It’s day 6 of the World Cup and there’s HUGE NEWS FROM THE VATICAN ABOUT THE SPORT:
THAT’S RIGHT WORLD, IT’S CALLED SOCCER. All the United States had to do was win four World Cups and then get a guy named Bob from Chicago to be elected the Bishop of Rome to make it official. Quick list of things the Papacy has outlived: the Roman, Pandyan, Ottoman, and Byzantine Empires; the sovereign rule of the British Monarchy (looking at you Henry VIII); Joey Chestnut’s longest winning streak at the Nathan’s Famous
Hot Dog Eating Contest; and we can now add to it “calling it football.”
There’s more soccer coming today starting with France vs. Senegal. This is a matchup that features France, who has made it to the last two World Cup finals and is France, and Senegal who Americans will be familiar with after losing 3-2 to the USA two weeks ago. They are in Group I for – I didn’t know there were so many groups in the World Cup.
That’s followed by the Vikings vs. the Lions as Norway takes on Iraq. This has the makings of a fun game. Erling Haaland will want to make his mark in his first World Cup match and Norway has the attacking power to find the goal several times while having the defensive liabilities to allow their opponents to do the same. Iraq is a disciplined team that lacks a true start, though that could be an advantage as it means there are 11 players going under the radar when they’re able to take their chances. That said, Norway is a sneaky good team and the Lions of Mesopotamia have their work cut out for them.
Argentina will then play Algeria as Group J for Jeez there are a bunch of groups this World Cup gets under way. La Albiceleste have brought 18 players back from four years ago and are a fairly known quantity – they want the ball, know what to do with the ball, and will string together 30 passes looking for space, weakness, stop for a yerba mate break, and patiently break down an opponent before suddenly being up 2-0. Algeria, on the other hand, has their own timeless wonder as Riyad Mahrez will look to capture the counter attacking magic that won the Premier League all those years ago. The key matchup here will be everyone who is visiting the United States being in Kansas City and Missouri at the same time somehow because naming stuff like this is how we actually won the Revolutionary War.
Finally, in Soccer after Dark Austria and Jordan face off in their first ever soccer meeting. It will be a meeting that likely features Jordan sitting deep in a defensive block and Austria hoping that Christoph Baumgartner can create something for Marko Arnautovic. Meanwhile, Jordan’s Messi Mousa Al-Tamari will try to break on the counter to provide the scoring threat for his side.
France vs Senegal (Group I)
Location: MetLife Stadium, New York, New Jersey, New Rutherford, Old Rutherford, USA
Kick-off time: 3 pm Eastern, 12 pm Pacific
TV and streaming: FOX, Telemundo, Peacock, FOX One, Fubo
Norway vs Iraq (Group I)
Location: Miami, Florida
Kick-off time: 6 pm Eastern, 3 pm Pacific
TV and streaming: FOX, Telemundo, Peacock, FOX One, Fubo
Argentina vs Algeria (Group J)
Location: Kansas City Stadium, Kansas City, Iowa, Westsylvania, Montana, Missouri, 39.0489 N and -94.4840 W
Kick-off time: 9 pm Eastern, 6 pm Pacific
TV and streaming: FOX, Telemundo, Peacock, FOX One, Fubo
Austria vs Jordan (Group J)
Location: Pants Stadium, Check the travel times – the 101 is shorter but there’s less traffic on 280 from San Francisco, California (formerly Mexico, once claimed by Russia), United States of America
Kick-off time: 12 am Eastern, 9 pm Pacific (game technically takes place tomorrow)
TV and streaming: FS1, Telemundo, Peacock, FOX One, Fubo
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