The ‘irresistible force paradox’ shall now be known as the ‘Brian Brobbey paradox’… well, at least when he’s fit. For he is the unstoppable force (when fit), he is the immovable object (when fit), and somehow, it came to pass that they can actually coexist. There are now two Brian Brobbeys, and when they clash, a third Brian is born. Tres Brian Brobbeys.
We now have a front three of Brian Brobbeys, who wreak devastation and destruction wherever they tread. Centre-halves are left flattened, their bodies
engraved in pitches across the country and Europe, one waves Gabriel’s head on a spike, another walks Virgil van Dijk on a lead, while the third wears Dan Burn like a backpack.
Of course, the enemy of Brian Brobbey is Brian Brobbey himself. He can implode from time to time, like his hamstring decided to during the Netherlands game with Germany on Thursday.
“It was a good battle, but in the end, I won,” Sunderland’s centre-forward said of his match-up with Burn during our win at St James’ Park last season. How noble of you, Brian, and a far better man than I. Does he ever get bored of lying to journalists? Can he just come out and say, “Well, that was easy”? Because, when it’s not his own hamstrings involved, has he ever finished a game second-best?
After his emphatic display against Manchester City, where he netted Sunderland’s first top-flight hat-trick in over a decade, the clamour for our barrelling goalscorer has reached new levels, but anyone who has been watching our one-of-a-kind striker with any remote interest will know this is nothing new.
Where have you been? Brianvenue! No, but seriously, you poor thing, this is like only just finding out about Wi-Fi. You were doing football wrong up until this point. All of us Sunderland fans, we knew, and we bloody told you.
What is an exciting prospect for us, and a petrifying thought for the opposition, is we are yet to see Brobbey at his best. He is yet to finish growing, his muscle is still forming, his football brain is still developing, and those around him have yet to utilise him to his full potential.
Hold-up play is only as good as the movement off the ball, and Brobbey’s is the best in the league. Scrap that, the best in the world. But he often cuts a painfully isolated figure when leading the line.
When he holds that ball up, it is often eventually either swept up by an opposition player or laid off to Thomas Meunier, who, for all his quality and experience, doesn’t quite have that attacking flair. That obligation falls on the likes of Nilson Angulo, Enzo Le Fée and Malick Fofana, who have to display that clinical edge.
It’s not just those around him, but Brobbey himself who can, and shall, improve. There is still a rawness to his game. He is yet to completely grasp a poacher’s instinct. We saw it in glimpses last season, and then in all its glory at the Etihad last Sunday, but it is now about consistency.
Ultimately, consistency is what separates the good strikers from the great, the £50 million men from the £100 million match-winners.
What is for certain is that Brobbey is a man for the big occasion. The Netherlands international has netted 10 goals since joining from Ajax last term. Of those 10, one was an acrobatic last-minute equaliser against Arsenal, another was a last-gasp winner away at Newcastle, as well as decisive goals against Crystal Palace and Bournemouth.
Granit Xhaka famously announced to us all that this was “just the beginning” when European football was secured last season, and while he meant it for us as a club, it has certainly resonated with our Brian.
Of course, while the sight of him trudging off clutching his hamstring having turned out for the Netherlands in midweek has left us all concerned, his injury fate is, as yet, undetermined. I guess all we can do now is collectively pray that it is no more than cramp à la his cramp-inspired celebration last season. Wishful thinking, I know.
