I was doing just great . . .
. . . until sundown Saturday.
After which, I got blown away like a hurricane. (There was no calm in my eyes.)
Prior to that sun setting, the Cards resurged over Florida State, IU showed an “indomitable spirit” in HuskerLand (where you can buy a used stadium urinal trough being replaced in a remodel) and the North Carolina Belitrinos won at Pitt.
Then as darkness descended, at least where I was residing if not where the games were being contested, the Longhorns were ambushed
somewhere downstream on the Red River, the former James Madison Dukes now Bruins showed disrespect at Autzen and Will Stein’s Cats inquired, “Who are the Sissys now?”
Three up. Three down. 29-19 for the increasingly mediocre season of predictioneering.
CoachSpeak of the Week: “Lads, you’re not to miss practice unless your parents died, or you died.” — Frank Leahy
Programming Note: Wednesday night’s I-Gotta-Watch-No-Matter-Who-Is-Playing tandem of battles is a Ryan McGee/ Steve Harvey Bottom 10 Field of Dreams.
Kennesaw Mountain Landis State vs. Mizzou State.
Western Kentucky Hillstoppers vs. Sam Houston We Have A Problem.
Watch at your own risk — I’ll be tuned into baseball — I have no predictions.
But, in a week with more than a handful of tests with Top 25/ CFP Implications, this week’s winners:
Notre Dame @ Brigham Young. Is there a way I can get through this paragraph without making some sort of religious joke? Probably not. It’s like the Crusades, or something? Not really, but I shan’t offend. At least try not to. Both are undefeated. Both are Top Ten. Must be singing the right hymns on Sundays. Boom! Oops. In the Irish’s case, a creampuff schedule has helped. But they’re good and chomping at the bit for that little bitty slight at the end of last year. The ever experienced Cougs are on a mission. OK, Seedy, enough. Notre Dame.
Washington State @ Oregon State. Welcome to the Rubbermaid Leftovers Bowl. Talk about needing therapy for immediate onset inferiority complex, the Beavers and Cougars had all that and more when all their mates abandoned them for greener pastures. They’ve ducktaped and safety-pinned together a new PAC, which is NOT Bill Walton’s Conference of Champions. But, but, but Jamarcus Shepard at OSU has coddled together a contingent that’s won four in a row. Featuring former Mercer signal caller Braden Atkinson, and out of nowhere newcomer WR phenom Jesse Legree. There is buzz. Like last season’s home and home, these two might meet again the last weekend of the season, some sort of flex scenario. This is where a younger me would have made a joke quoting the Primus song, “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver.” I’m more mature now. So I say. Oregon State’s Big Orange Beavers.
Oklahoma State @ Houston. Top 25 encounter. You can look it up. The Pokes opening L to Tulsa continues to be a head scratcher, since they’ve keep winning every week. Their W over the Quack isn’t quite the resumé enhancer it seemed at the time, but given how woeful Okie State was last year when the Mullet was still around, it’s a check mark in Sharpie. The only blemish Willie the Fritz’s gang suffered was a two point setback in the Permian Basin to the Cody Campbells. These Cougars fare better than those in the previous paragraph. Houston.
Ohio State @ Indiana. I’m told this game is So Huge, Gus Johnson’s being put on a Thorazine Drip at noon Friday, 24 hours in advance. The Cignettis, far from as impressive as a season ago, are going to lose at some point, right? Gotta happen. I mean the coach hasn’t been sighted taking a stroll across Monroe Lake. He is mortal. We think so at least. And 87-13 ain’t chopped liver. That’s Ryan Day’s record for the Buckeyes. Vs. CC’s 33-2 in Bloomington. Last week I stated there is no reason to pick against IU until they lose. That was last week. This Saturday, Jeremiah Smith is visiting. He shall not be contained. Ohio State.
Kentucky @ Oklahoma. Will the Cats be able to summon the spirit of the ’51 Sugar Bowl, when they upset #1 Oklahoma, 13-7. It is not to be discounted. That Stein guy has more than a smidge of Bear Bryant about him. Absent the fedora. Which of these two schools will be closer to down to earth, and therefore more ready to perform? Sooners corralled the Horns along the Red River. Cats have won two in a row in extras. No discouraging words in the diehard chat rooms this week. Home field is the edge. Oklahoma.
Louisville @ Syracuse. The Orange, it is reported — I haven’t seen them for a down all campaign — have used four QBs in each of their last two games. Wasn’t there a game Jeff Brohm’s first season at U of L when nine or ten QBs took at least a snap? Which begs the question, were there enough chairs in that QB Room? I thought I saw something discomforting yesterday, that it’s still up in the air, who will be calling plays for the Cards on Saturday. Huh? Jeff, Jeff, Jeff . . . Well, no matter in the Carrier Dome, Louisville will win.
— c d kaplan
