Did you know the American lobster has a lifespan of about 15 years? That’s also the average lifespan of goats, cows, female lions and the small parrot known as the budgie. If you considered all of the lobsters, goats, cows, lionesses and budgies born in 2010, they will have lived their entire natural lives, all fifteen years, having witnessed only a single winning season from the New York Jets.*
The Jets are an amazingly bad team.
Admittedly, the Miami Dolphins aren’t looking that hot right now either,
and we have our own streak of futility that we don’t need to get into here. But there’s a difference between a bad team and an unproven team, and right now, the Dolphins have so many question marks at every position (including the head coach) that they’re hard to quantify. They’re the NFL’s youngest team, so you have to assume growing pains, but are they Jets-level bad?
Since we’re right on the cusp of the 2026 regular season, here are what various prognosticators are predicting for the Dolphins’ win total in 2026. I’ll offer my own take at the end, but throw your guesses in the comments.
- Former Dolphin Ryan Fitzpatrick: 0 wins!
- Sporting News: 2 wins
- Mike Clay, ESPN: 2.5 wins
- CBS Sports: 3.5 wins
- iHeart’s NFL Daily: 4 wins
- The Athletic: 4.4 wins
- Kalshi: 4.5 wins
- DraftKings: 4.5 wins
- BetMGM: 4.5 wins
- Hard Rock Bet: 4.5 wins
- ESPN: 4.5 wins
- Sports Illustrated: 4.5 wins
- Good Morning Football’s Peter Schrager: 5 wins
- Locked On Dolphins’ Kyle Crabbs: 5 wins
- 7 Oracles Predictions: 6.57 wins
- Gridiron Edge: 6.83 wins
I know I tend to view the Dolphins with aqua-and-orange-tinted glasses, but I think the team’s offense has some real juice. The depth is a little scary, though, and I think like a quarter of the team just signed two weeks ago. Plus with so many first- and second-year players, it might look a bit ugly at times, especially early on. But you can put me down for 6 wins as the first step in a successful rebuild.
How do you see the team finishing this year? Share your thoughts in the comments!
*And to all those elderly lobsters and budgies born in 2011 hoping this is the Jets’ year: Don’t hold your breath.
