The Super Bowl is this weekend, and the Green Bay Packers are not part of it for the 15th consecutive season. Instead, the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots are meeting at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara to face off for the Lombardi Trophy.
As a Packers fan, I’m fairly neutral on this game. On one side, there’s a lot of hate in my soul for the Seahawks based on the Packers’ history with them. Between “The Fail Mary” and that one NFC Championship Game that my therapist is sick of hearing
about, I don’t want any Seattle success. On the other hand, the Patriots are once again back in the big dance. How did we, as a society, let that happen? The Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs have won 9 of the last 10 AFC Championships. I am begging for some fresh faces. So, while I will be watching this game, I don’t really have a preference for who I’d like to see win. Maybe the Seahawks, just because it would be funny to see Sam Darnold win a Super Bowl after the Minnesota Vikings let him walk after he carried that offense last season.
That being said, this got me thinking about what the best and worst scenarios would be to watch as a Packers fan on Super Bowl Sunday with Green Bay not in the big game. What matchup would have you relaxing and enjoying the game because you’re unbothered by any trauma and history and are just rooting for everyone to have a good time? And what matchup would have you hate-watching to unfathomable levels that causes your blood pressure to rise while steam comes out of your ears like a cartoon character?
My Answer: Let’s start with the best matchup. From the AFC, it would have been the Los Angeles Chargers a few years ago, strictly because those uniforms would look stellar on the big stage. However, Jim Harbaugh has caused me too much trauma from his time with the 49ers, so I’ll pass. Instead, I’ll say the Buffalo Bills, who have yet to win a Super Bowl despite 4 consecutive appearances from 1991 to 1994. While that organization is a bit of a mess after firing their head coach, Sean McDermott, a few weeks ago, their fans are a special breed. Not only are they wild and crazy, but they have started their own trend of donating to charities in honor of players (Bills and opposing players) after wins and losses. My favorite was the fans making $17 dollar donations to Vision Impairment Advancement after the Bills lost in the playoffs in 2021. The charity, which focuses on helping those with vision loss, was a nod to the officials missing a few crucial pass interference calls. Amazing. Give these fans a Super Bowl, Buffalo!
Choosing an NFC opponent is a lot harder because there’s a lot more Packers trauma in this conference. I think I will go with the Washington Commanders. There are layers to this one. The first being that Dan Snyder was a terrible owner and human being and in his nearly 25 years of owning the team, they never made it to the Super Bowl. So seeing them get there just a few years after he was forced to sell would be hilarious, and they almost did last season! Also, Jayden Daniels was selected No. 2 overall in the 2024 NFL Draft, behind only Caleb Williams, who was drafted by the Chicago Bears. His playing in a Super Bowl before Williams would be another level of hilarity that I’m here for as a Packers fan.
TL;DR: Give me a Bills-Commanders Super Bowl with the Bills winning just so I can see what insane chaos their fanbase creates.
Now for my nightmare scenario. The AFC is the tougher one for this, because I don’t feel a ton of negativity for any AFC team. I could argue either the Patriots or the Chiefs because of fatigue, but that just brings out annoyance rather than anger. As of this moment, I think I have to go with the Denver Broncos. First of all, I don’t like Sean Payton. Never have. There are a handful of reasons, from “Bountygate” while he was with the New Orleans Saints to his conduct as the Broncos’ head coach. For example, Payton threatened to bench QB Russell Wilson, not because he stunk, which would have been valid, but so they could void an injury guarantee that was written into his contract. Listen, I’m not a Russell Wilson fan, but that’s just dirty. There are plenty of other controversies, including accusations of stealing painkillers during his time with the Saints, so I really would love to not see this man in another Super Bowl. In addition, I’m still super salty about the Packers’ loss to the Broncos earlier this season. That was the start of the team’s complete spiral to end the season, including losing Micah Parsons to a torn ACL. I was honestly happier to see the Patriots win the AFC Championship over the Broncos, even though I’m tired of seeing the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
For the NFC, I immediately turned to the NFC North. A division opponent in the Super Bowl would be excruciating. My first instinct was to pick the Chicago Bears, but after thinking about it, I’d be more upset deep down if it were the Detroit Lions. The Lions have never been to a Super Bowl, so I’d like to keep it that way. While I overall dislike the Bears more, especially as someone who grew up in the Chicago area, they’ve been to the Super Bowl twice and have a win under their belt. It would be more infuriating to me to have to watch the Lions finally get a ticket to the dance while the Packers would be sitting at home. Although, really, anyone in the NFC North would have me fuming in my seat.
However, picking a team in the NFC North does seem a little too easy, so my team outside of the division would be the Dallas Cowboys. I hate Jerry Jones for a lot of reasons, and I do not want that man getting the attention of being in the Super Bowl. On top of that, the Packers have had the Cowboys’ number for quite a few years and have never lost in AT&T Stadium, despite getting close this past season when they tied the Cowboys in overtime. Still not a loss, though!
I cannot imagine how much of a grump I would be if I had to watch the Broncos and Lions or the Cowboys in a Super Bowl. Because let’s be honest, I would absolutely still watch that game because at the end of the day, football is football and I’m a deranged sicko. As for who I would cheer to win? The meteor that crashes into Earth just before kickoff, I think. Or maybe Bane is doing an encore of that one scene from The Dark Knight Rises? Yeah, that one.
Well, now that I’ve gone ahead and made myself angry by inventing a scenario in my head, it’s your turn! Packers fans, what would be your dream and nightmare Super Bowl scenarios that don’t feature the Packers?
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