There have been Poor Poor Pitiful Me moments worse during my lifetime than dealing with the meltdowns that befell your resident tout when 80% of his picks lost last Saturday.
One of those regrettable interludes came mid 70s one evening in a relatively empty Santa Monica bar, when I realized that standing not ten feet away from me, by herself, was the singer of that tune, fetching Cub-scout-uni era Linda Ronstadt. Cutting to the chase, I spent too long deep breathing and gathering the gumption to approach
her. Her friends arrived and whisked her away.
Not One Shining Moment.
Yes, Saturday was bad, but ya know, perspective.
Utah, SMU, Nebraska and Illinois were all vanquished. None of the games was really close. My only victory was U of L in the Cards’ walkover.
Going 1-4 after a mediocre 3-3 weekend, and feeling considerable heat from many quarters, has me gathering some comfort in the following statement issued by my Chron boss Glorious Editor, through his recently hired PR flak Bobbi Fleckman.
Because of the enormous amount of speculation on social media and directly to my office about the status of Seedy K, given his less than exemplary prediction results recently, I feel compelled to issue this statement regarding his employment situation at this time.
While I cannot speak to Seedy’s situation at his own vanity blog, I can advise for the moment anyway on the afternoon of September 24, 2025 here at Card Chronicle, he has my full support. Which is subject of course to pending consultation with my superiors at SB Nation and Vox Media, who have yet to inform me of their level of concern regarding Seedy’s dismal performance and his employment status.
We are constantly assessing the value of content provided by all our contributors. I cannot confirm or deny whether there has been any more intense scrutiny of our in house prognosticator. We shall continue to monitor.
Again, as of this moment, he has my full support, and his predictions for Week V shall be published. As of now.
So, I got that goin’ for me. Which is nice.
If you are reading this at the Chron, you will know I’m still employed. Though my office at Chron Tower has been moved to a store room in the subbasement next to the shredding machine and shelves of cleaning supplies and toilet paper by the door to the dumpster.
Note that despite my recent miscues, I am not shying away from weighing in on the hard games.
This week’s winners:
Notre Dame @ Arkansas. There is something about this match up that just seems odd. Win one for the Gipper. Woooooooo Pig Sooey. Kind of a cultural disconnect it would seem Razorbacks spit out the bit at Memphis State. Sam Pittman is consensusly listed on Hot Seat lists. Though he wasn’t Gundyfied. Though he couldn’t hold on to a three score advantage. Irish finally got right against Purdue after a couple Top 20 Ls. Irish.
Oregon @ Pennsylvania State. I am not the only one who has noticed James Franklin’s less than exemplary record against highly ranked teams during his tenure in State College. The general belief is that THIS is the season the Nittany Lions break on through to where they once belonged. The curse of JoePa’s final seasons on the field and in the locker room remains. Other than nailing the second to last nail in Mike Gundy’s coaching coffin, the Ducks still have to prove they are worthy. I rarely go against the Quack. But Saturday Night, White Out wins.
Indiana @ Iowa. Star Hoosier wideout Elijah Sarratt’s nickname is Waffle House. “Because I’m open 24/7.” he advises. Until they prove me wrong, in Curt Cignetti’s Hoosiers I believe. After all this seriously relentless coach had the word “attack” written on his hand during the Illinois beatdown. As if he needed the reminder. IU.
Kentucky @ South Carolina. Should Cutter Boley prove to be the deal, quite a story it would be. It’s a low bar. That transfer fella they brought in was nuttin’ honey.. But starting on the road in Gamecock Country is not quite the same as Krogering in the Bluegrass against the MAC. South Carolina has underperformed lately, albeit against a couple legit league foes, Vandy and Mizzou. LaNorris Sellers appears healthy despite a scare. Cats have lost three straight to SC. Mark it four, Donny.
Louisville @ Pittsburgh. Only on the rarest of occasions do I pick against the Cardinals. This is not one of those. Though I do believe the Panthers are better than they showed in the Backyard Brawl. And they’ve had a week off to lick their wounds and heal. Cards prevailed hugely last season after being ambushed at Stanford the week before. U of L remains undefeated.
— c d kaplan
