Sunday Morning Coming Down // Week 13

Ten Fourteen Eighteen B1G Things

A barn burner between Northwestern and Minnesota. Just like we all predicted.
Ryan Day really wanted that cover.
Maryland usually gives one of the big three a scare, but not this season!
It’s ok USC. At least you tried.
So did you Iowa, so did you.
Wisconsin’s revenge!
MMMMMM this gum tastes delicious!
Other west cost game.

The Rundown

Northwestern finally wins at Wrigley!

At first it looked like a very West type of game, then suddenly both teams decided to give the defense the rest of the afternoon off, and couldn’t stop each other. It was actually one of those “last team with

the ball wins.” Minnesota was the team.

LincolnParkWildcat: So we wore our gothic unis today, and in classic OTE fashion I didn’t watch the game. I was out buying a Christmas tree with my family at the suburban pumpkin patch I go to, and I was checking my phone from time to time. I tried to watch the game at a nice Irish pub with my family, but alas, they didn’t have a tv package with the game. As my wife was driving home, I saw the game was tied, and I was like shit shit shit, hopefully we can win a fucking game at my ballpark, AND THIS HAD BETTER BE THE LAST FUCKING GAME THERE. Just as I got in the door, right after I put YouTube kids on my tablet for my son, I went downstairs, turned on the tv, and Minnesota was wide right!! We finally won a goddamn game at Wrigley!!!!
Phew.
(Time to look at stats on Apple Sports or ESPN)
It looks like we won the battle of time of possession, out rushed the Goofballs by a fair margin. Preston Stone was 25 / 30 for 305 yards for two touchdowns, one to Komolafe and one to Eligon.
Komolafe and Himon combined for 176 yards on the ground and a touchdown each.
Sorry PEEJ, not today.
It looks like we’re going bowling, perhaps to the Pizza Pizza bowl in Detroit (I just made this up)
A win is always good. Especially against the Vile Gopher Menace, which always needs to be kept down. ‘‘Tis a heavy burden.
OH AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SCHEDULE ANY MORE GAMES OUTSIDE OF RYAN FIELD!!!
I mean, what, the Ryan family found like a billion dollars in their couch cushions for the new stadium? Just play the game at home.
Now, next week, it is time to reclaim the HAT from the sinister clutches of the vile smelly fat man in Chambana.

Narrator: Good “writer”!

BigRed_Twice: Fat people are not inherently smelly. That is kind of mean.

Narrator: Can confirm.

LincolnParkWildcat: But this is Bret bielema we are talking about. And I like to up the shtick when talking about the :tophat:, the fighting Illini, and :tophat: week in general. Like so: Our poor :tophat: is suffering, neglected and collecting dust in the shabby office of the villainous, gluttonous, malodorous, somewhat competent at coaching football and all around dastardly fiend Bret Bielema in pumpkin head HQ down in the cornfields near Chambana. We need to liberate the :tophat: and bring it home safely to Evanston*

MinnesotaWildcat: PJ stood and grimaced, sprinted up and down the sideline, and then mismanaged the clock like it was his job. Because at the end of the day, Glen Mason’s best bowl win was the Sun Bowl, PJ’s is the Outback, and water finds its level.

What bums me out is that my parents drove to Chicago for this one, took the train by themselves from Evanston to Wrigley (enough of an accomplishment for them, okay?), and really seemed to enjoy traveling for their Gophers.

What really tickles me, though, is that I was nearly forced to relive Vikings-Bears, when Noted Draft Bust JJ McCarthy finally helped score an offensive touchdown to take the lead with :50 to go, then the Bears brought the kick back 57 yards to set up a late, game-winning field goal. It was all set to happen again. And then Minnesota remembered they were Minnesota.

The two minutes the various KFAN shows will devote to this game on Monday before getting back to analyzing a third-string Vikings defensive end will be more than worth it.

Allowing Preston Stone to become Northwestern’s first 300 yard passer in something like 32 games is a work of art. A bowl game for the ‘Cats despite repeatedly kicking off to Koi Perich, showing little interest in pass defense for swaths of the game, and still being mediocre in the red zone. 38-35. Amazing.

You can imagine that the one OTE picker who called this in our season predictions is feeling rather smug right now. And as that one idiot, I can confirm that you are right.

Now, let’s never play a game in Wrigley ever again.

PS: congratulations to longtime Northwestern University Wildcat Marching Band director Mr. Daniel J. Farris, who conducted his last regular-season game ahead of his stepping down at the end of the season. And here you thought the March of the Steelmen would be your last show. Thanks for never actually making me audition to play sousa and just letting me do it instead. Enjoy whatever comes next, Farris.

WhiteSpeedReceiver: The two people who are best at beating the Gophers are Kirk Ferentz and PJ Fleck.

Ohio State did the thing. Again

Rutgers was the victim.

MaximumSam: The Buckeyes started a walk on at receiver and randomly switched the quarterbacks for no apparent reason. Maybe he’s just trying to keep the guys interested? Oh well, didn’t matter.

It’s not September. Part 9

Normally Maryland makes one of the former East trio sweat for a little bit (just kidding it’s only Ohio State and Michigan they do that to), but this one was over from the jump.

Though one does wonder, now that Franklin is gone, is Maryland actually going to put a scare on Penn State moving forward?

Brian Gillis: Michigan rolled over Maryland in its final tune-up for Ohio State.

The Terps found the end zone on their first and last possessions, but in between Michigan outscored the home team 45-6.

It was Michigan’s most dominant performance since a week three walkover against Central Michigan. But it wasn’t all good news for the Wolverines, as Max Bredeson finished the game in civies and on crutches. If Bredeson can’t play next week, it will be a major blow to Wolverines.

By dispatching Maryland, Michigan completed its preseason with a 9-2 record.

Up next: The Game

Rockymtnblue: I saw the first 48 minutes of this game. It was by far the best day for Underwood and the offense. I’ve seen Maryland play this year and there’s a certain amount of fools gold there, but at least we lit up a team you’re supposed to light up. 12/14 on third down. Yes please.

The defense, on the other hand, was a little worrisome. The counting stats were good, holding Maryland to about 275 yards and 13 points through 48 minutes, but if you saw the game you saw all the dropped passes, and all the wide open receivers that Malik Washington simply missed. OSU is gonna hang 600yds on this defense.

On the injury front, Michigan got a few guys back on defense, at least for part-time play, which was great to see. But Max Bredeson was on crutches in the 2nd half. He’s not a name you see in the box score, but he’s the best blocking fullback at Michigan in 50 years. I’m an old Michigan fan so you know this is not a statement made lightly. His loss next week against Ohio State will be conspicuous.

Oregon becomes biggest Michigan fans.

The Trojans didn’t play poorly, per se, they just, maybe, got too accustomed to the Big Ten West foes they’d been playing for the past couple of weeks, and maybe forgot that teams with offenses don’t need 37 minutes to score a field goal.

Iowa and 8-4. Name a more iconic duo.

Once again, everyone with a pulse has been beating Michigan State by multiple scores. But the two Westiest teams that ever Wested decided that barely getting by the Spartans was good enough I guess.

Wisconsin has four wins. Two are against ranked teams.

But hey, Illinois already has bowl eligibility locked up, so they know they won’t follow their good season with a 5-7 season.

thumpasaurus: i will always be thankful to bret bielema for 2022, 2024 and parts of the other years. we’ve never seen a coach win this many in the first five years. it’s going to be a shame when we have to fire him because he refuses to keep up with the competition.

thumpasaurus: [30 minutes later] See you motherfuckers in detroit

HoustonBoiler: It was a bye week and I fulfilled my contractual obligations. That said, I checked the scores occasionally on my phone and laughed at Illinois.

Mrs. HB and I did binge both seasons of the Mistletoe Murders.

thumpasaurus: well, now you lost to wisconsin and a team that lost to wisconsin

He Was A High School QB: This was last year Minnesota all over again. Heavy road favorite and we played like we really didn’t want to be there.

The descent is starting to feel nice, isn’t it?

The gum tip was great!

You wouldn’t get it.

BigRed_Twice: I was traveling all day Saturday, so didn’t watch any games (best writer!), including Nebraska’s. Judging by the score, that was probably a great choice! At least my picks proved I had their number. Small consolation.

Nebraska volleyball clinched the Big Ten title, unshared, tonight. There are still two more matches in the regular season. At least I have volleyball.