When the offseason rolls around, the internet starts doing some wild things. People get bored. They spend a little too much time in the trade machine. The results can be nothing short of horrifying. Practical thought leaves the body like a soul departing, and what we’re left with are some truly ridiculous trades.
That’s part of the offseason’s oversaturation. Podcasts need topics, national outlets need content, and fans want something to debate. Everybody starts trying to justify bad ideas in the name
of conversation.
Mission accomplished, I guess. Because I’m here to take a look at a cpuple of the absolutely absurd trade proposals floating around recently. And these aren’t coming from your local podcast. This isn’t me hopping on Suns JAM Session and tossing out a random hypothetical. No, these are from major national media outlets, and some of them are downright comical.
So let’s go ahead and take a look at a few of the more ridiculous trade ideas making the rounds.
ESPN: Suns trade for Ja Morant
This one comes to us from ESPN, who put together six trades exploring where Ja Morant could ultimately land.
This is a beautifully ridiculous trade.
The Suns would give up four players and two picks for Morant, and I’ve already expressed numerous times how I feel about him as a potential member of the Phoenix Suns. His addition goes against everything Phoenix tried to build this past season, and once you factor in the availability concerns and missed games, it becomes even harder to justify.
What might be the most absurd part of the entire thing, though, is what Bobby Marks notes:
The Suns overachieved last season, and they now are faced with the choice of relying on the same roster or making an aggressive trade for a player such as Morant. Because the Suns would be taking back more salary in the trade, it would hard cap them at the first apron. The restriction could put them in a position to lose free agents Collin Gillespie, Mark Williams and Jordan Goodwin.
So by this logic, the Suns would add Ja Morant to pair in the backcourt with Devin Booker. Jalen Green would still be on the roster, too, meaning three-guard lineups become the norm. Yay!
And that’s where this thing really starts to fall apart. Phoenix would not only be hard-capping itself, but they’d also be knee-capping themselves when it comes to depth. They wouldn’t be able to go over the first apron at $209 million, so once again you’re piecing together the bench with a collection of veteran minimum players and hoping it works.
The viability of bringing back Gillespie, Goodwin, and/or Williams is practically out the window. Booker, Green, and Morant would account for $125.6 million of your cap, which is 76% of it. Oh, and you’re still giving up draft capital to make it happen, which chips away at your future flexibility too.
I’m sorry, this trade is completely unrealistic. It feels like an NBA 2K trade, where you jam assets together until it works for one side and completely ignore what it does to the other.
Vecenie: Malauch to the Hornets
A lot less inflammatory, still not rooted in reality, comes a suggestion from The Athletic’s Sam Vecenie, in which the Phoenix Suns would send out Grayson Allen and Khaman Maluach for Miles Bridges and Ryan Kalkbrenner, or the 18th overall pick.
My first thought when I see a trade like this is simple. Why would Phoenix want to do it?
This feels like something that benefits the Charlotte Hornets far more than the Suns. Charlotte gets more three-point shooting and, depending on how you view the prospects, arguably gets the better young center than the one they selected 34th overall a season ago.
And to be clear, I’m a fan of Kalkbrenner. I did a ton of research on him as a draft prospect last year when Phoenix owned the 29th pick. I thought he made a lot of sense at the time. He had a solid rookie season on a team that gave real opportunities to its young players.
That still doesn’t answer the bigger question. Why would you give up on Maluach this early in his career? And why bring in Bridges, another undersized power forward, on a roster that already needs to prioritize minutes for sophomore Rasheer Fleming?
Then there’s the pick. If the return is No. 18 overall, that’s not much of a trade-off. You’re essentially flipping Maluach, who was taken 10th overall a year ago, for the 18th pick. That’s hard to justify.
This one feels like creating a trade for the sake of creating a trade, then working backwards trying to make it sound reasonable.
I’m still waiting for one of the national pundits to cook up something that feels relevant, realistic, or at the very least includes Jalen Green. Because, quite honestly, he’s the biggest trade chip the Phoenix Suns possess right now. If Phoenix can somehow flip him into something that genuinely helps move the organization forward, whether that’s players, picks, or some combination of both, that’s the route I’d explore. At least from my perspective.
Until then, we watch and wait. That’s the offseason. Everybody starts throwing ideas at the wall, hoping one sticks. National outlets keep the content machine moving. Fans debate every hypothetical like it’s already on the transaction wire.
My guess? None of these mock trades happen. Phoenix has been pretty transparent about wanting to stay measured this summer, and the organization doesn’t feel like a team gearing up for a splashy offseason. Sometimes, the loudest part of the offseason is the internet. The actual moves tend to be a lot quieter.
