Letters… we get letters… we get stacks and stacks of letters…
Question from WestEndMayhem:
With Vanderbilt Football now ranked higher in the AP poll compared to Vandy academics in US News and World Report, has Zeppos metamorphosed into a flaming ball of hatred and plasma?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: Haven’t we all pretty much decided that US News and World Report is crap anyway? Does the magazine even exist for any other reason than to publish academic rankings of universities? Anyway, Zeppos probably isn’t mad that the football team is good.
I assume he’s mad that he had to learn who this “Theo Von” person is, though in his defense, I am also mad about that.
PatrickSawyer: He probably combusted when Vanderbilt alums used their law degrees to get Pavia more elibility [editor’s note: clearly Patrick meant “Eli Manning Ability” here]. Then, when he heard about a ~$2M NIL deal and saw all the transfers, his fire burned so hot it consumed the fuel and suffocated itself faster than Vanderbilt ruined Virginia Tech and South Carolina’s seasons.
Note: Add soccer to Andrew’s list of sports that got ranked higher than the USNWR ranking for the university.
Cole Sullivan: He is definitely more worried about the contract from the Trump Administration sitting on Danny D’s desk right now. Chancellor-Emperor Darth Diermeier is likely licking his lips at the chance to sign an NIL deal of his own with the United States.
*Also, sorry for missing last week, but I finally have WordPress 100% figured out (and my account set up correctly).
Andrew VU ‘04: I never thought I’d live to see the day where our football poll ranking beat our US News and World Report ranking. Of course, when I was in college, I never thought I’d live to see the day when that was true in baseball. Or that Cole would have figured out how to set up his WordPress account correctly. The literal only sports I thought it could happen were Men’s and Women’s Shooty Hoops. If I’m not wrong, now all of those sports have hit that mark at least once in my lifetime. As has Women’s Bowling, Women’s Tennis, and… umm… JV Jai Alai? Hail Pinman.
Also, Zeppo, while arguably the least of the Marx Brothers, was still an integral part to the team, as he played the straight man to all of Groucho’s, Harpo’s, and Chico’s wacky hijinks. Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the brave and free!!!
Question from WestEndMayhem:
1: Seems that penalties and secondary play are our two biggest weaknesses this season. Is that something coaching can fix in one week?
2: HAHAHAHA BIG GAME JAMES DOES IT AGAIN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY MORE PENN STATE SNAKE OIL SIRS??
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: The sudden spate of penalties is weird. I don’t really get it. I haven’t noticed the secondary being particularly bad; Utah State scored five touchdowns but two were helped by some real bullshit penalties and two were against, like, the third-string defense.
And yes, it is deeply hilarious that James Franklin is exactly what he was at Vanderbilt (consistently beats the Kentuckys of the world, consistently shits the bed against actual good teams.) Remember when Franklin got his ass handed to him by Johnny Manziel? Yeah, that was nothing if not predictable that he’d also do that at Penn State.
PatrickSawyer: If there are weakpoints in this team, those are the ones. The penalties have been … curious to say the least. The game at VT felt slanted against the Commodores as did last Saturday’s officiating. There are certainly things to clean up, but too many of the calls, especially in those 2 games, were soft or downright wrong. The secondary is much improved but still easier to exploit than the run defense. The key will be whether the pass rush can generate pressure to keep the throws quick and give the secondary and linebackers a chance to tackle receivers quick.
What a shame to see CJF and [redacted] State get the football pulled again.
Cole Sullivan: What if it’s all an inside job by Sankey? He’s been paying off refs to throw a few extra flags all season so when we play Bama, the announcers just remark “Well, they’ve been playing nessy ball all season long,” and carry on? I’m just sayin’! Really though, I am not too worried. We are better than we were last year, when we beat Bama with these same issues. Our offense is by some measures the best in the country, and if we have to make it a shootout, I trust we can come out on top.
Andrew VU ‘04: The secondary will not be fixed in one week. The penalties? Well, the actual ones we committed can be dealt with and cleaned up, but short of Zeppos declaring out and out war on all zebras, how the hell do we fix the obvious thumbs pressed down on the scale no matter who we play? Honestly, I’m asking. Someone figure this out. It sure as hell won’t be those goobers in Hoover.
As for The Old Bald Poach?
Question from ask_thedoctor:
What’s your bigger concern: how many points Utah State scored or our uncomfortably high number of penalties per game?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: The number of points Utah State scored doesn’t concern me too much. Two touchdowns came from drives extended by, uh, stupid penalties and those last two were in garbage time. I’m not saying it’s as simple as “take all that away and they would have only scored seven points,” but they wouldn’t have scored 35 is the point.
Yeah, it’s the penalties.
PatrickSawyer: Neither overly concerns me, but I will say penalties since they are somewhat out of the team’s. There are some details to clean up, but the fact that Vanderbilt is still being shafted by SEC crews when they are ranked is baffling. Before, I figured the F Vandy Rules were best for the conference. They are not now yet are still being enforced.
Cole Sullivan: Penalties. I don’t think Utah State scores as much as they do without penalty help.
Andrew VU ‘04: Oh that’s door #2 no doubt. Again, if you have any suggestions on how to fix obvious corruption, give them our way… and then also to The Supreme Court, and pretty much our entire Federal Government. Also Orwell’s “The Party.”
Question from kslaught:
the offense has looked about as good as we could hope for so far this year, how concerned should we be about the defense, especially with only SEC games left?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: As long as the offense is putting up points, I’m not concerned about the defense.
PatrickSawyer: Medium to medium low concern. The offense is going to give Vanderbilt a chance in every game. The defense just needs to keep games close and come up with a few stops to either seal games or get the offense the ball back after a rare stop.
Cole Sullivan: Our defense is not even bad, they’re just fine. We can work with fine, as long as our offense remains excellent.
Andrew VU ‘04: Is this a Het-O-Meter Request? I’m taking it as a Het-O-Meter Request on the defense.
Question from VU1970:
Was Vandy’s defense against Utah State designed to sucker punch Alabama? At what point will the stadium be obviously emptying out this week?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: You mean are we preparing to light up Alabama’s punter? Because I guess that would count as a “sucker punch.”
PatrickSawyer: The first question does not really make sense. Vanderbilt’s defense was designed to stop or slow down Utah State. If there are similarities in meetings and calls, it is mostly coincidence. This team is designed to win games one at a time with no thought to the future until the game is over.
I’m not touching that last question because I have seen Alabama fans leave early because they were killing us, just like our fans did for Georgia State and Utah State.
Cole Sullivan: Every week the goal is to go 1-0. We did not trot out the same defense we will play against Bama, as a matter of fact we more likely showed something different than we’ll be playing this weekend. As for when the stadium empties, I don’t know that it will until deep in the fourth. I am under no illusions (fact check: I have been, an, and will always be under illusions when it comes to Vanderbilt Athletics) that we are going to dominate Alabama. It will be a close game (we will win by 17) and fans will stay until the clock hits zeroes (sometime a little after we run a kickoff back in the third).
Andrew VU ‘04: No. That was not gamesmanship at all. That was a defensive squad who faced a pretty good QB, but also were so confident in our offense, they didn’t always give maximum effort. It happens. If our trap game efforts are still 20 point victories, I can handle those bees in my trap. Bees bees in my trap.
Question from VUOffspring:
Does the college game day decision to park itself in Tuscaloosa for the Commodores- Crimson Tide game mean that the Pavia Heisman candidacy has begun in earnest?
And if Pavia does win the Heisman this year, can we rename the award the McGuigan Trophy — since McGuigan had a better record than Heisman anyway!
Not to mention, he was a better man!
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: Well, I don’t think the GameDay decision to park itself in Tuscaloosa does that. I do think that making Theo Von the guest picker does. Again, I am angry that I have had to learn who this person is. You might as well make me go learn who Mr. Beast is. (Note: I read the Wikipedia article on Mr. Beast and, like, seriously: what the fuck is wrong with you people?)
PatrickSawyer: I refuse to answer your question since you spelled McGugin wrong.
(Editor’s note: All hail the Mandator.)
Cole Sullivan: I was going to say what Patrick said. Since he already said it, I will just say I think it’s hilarious that Theo Von, our celebrity fan, will be the first ever guest picker to choose the away team on GameDay, especially in Tuscaloosa. What a world, man.
Andrew VU ‘04: The Diego for Heisman campaign began in earnest with his winning another year of eligibility in the courts. Pretty much everyone has him in their top 10 now, with a good number of people putting him in the top 5. He’s my pick, and that’s for damned sure… but as for my ability to vote on such things…
Question(s) from ConquerAndPrevail, parlagi, & Your Uncle Mike:
ESPN College Gameday at Tuscaloosa. Does this mean Our Broadcast Partners believe the Vanderbilt story ends Saturday? And if so, are they wrong?
&
Corollary: Will any Alabama fans think to carry a “You Vanderbilt Fans Are Blocking the Library” sign?
&
And does Alabama even have a library?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: I think this is all just about making Alabama fans as pissed off as possible. According to them, the entire media is picking Vanderbilt to win (hint: they’re not) and hell, Tennessee and Auburn fans on Twitter want Alabama to win.
As far as Alabama having a library, I assume that there is one in the state of Alabama. Not too many, though.
PatrickSawyer: I think ESPN views this game as the revenge game for one of the biggest stories of the 2024 season, thus it is a huge story for 2025. Vanderbilt being ranked high and undefeated is a bonus.
No, Bama fans are not that smart. They will not be able to pull out a joke from 2008.
Steve Spurrier made a library joke about Auburn because, while it was mostly coloring, it existed. No one has even joked about Alabama’s library.
Cole Sullivan: This game is at the center of some really big narratives. Not only the narrative of both teams individually, Vandy rising and Bama in retrograde, or even the fact that a pair of Heisman frontrunner quarterbacks will be facing off. This is about how the entire sport of college football is in a period of uncertain change, the traditional powers threatened by the transfer-heavy, moneyed up-and-comers. This game is a big deal, for a lot of reasons.
Andrew VU ‘04: When I worked at LSU, the Library was so infested with mold, it effectively had to be condemned for a bit. At precisely that moment, the football team spent tens of millions on new locker rooms. There were multiple newspaper articles about it, and LSU’s powers that be could not have given less of a shit. If Ramajama has a library, there’s a very good chance fewer than half of their undergrads can tell you where it is, and the half that can is only because they’ve had sex in the Stacks.
Question from Jrdore:
How much money will it take to keep our all our coaches ? They are coming for Beck and Gregory. Can there be such a thing as loyalty and financial security here at Vandy ?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: Have you met Vandy? Actually the usual problem is that we can’t make them leave, so it’s nice for a change to have people we’re worried about leaving.
PatrickSawyer: The number might be high, but I think Lea, Kill, and CSL are on the same page here. Gregory is probably going to get less attention, but Beck seems very loyal to Kill. At 59, I am not sure what Beck’s career goals are. He has never been a HC, so it would surprise me if he really wants to be one now.
Cole Sullivan: Lea would coach this team for free. Also, under Diermeier, we effectively have an infinite budget. I am not worried about keeping anyone as long as we keep winning, and if we start losing, well we probably want to get rid of people anyways.
Andrew VU ‘04: Vanderbilt money printer go brrrrrrr.
Question from NovaDore:
Is Pavia’s singing with his arm around Alyssa Lang his Heisman moment?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: What is this “Heisman moment” you speak of?
PatrickSawyer: No, but it will be in the montage. There will be a play against Alabama, LSU, or Texas that is “the Heisman moment,” but he has had a number of elite moments to set himself up for those situations.
Cole Sullivan: Not sure that’s what a Heisman Moment is. Hopefully we see his true Heisman Moment against Alabama (and next year we see him singing with his arm around Mr. Commodore in the Heisman House).
Andrew VU ‘04: No. I would imagine said moments would involve touchdowns. And throwing goal posts into the Cumberland.
Question from Jrdore:
if Diego doesn’t go pro , should Vandy hire him as qb coach, offensive coordinator asst , and recruiter to promote him after Tim beck retires or leaves ?
Answers from AoG:
Tom Stephenson: I don’t know, he seems to be carving out a career in sports talk radio. Except not sports talk radio, more like “podcasts consisting of two dudes with stupid hats and weird haircuts saying bro a lot.”
PatrickSawyer: Pavia does not seem like a scheme mastermind. He is elite at running it, but I am not sure if his “backyard football” style fits moving into coaching, nor do I think he realizes how hard what he is doing is. To him, it is just another obstacle.
Cole Sullivan: Sometimes the best doers are the worst teachers, because it comes so naturally to them. With that said, I do think he’ll go into coaching at some level. He obviously understands football at a high level, it will just be interesting to see how that translates to other aspects of the sport.
Andrew VU ‘04: No. Are you literally telling me you would replace anyone from the Beck/Marry/Kill offensive coaching pipeline we’ve got on staff right now???
Also, Diego will be playing for Vanderbilt until he’s as old as Scott Bakula when he played for the Texas State University Fightin’ Armadillos. Perhaps until he’s bitten by Count Bakula and becomes an unholy immortal creature of the night. We will have to avoid day games, of course, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice.
