The NBA is a mysterious, dynamic, and, well, ridiculous. Here I sit in front of my laptop, considering the implications of the worst teams that professional basketball has to offer. This is the Great Tank
Race: a push to become the most undesirable franchise in all of basketball for the mere chance of securing the best lottery odds and drafting one of the tantalizing youngsters at the top of the 2026 NBA Draft Class.
Many of these teams are familiar faces for those experienced in these trenches. We’ll certainly see Sacramento back at the 25-year reunion. Washington is on the Christmas card list of many.
But the tank race isn’t about making friends. It’s not about pairing misery with company. This is where fanbases come to die, and where the future of the NBA is forged (that is, until Adam Silver inevitably rewards LA, New York, Miami, Philadelphia, and San Antonio with more good fortune). These are the suitors for the best and brightest stars of tomorrow.
May the basketball gods show us mercy.
NBA Tank Race Standings Vol. II
1- Indiana Pacers (6-31)
Unfortunately, it would appear the one-man wrecking crew that is T.J. McConnell isn’t quite enough to win more than six games to this point in the season. Please, don’t let this realization turn into a Syndrome-esque hero deconstruction; we’re all better than that. Keep his jersey out of the fire pit.
Still without Haliburton, the Pacers have been forced to rely on the likes of household names like Jay Huff (who absolutely balled out against Cleveland, by the way), Ben Sheppard, Jarace Walker (I will never give up on you, Jarace), and Jazz legend Micah Potter. The Pacers are not a good basketball team without Myles Turner and Tyrese Haliburton
2- New Orleans Pelicans (8-30) -1.5 GB
Incompetency incarnate. During a season in which New Orleans is not the owner of their own first-round draft pick, this team is still so embarrassingly terrible that every loss sparks a cheer of celebration from the front offices of Atlanta. They dealt their very souls for the 13th pick in this past draft — which admittedly became one of the best players in the class in Derrick Queen — and in return, the monkey’s paw has returned the Atlanta Hawks with New Orleans’ first rounder.
New Orleans has zero reason to lose basketball games, but with no Herb Jones, Trey Murphy III, Jose Alvarado, DeJounte Murray, or Saddiq Bey, not even a relatively healthy Zion Williamson can restore hope to this franchise.
And I thought being a Jazz fan was tough.
3- Sacramento Kings (8-29) -2 GB
Kings.
4- Washington Wizards (10-25) -5 GB
The Wizards are winning basketball games again (6-4 in their last 10 games, which is bonkers for a team with just 10 W’s to their name), and all of a sudden they’re biting on the Trae Young bait? Is Atlanta about to become the most draft-wealthy non-OKC team in all of basketball?
My orders to Washington are simple: quit the Khris Middleton and CJ McCollum tomfoolery, but not at the cost of getting stuck on Trae Young.
UPDATE: As I’m writing this, the Wizards traded McCollum and Corey Kispert for Trae Young. I won’t pretend to understand the urge to land Young, but this is reality in the tank race. This deal likely earns the Wizards a few more wins for the rest of the season, but at a tremendous price when it comes to the tank race standings.
5- Brooklyn Nets (11-22) -7 GB
Egor Demin is incredible, and I’ll be saying I told you so until the day that I die. And also possibly have it engraved on my tombstone. He’s shooting over 40% from three in his past nine games. Absolutely deadly. Meanwhile, Michael Porter Jr. is playing at a near All-Star level. They’re 5-5 in their last 10.
But despite all this, Brooklyn is still in the top five of the tank race, and for that, I salute you.
6- Utah Jazz (12-23) -7 GB
The Jazz really had us going there for a minute. Just a week ago, I had all but chalked up the season to a wash. Keyonte’s emergence caught us all by surprise. Markkanen is, once again, an absolute demigod on the playing surface (unless you’re paying attention to his midrange shooting numbers… yeesh). Even Cody Williams has shown signs of life in recent games.
Cody Williams lives above the rim — we all know this.
Yet, in spite of the good vibes and early winning, the Jazz are back to losing with style. Losers of five straight and nine of their last 11 games, the Jazz are firmly back in the tank race and below the OKC pick-surrender zone. Now the question arises of whether they can maintain this position, or if they’re doomed to forfeit their first-rounder by year’s end.
7- Charlotte Hornets (13-23) -7.5 GB
Look, few are more accustomed to this list than the Charlotte Hornets, but Kon Knueppel is a symbol of hope in the Tar Heel State. A glistening savior for a franchise that has been absolutely horrific for generations. Can Kon alone deliver this team to the playoffs? Perhaps. Will he blossom into an All-Star or even potentially an All-NBA player? That’s within the realm of possibility.
Will the Charlotte Hornets finally shake their losing ways? Don’t bet on it.
8- Los Angeles Clippers (13-22) -8 GB
Don’t worry, OKC, you’ll still have a top-10 pick thanks to the Los Angeles Clippers. You remember the Clippers, right? Those were the guys who gave you five first-round picks and future MVP Shai Gilgeous-Alexander in return for… Paul George! That’s great.
9- Dallas Mavericks (14-23) -8 GB
Ihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyouihateyou.
If the Mavericks find their way into the top three of the 2026 draft standings, we riot.
Calvin Barrett is a writer, editor, and prolific Mario Kart racer located in Tokyo, Japan. He has covered the NBA and College Sports since 2024.
