Daniel Zebulon Matthews has one of his better starts of his young career, and Nestor Coates not the best as he continues his recovery from injury. The Twins take advantage of a big Padres error. The bullpen doesn’t implode from having nobody left in it. Inning-by-inning notes:
1: As we begin the game, Matthews has a BAbip of .379, which is crazy unlucky. Or he’s the most hittable pitcher in baseball history. I doubt that.
sandwiches informs us that old friend Little Nicky Punto (LNP of BatGirl fame)
is a Padres coach. Of what? Chest-baring? First-plate-headfirst-diving? One hopes not both. That would chafe. He’s simply listed as a “ML” coach, so Morale Leader or Man Lessons or Mole Licker. (He is a San Diego native, so that’s nice for him to work with the hometown team.)
Luis Arraez gets a single. Surprised? Ryan Jeffers also gets a single, and he IS surprised when he tries running to second and the throw beats him by 15 feet.
2: Gavin Sheets gets a hit. Is he related to former Brewers pitcher Ben Sheets? No. He is Son of Larry, Larry Sheets, who played a few years for the Orioles. Ben Sheets is cousin of Andy Sheets, who was an infielder for a few teams in a few years. I know, I know, you don’t give two sheets about the Sheets. Forget I brought it up, then.
3: Royce Lewis saying on radio he learned to “control his aggression” from playing roller hockey. Good thing he’s not into roller derby, where players have name like Hurtrude Stein and Stalker Channing.
It sounds like everyone at Target Field has been anesthetized, until Matthews makes an error trying to barehand a slow-rolling grounder. That gets some “ugggghhhh” from the fans. Jake Cronenworth scores on a tag-up from third. He is not related to respected cinematographer Jordan Cronenweth.
Kody Clemens and Trevor Larnach singles open the Twins’ half, Clems to third.. Byron Buston hit into what would would be a double play if it wasn’t Buxton running. He advances to second on a Jeffers walk.
THEN HE STEALS THIRD! Why am I excited? Because Buxton has never stolen third before. 112 SB, and none were of third. So of course Luke Keaschall strikes out and Brooks Lee pops out. Tied 1-1
4: Larry son Gavin has a two-out double and Jose Iglesias knocks him in. Matt Wallner’s throw sux and Iglesias reaches second. He is stranded there. As in, he will still be there when you read this, crying desperately for help to an empty uncaring cosmos.
A Wallner single and Austin Martn walk and a slooooow catcher to the mound. Cortes sees the writing on the wall, knows he’s getting yanked, so he starts snarling at the ump about the walk and gets tossed. A “you can’t fire me because I quit” situation, I guess.
Wandy Peralta pitching. Lewis fills the bases with a single. Cronenwerth boots a perfect GIDP ball and two guys score. Larnach singles and two more score. Buxton beats out a DP and Peralta’s gone. I didn’t even have time to look up what Peraltas he’s related to. (None that played MLB baseball.)
David Morgan pitching. Actor David Warner was in a 1966 movie called Morgan. Close enough. Buxton steals second, and is 21 for 21 on the season. Morgan throws 21 pitches and the Twins score on none of them. Still, Twins 5-2
5: Fernando Tatis Jr. singles and Arraez goes GIDP. Radio has former radio guy Kris Atteberry doing an ad for a pest control service. Oddly it does not mention Atteberry’s previous colleague Dan Gladden.
Martin singles and Gladden mentions his speed and Martin promptly gets caught stealing. Lewis goes Homer! Pitcher Yuki Matsui in, not related to the other MLB Matsuis.
I always liked Hideki Matsui. On Yanquis teams full of massive egos, Matsui and Bernie Williams were the quiet, solid guys.
Anyhoo, walk, single, Buxton RBI. Minnesoters 7-2
6: Zebulon finishes six innings; the third time he’s done so this year in 12 starts. Improvement? We’ll say improvement. He had nine starts last year and never went six full in any of them.
Twins leave ’em loaded and another Friars pitcher is involved. Ok, whatever, have a nice day.
I mentioned last week that a website posted a bad list of Fall Movies To Watch. Fortunately, I found a better one this week in The Guardian. I mean I like artsy stuff and all, but even I wanna see a new Spinal Tap written by Chris Guest. Especially now that Guest/McKean/Shearer all have more acting experience. Plus The Guardian acknowledges that foreign films exist, which most American critics don’t, besides acknowledging Bong Joon Ho. (Who is good, but overrated.)
7: 89 pitches and Zebby still in! Until Son of Larry hits a single and Zebby is out. It’s Justin “I prefer on” Topa. Jose “To All The Girls I Loved Before” Iglesias singles. Cronenwerth walks, they’re full. Nobody out.
Pop-up, 2 RBI Tatis single. Then… a lineout to Keaschall and he doubles Tatis off, too far from first! Oops, Fernando. There was something in the air tonight, the stars were bright, you’re out now.
Deez Twinsers don’t do anything so it’s 612 7-4
8: Cole “Alberta Tar” Sands has no problems. Radio mentions that the Padres will be starting Nick Pivetta tomorrow, and that reminds me of NBA ref Dick Bavetta. In 2002, Dick Bavetta reffed a playoff game so horribly that the FBI investigated it to see if there was any Mob involvement or league pressure or anything like that. They didn’t find anything, but it was some really crappy reffing.
9: Your closer tonight is… Kody Funderburk? OK. Twims wim! (Yes, we spell it wrong here, it’s a site thing.)
Studs: Keaschall for good catch/double-off, Matthews for decent start, Buxton for 2 RBI, Larnach for going 3-4 with 2 RBI. And the Twins’ PA people for doing a tribute to the victims at Association Catholic School.
Duds: all of you for not marrying a Pohlad and getting handed the team yet, SpongeBob for a terrible first pitch.
COTG go to to BH-Baseball and nagurskiinsandpoint for liking the intro (it’s my favorite on the season and I can promise the best of the season ‘cause I always run out of gas in September), but especially sandwiches for keeping the thread alive. Thanks folks!
Tomorrow’s game is at 6:10 Central, featuring the aforementioned Pivetta and something called a Taj Bradley as your starters. (I guess Bradley has been a Rays starter for a year plus and started one game for the Twins since the Trade Deadline Sell-Off? Shows what I know.)
Enjoy your weekend if you’ve got one, and avoid the planet State Fair at all costs! Farewell…
