Never was able to get into “Mad Men” when it started streaming. Seemed kind of forced, artificial almost. But I’m giving it another shot. Have watched first episode. Will advise. It does have me thinking
in the context of bowl season about marketing and advertising and PR. And how the future of non-CFP bowls will depend on whether others can replicate what the brilliant folks behind the Pop Tarts Bowl* have done. *Which about ten sponsors ago started out as the Blockbuster Bowl. Cue the South Park memory of when Randy bought the video store. Dousing the winning coach with a humongous glop of mayo . . . meh . . . a one trick pony, an image that only needs be seen once. Winning team eating a big bowl of baked beans? A double dipping nightmare even if it’s in a warm clime. Snoop “He’s everywhere, he’s everywhere” Dogg catching a touchback kickoff in the endzone? Moderately amusing. But watching the victorious BYU Cougars decide which pastry mascots get slotted in the world’s biggest toaster thus turning them into edible Pop Tarts, with the portly coach stuffing a whole down the gullet in a single gulp, then explaining/ advising he has a few more pounds to gain before his New Year’s resolution? Priceless. It works. That some commenter in a game story called it a “snackrifice” is testament to how this marketing has resonated. Teams actually look forward to playing in this one, and fans appear to want to watch the shenanigans. Bowls need more of this to get viewers and participant fanbases excited. Who cares whether some company with an incomprehensible name claims the best AI program or mortgage rates? * * * * * Before we get to football, a couple coaching loose ends. Anybody seen or heard from Brian Kelly? Some reports advise he’s entered the Federal Witness Protection program. Other have him residing in some rural Alabama facility — Tommy Tuberville Home for Untethered Ex-Coaches — which treats fired mentors, and attempts to rehab them back into real society. Brian, yoo hoo, just send up a smoke signal. Finally from reliable sources, reports of Jeff Brohm’s abdication as U of L’s football coach were greatly exaggerated. Those close to the situation in Ann Arbor report the Brohm was never contacted by Michigan. So, that’s the name of that tune. The homie is making $6 million a year to coach the Cardinals. I’d advise that’s plenty. Josh, you listening? As for my second go round of postseason picks, I went a boffo bounce back 4-1. I forgot that PJ Fleck is undefeated in bowl games at Minnesota and picked New Mexico. Which Lobos were far from as excellent as David Hidalgo and Cesar Rosas and their musical pals. Trending upward, more winners: Tennessee vs. Illinois (Music City Bowl). Shouldn’t this be the Orange Bowl? The schools colors are hues so close you need a Pantone color chart to distinguish. I remember a bowl game of my youth when the Vols were playing Texas, also an orange school. It was when most schools wore the same unis every week. The announcer mentioned as how one of the schools had to buy a whole new set of jerseys. Those days are long gone. What we have here is way more mediocrity than some new wannabe singer in town on amateur night in an east end Nashville dive bar. It’s almost a home game for Rocky Top. Enough for them to prevail. Southern California vs. Texas Christian (Alamo Bowl). Here are teams I will own I have absolutely no sense of. Other than the Trojans and Irish just deepsixed their long standing rivalry. I think I read somewhere that favorite USC has a bunch of guys opting out. In such knowledge deprived situations during bowl season, my inclination is to blindly (and often stupidly) go with the underdog. So I shall. Besides the Horned Frogs nickname is way cooler, save for the prophylactic jokes. Iowa vs. Vanderbilt (ReliaQuest Bowl). My my what a bildungsroman we have with the resurgence of Vanderbilt Commodore football. Of course, I just used a word I don’t believe I was aware of until reading it in a movie review last week for “Marty Supreme.” Maybe you are familiar if you’re a former Spelling Bee participant or National Merit finalist who learned it for the College Boards. It essentially means an origin story. Of German entomology as if you couldn’t figure that out. The ‘Dores face the Hawkeyes in one of the bowls which doesn’t feel it necessary to give a nod to some sort of local flora or fauna or history. The sponsor is a provider of “Agentic AI Powered Cybersecurity.” Research that yourself. The game, oh yes, the game. Diego Pavia goes out on a high. Unless he litigates his way for more eligibility next season when he’ll have more to come. Arizona State vs. Duke (Sun Bowl). How you like your Devils? Sun? Blue? As a way to make eggs for Uncle Mort’s New Year’s Eve brunch? OK, another question, rhetorically speaking. Has there ever been a conference champ more demeaned that Duke? Doubt it. But they hung on in OT after a feisty comeback by foe UVa in the ACC title battle. State is . . . I don’t know . . . haven’t watched a play of their’s all season. Sun Devils in the Sun Bowl. Is that a sign? You tell me. I’m stickin’ with the ACC. Duke. Michigan vs. Texas (Citrus Bowl). Texas entered the season with massive expectations. It took the Horns awhile to start hookin’ ’em. Which they did winning six of their last 7. Michigan is a mess. Duh. On the field. In the locker room. Interim prexy. More scandals than Epstein’s cronies. An AD surely on the way out. But the players that are still around and intend to stay around want to impress new coach Kyle Whittingham. Will that be enough to best an obviously disappointed CFP hopeful Texas contingent? No. — c d kaplan
