you to get ahead of the blob of fans which has formed in lieu of a straight line outside the gate—that will get anyone’s blood pressure to rise. Additionally, the fact that John’s brother has been victimized by the stadium popcorn multiple times hints at problems with the concessions, which are naturally overpriced as arena fare always is.
Then, of course, there’s the experience of attending a game where your team completely pratfalls in front of your face. It feels personal. Of all the days you could have picked to look this bad, you waited for the day I showed up? In a similar vein, the only game at Yankee Stadium I went to this year was a game against the Red Sox. Matt Ferenchick’s recap title sums that game up best: A squirrel ran the bases more than the Yankees did.
Next up is a grievance that is so delightfully specific that it fits perfectly in the Festivus spirit. From Peter Brody:
“It irrationally annoys me to no end how long it takes Austin Wells to throw the ball back to the pitcher. It’s especially bad when the batter fouls off a pitch and Wells just watches it all the way into the stands like a dog watching a squirrel. There was a moment in the first two months of the season where Rodón was pitching and wanted the ball back right away and was getting visibly annoyed at how long it was taking Wells.”
I had never noticed this before, and I’m glad it was pointed out to me in the offseason otherwise I don’t think I’d ever be able to stop noticing. Now, I’m going to provide a lukewarm defense of Wells here: this could be a calculated strategy from him in the era of the pitch clock. The pitcher has to get the ball back for the clock to start running again. With mound visits and now disengagements limited by rule, taking your sweet time before giving the ball back is one of the only ways to buy extra time for your pitcher.
At the same time, Peter notes an instance in which Rodón appeared exasperated by Wells’ languid pace, so maybe he is just slow. But then again, maybe other catchers are really slow too. It’s not a position known for speed at any rate. Either way, if Baseball Savant ever runs out of new interesting metrics with which to measure the game, I’ve got a great idea right here! Which catchers take the most time to throw the ball back to their pitchers? I’m sure there are many use cases for this.
Next we venture into the realm of slapstick, as Michael Zeno volunteers:
“Every time they made a mistake it was always so stupid. I know they were statistically an OK defensive team and made few amount of outs on the bases, but my goodness was it stupid when they did it.”
Cue the Seinfeld bass line.
There’s another advanced stat idea in here somewhere. Goofiness Above Replacement? It’s-Not-What-You-Wants Created Plus? Anyway, the 2025 Yankees did shore up their fundamentals from last year, but there were still plenty of facepalm moments throughout the season.
Lastly, I’ll get on my own soapbox add a few grievances of my own. First, a silly one. Anthony Volpe walked up to Trap Queen by Fetty Wap for several months for who knows what reason. That song may have fit the zeitgeist a decade ago, but even then, it is (in my opinion) a pretty annoying song to hear a couple times a game—and because it was Volpe using it, said song tended to precede an uninspiring plate appearance. Before Trap Queen it was Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird, which also came several months after that song experienced something of a meme-fueled revival. Volpe mercifully moved off of Trap Queen before the end of the regular season.
Second, Yankees finally lifting their ban on players having beards was all well and good, but they seem to have kept the ban on long hair. Speaking personally, I think that’s nonsense. If beards are suddenly fine (and they are), why is it still bad to want to grow your hair out? Like the beard rule, it’s a regressive rule that at times borders on being offensive. It’s kind of whatever if a player signs with the Yankees as a free agent or waives a no-trade clause to join them, since they know what they’re getting into. But for others, particularly younger players who get drafted by or traded to the Yankees, they suddenly have to abide by rules they didn’t really sign up for. I won’t belabor the point too much more, but the case of Darnell McDonald being forced to cut off his dreadlocks when the Yankees claimed him off waivers remains instructive here.
Now, readers, I turn it to you. What were your oddly specific and petty grievances with the Yankees this year? And what should this year’s “feats of strength” be? Let us know in the comments!
