Well, we’re out, but that doesn’t mean we’re not still interested, and if you’re a Green Bay Packer fan, I think you should have some clear rooting interests in the remaining teams. The Packers have been around for so very long that they’ve had some kind of big moment, for good or ill, against almost everyone, especially in the NFC. And so, this weekend, you can safely be invested in basically every game. For instance:
Buffalo Bills at Denver Broncos, Saturday, 3:30 Central
Screw the Broncos, who defeated
the Packers in the 1997 Super Bowl, and who were the opponents for Green Bay in the most disastrous game of the 2025 season in which they lost Micah Parsons. It also kicked off their five-game losing streak to end the season. Now, the Broncos didn’t CAUSE the Micah Parsons injury to be fair, but in the cosmic balance, they’re also one of the absolute luckiest teams at avoiding injuries this year, which is annoying given that the Packers suffered like ten injuries in that game alone.
The Broncos’ defense is legit, but we’ve got some people starting to think that Bo Nix is actually a good quarterback, and I detest anything that stinks of QB Winz. Can’t have that. He’s fine, but that’s as far as anyone should go with praise of Bo Nix. And there’s just something that has always rubbed me the wrong way about John Elway, most likely the fact that he looks like a horse and played for the Broncos.
As for the Bills, I have no animosity whatsoever towards them. I’m not sure they have the Elways to get it done today as their offense is basically just Josh Allen and a bunch of nobodies, and the defense is pretty poor, but I feel a kinship with the (relatively) small town, cold-as-hell Bills. Plus, they gave us Don Beebe. What’s not to like?
Cheer for: Bills, easily.
San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks, Saturday, 7:00 Central
Outside of the NFC North, I’m not sure I hate any teams more than I hate the 49ers and Seahawks. I once would have put the Cowboys on this tier based on the Packers’ early 90s futility against the Aikman team, but that matchup really turned around after the Aikman era came to an end, and at least those Cowboys teams were all-time greats. One of the best offensive lines ever, Irvin, Charles Haley, Deion. Losing sucks, but at least they were awesome.
The 49ers, though? We’ve got the Rice fumble back in the day, that cost us a pretty legit shot at a title run, and then just recently, we have the stupid 2023 playoff game where Anders Carlson missed a 41-yarder after Matt LaFleur turtled, and of course the 2021 Division series game where Aaron Rodgers took an 11-yard sack with 5:29 left, followed immediately by the blocked Corey Bojorquez punt for a touchdown. It’s horrible!
But the Seahawks may be more horrible still! They were, as I’m sure I don’t need to remind you, on the other end of the biggest and most important collapse in franchise history in the 2014 NFC Championship Game, AND they were the winners of the Fail Mary contest.
This game is an abomination before god and we should cheer for a localized earthquake.
Cheer for: Meteor is too cliché, and I suppose earthquake is too. Cheer for quicksand finally becoming real?
Houston Texans at New England Patriots, Sunday, 2:00 Central
I understand that most everyone hates the Patriots, and I largely agree with this, but it’s a pretty low-level hatred. “Dynasty hatred” is mostly about having a big generic enemy to kill, and while the dominance of the Brady Patriots was annoying, I can’t get too mad about it. There are even a few upsides! For instance, all those Pats championships limited a bunch of even more annoying teams from accumulating championships, and it’s not like the Packers ever ran into them directly. In 2011, when the Packers and Pats seemed on an inevitable collision course, the Giants took everyone out. Screw the Giants, too.
Add in fact that the 1996 Super Bowl came at the expense of the Drew Bledsoe/Bill Parcells Patriots, and my hatred for the team is really pretty mild. HOWEVER, that said, it would be annoying if a potential new dynasty under a very good-looking Drake Maye kicked off immediately with yet another Pat’s Super Bowl. Only the Packers are supposed to continuously have great quarterbacks, everyone knows this. The Patriots trail the Packers 13-6 in overall titles, but another stupid dynasty could start to cut into that lead, and also people from Boston don’t deserve nice things, and should pay for inflicting Bill Simmons on us.
More than anything, there’s not really any good reason to have any feelings at all about the Houston Texans. They are as boring a franchise as there is, and this season they’re bringing an all-time great defense to the table. The offense? Well, let’s just not talk about that. But if you like defensive football, well this team is for you, and also you are boring.
Cheer for: Houston, but mostly against New England.
Los Angeles Rams at Chicago Bears, Sunday, 5:30 Central
Since you already know the answer, let us count the ways. The Bears are the historic rivals, they won two of three games this year in dramatic comeback fashion and probably should have won all three in dramatic comeback fashion. Every game was extremely painful to watch from the Packer side, including the win, which relied on excellent tape study from (checks notes) Keisean Nixon.
Most annoyingly the Bears seem more competently run than ever before, with a smart head coach who also seems to have the locker room in a good spot, and a front office that absolutely crushed their most recent draft, getting Ozzy Trapilo, Colston Loveland, Luther Burden, and Kyle Monangai. And they were effective in free agency, especially on the offensive line, where they turned a league-worst unit just two years ago into the best line in the league in 2025.
The Bears are scary now and in the future, and their fans are already acting too big for their britches about the whole thing. And so, we need the Rams to get it done this weekend. And among NFC teams, I’m not sure I hate any team less than the Rams! The Packers have actually been quite good against the McVay Rams of late, and the only really bad Rams memory I have is the Brett Favre meltdown in the 2001 playoffs, which was more about Brett than it was about the Rams.
Moreover, the Rams feature Packers great Davante Adams, who can help end all this Bear nonsense with a good game if he’s healthy. The Rams are also one of the only truly balanced teams remaining in the playoffs along with the Patriots. Everyone else has some weird flaw, but the Rams’ only issue seems to be “playing against the Panthers” which we’re now past. I wouldn’t be sad if Matthew Stafford and Davante got another ring, so let’s end Chicago and their terrible defense this weekend please?
Cheer for: The Rams, and for sadness in Chicago.
