Three games on the trot, and Tottenham Hotspur are flying! That said, there are some caveats here — two of those wins came against opponents who were down to ten men. I think that means that we should just get an opposition player sent off in every match. What Tottenham fan would complain about that?
A fun and comfortable win to be sure, and the players do appear to be rounding into something resembling form. Tottenham are up to eighth in the table now, four points out of fourth place. That feels
pretty good after all the angst of the first six games of the season. And also Spurs successfully broke down a bunkered defense, even if they did have an extra player. That’s pretty, pretty good.
I can’t believe I haven’t done this theme, but I got to thinking about Crystal Palace and how they’re named for the area where the original Crystal Palace building was constructed. I’m not a fan of the football club, but the history of the original Crystal Palace is really interesting, and that got me thinking about glass houses.
So a few days after Tottenham defeated Crystal Palace, let’s rate the victorious Tottenham players to the theme of other “crystal” “palaces” throughout history.
5 stars: Crystal Palace, London (1851)
There are a lot of cool glass buildings in the world right now but it’s hard to overlook the OG. Built for the 1851 Great Exhibition, it’s hard to conceive how impressive this plate glass and iron structure would’ve been at the time. In fact, it was ahead of its time. Destroyed by fire in 1936, it blew the doors off of what could be done with glass and natural light, inspired a number of copycat structures around the world and set the stage for today’s modern skyscrapers. Yes, it was also what inspired the name of the Hyde Park area which also then inspired the name of that football club, but nobody’s perfect.
Sandro Tonali (Community – 4.5): My man of the match. I said last week I’m finally starting to see what De Zerbi sees in him, and I’ll say it here too. Game state played a huge role, but he was everywhere in midfield breaking up play and was first to almost every ball. Magnificent.
4.5 stars: Louvre Pyramid (1989)
Once upon a time the Louvre museum in Paris got too big to accommodate all of its visitors at its entrances, so an architect artist was commissioned to create a new entrance. The glass pyramid, through which visitors now enter the museum, has since become iconic, a feature and reason to visit the museum in and of itself.
Jan Paul van Hecke (Community – 4.5): Apparently his goal was the first headed goal scored from a seating position in Premier League history. It’s hard to really parse out what this match meant when Spurs were playing against 10 men but once again his distribution and passing from deep was fantastic.
Mateus Fernandes (Community – 4.0): In his second start alongside Tonali, and given plenty of space in which to operate, Mateush could pick and choose his passes and performed really, really well. Don’t see how he’s dropped except as a precaution. Sorry, Lolo.
4 stars: National Grand Theater, Beijing
Colloquially referred to as “The Egg” especially when viewed from across the water where you can get a perfect reflection of the structure, it’s the largest theater complex in Asia. Sure, only half of the glass structure you can actually see through from the outside, but it’s nonetheless a spectacular glass building.
Micky van de Ven (Community – 4.0): In a chat room in which we’re both a part of, Michael Caley said that, if JPVH was the “quarterback” of Spurs’ back line, Micky was the “free safety,” buzzing around mopping up anything that close to Spurs’ box. Can’t disagree in the slightest.
Mathys Tel (Community – 4.0): Again full of vim and vigor going forward, and again just a touch wasteful with his final ball. But you see it now. It’s there. He’s got the “stuff,” he just needs to polish it. I’m still a Tel-iever.
Pedro Porro (Community – 4.0): Had tons of space on the ball and his passing and skill set were exactly what was needed against a fully bunkered Palace defense.
3.5 stars: “Glass Houses,” Billy Joel
Widely considered to be Billy Joel’s second best album (behind The Stranger), it’s the closest Joel ever got to actually doing a rock & roll album. Anchored by “It’s Still Rock & Roll to Me,” it’s a good album though gun to my head I think I still prefer “An Innocent Man.”
Archie Gray (Community – 4.0): Picked up a stupid yellow and redeemed himself with a wide-open back post headed goal to put Spurs ahead. Did fine! No complaints! Subbed off at halftime to make sure he didn’t pick up a second card.
Andy Robertson (Community – 4.0): Again didn’t have a whole lot of pressure on him due to game state and a bunkered defense, but his delivery was solid and he was good on both sides of the pitch.
Mohammed Kudus (Community – 4.0): Another game in which his strength and hold-up play were on full display. Used his fitness and strength to bully Palace’s defenders, but was again wasteful going forward and he gets a half star removed for missing that Luca Williams-Barnett cross to the back post. He continues to be the most frustrating player to watch on this team.
Roberto De Zerbi (Community – 4.5): Hard to really evaluate the manager after a match with an 11th minute red card, but Spurs did do well breaking down a stubborn defensive effort by Palace.
3 stars: Greenhouse
Sure, it’s humble and small, but greenhouses were a revolution in food production. You can find precursors to the glass greenhouse in the Roman Empire, ancient Korea, and various European countries in the 17th and 18th centuries. It wasn’t until the 19th century when people hit upon glass as a means to create “hothouses” for the propagation and growth of plants, even in the winter, and today greenhouses are standard all over. They’re great, and you don’t have to be grandiose to have a glass building that’s meaningful.
Antonin Kinsky (Community – 3.5): He might as well have been back in goal scrolling TikTok on his phone for all the work he had to do on Saturday.
Omar Marmoush (Community – 3.0): He’s a pretty fantastic presser and a wonderful defensive striker, but would it kill him to shoot the ball in the net a few times?
Conor Gallagher (Community – 3.5): Not who I would’ve chosen to pick a Palace lock in this match, but in Maddison’s absence his energy and motor meant he could run around and drag defenders out of position, which was useful. Had one decent look at goal which was saved.
Destiny Udogie (Community – 3.5): A second half sub, his first minutes since returning from injury. Nothing particularly notable good or bad, which in this context is fine.
Dejan Kulusevski (Community – 3.5): I know people want to give him five stars just because he was there, but he’s fine for where he is right now. Showed a couple of moments of real burst going forward, which is super encouraging. And one great shot that was saved (well) by Henderson.
2.5 stars: The Gherkin
I really tried to stay away from skyscrapers in this rating theme because most of them are mostly glass, and most of them are also boring. London’s 30 St. Mary Axe, known as the Swiss Re Building and affectionately called as “the Gherkin,” is certainly not boring. Along with the Shard, it’s one of the unique buildings in London’s skyline and it’s hard not to pick it out when you’re there. Yes, it does kinda look like a gherkin, but I gotta be honest and say there’s a lot more in common with… uh, a specific part of the male anatomy than a giant pickle.
Dominic Solanke (Community – 3.0): “What is it that you say you… DO here?”
2 stars: New York Crystal Palace (1853)
In another example of Americans copying something the Brits did first — like most of American television for example — the New York Crystal Palace was completed in 1853 for the Exhibition of the Industry of All Nations in New York City. Obviously it was directly inspired by the original Crystal Palace in Hyde Park in London. It was also five times smaller than the London Palace, and like the original it also burned to the ground in 1858 after only five years in operation. USA! USA! USA!
Just filling out the categories.
1 star: Abandoned NHL billionaire’s glass mansion (1983)
Glass houses famously are susceptible to thrown stones, but apparently they’re also prone to hubris. Like this mansion, built in 1983 for an (unknown) sports executive and former NHL team owner. At 20,000 square feet on 20 acres, it’s certainly pretty spectacular, or would be if it hadn’t been abandoned around 2020 because the house started falling apart. It’s now completely abandoned, and therefore ripe for urban explorers like in the above video.
No Tottenham players were as bad as an abandoned sports executive glass McMansion.
Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating
Luca Williams-Barnett
