Hello there! I recognize that this weekly rant is a bit late, so to the four of you reading, I apologize for my tardiness. The reason behind this column’s latency is hopefully a good one, as I spent the weekend
in Colorado, visiting a longtime friend from my college days in Iowa, and watching the Cougs get a big win in-person! I haven’t seen a lot of those away from Martin Stadium! My buddy’s son is a freshman at CSU, so we decided a while back that we’d make a weekend of it. I am certainly glad I did!
Well, I’m mostly glad I did. Almost totally. But, man did I miss a lot of drama elsewhere. That’s always the rub of going to a game. While tailgating under the sun and catching up with old friends is always a blast, it’s tough to follow the other games. And I’m sure y’all are aware that while being at the game is fun, you miss a lot the game’s nuances, stats, replays etc. On the positive side, I fired up CBS on my laptop at the tailgate and watched an inferior Washington team with its so-called great offense score all of two field goals in an 18-point loss. Such a shame.
But enough about them. This is all about our Cougs, and how they bounced back after two pretty crappy weeks to get back into the win column. Hoo-goddamn-ray.
The Good
- Beautiful day, beautiful stadium, beautiful result. Beautiful.
- For real though Colorado State has a really cool venue, particularly the wide concourses, plentiful food and beverage options, and a New Belgium beer garden in the north endzone. Beer? And booze? In a college football stadium? MADNESS
- Man, that cannon is L-O-U-D. So while it is impressive, I was also happy that I only heard it a couple times, which meant the Rams weren’t doing much on the scoreboard.
- CSU’s version of Ralphie the Buffalo is Cam the Ram. We got a good view of Cam early on, but then he disappeared. I needed to see some more Cam the Ram! Cool mascot.
- Really impressive how the Cougs responded to Colorado State’s opening drive score with a touchdown to take the lead. Only took them five plays to cover 82 yards.
- That Jeremiah Noga grab to complete that drive was rather impressive upon further review, because the defensive back was clearly trying to tackle him I don’t know about that hoodie, though.
- 33 carries / 172 yards on the ground for a team that has, needless to say, struggled mightily in that department thus far.
- Finally. Finally(!!!!) the Cougar defense took the ball away, and at a crucial point in the second quarter when CSU was threatening to tie the game. Kenny Worthy got credit for the forced fumble, but it looked to me like Cale Reeder.
- Watching the highlights, one play really stood out to me in terms of how the defense swarmed to the ball. With WSU leading 13-3, CSU faced 2nd-and-1 at its 49. Rush for 0 yards. 3rd-and 1, rush for 0 yards. 4th-and-inches, CSU’s version of Julian Dugger takes the snap and bolts left, where Buddha Peleti has set the edge, forcing Tahj Bullock to continue laterally. Then he runs into Caleb Francl, who forces him even further outside, where Tucker Large met him and dropped him for a one-yard loss. Coug ball. Seven plays later, the Cougs were in the endzone with the game in hand.
- Speaking of that, while there were some, uh, questionable play calls near the goal line, the design on the throwback to Ademola Faleye was near perfection.
- Great job by the defensive play caller to “dial up” the tackle/end stunt when CSU faced 4th-and-5 at the WSU seven yardline in the third quarter. CSU’s quarterback had been nickel-diming the defense with runs under pressure, finding creases to move the chains. But on this play, the lane he saw quickly closed, in the form of Buddha Peleti. Lamb and Palano got credit for the tackle, but Peleti’s stunt made it happen.
- Speaking of Mr. Lamb, he was more like a lion on that field goal block! I’ll be here all week.
- Leo Pulalasi with a 45-yard run? Leo Pulalasi with a 45-yard run!
- Feed Tony Freeman!
- Four sacks and nine overall tackles-for-loss. If this defense isn’t going to generate takeaways, it absolutely has to make a disruptive play or two per possession to get the opposing offense off schedule. Between the TFLs and CSO self-induced mistakes, that happened an awful lot Saturday.
- Hell of a way to introduce yourself, Soni Finau! Two straight sacks to ruin a CSU drive into WSU territory. The second one was a good physics lesson, as the quarterback’s action generated an equal and opposite (direction) reaction.
The Bad
- WSU’s coaches obviously intended to preserve the lead in the second half rather than keep the foot on the gas, but those final two quarters ain’t going in the Louvre.
- Not that it hurt WSU at all, but man, walking around that campus before the game, you’d have never known a football game was about to take place. It seemed deserted. One more round of applause for Jay Norvell!
- Y’all have to stop calling plays for Angel Johnson between the tackles near the goal line. Zero chance of success.
- I am going to hear the band leader’s six-beat whistle in my nightmares for at least the next year.
- We were sitting there in the second half, between sips of Old Aggie Lager, when I heard the name Ayden Hector. I had to check my phone to see if my ears were deceiving me. Sure enough, the kid who WSU gave a chance back in 2020 (!!!) is still playing college football. I gave my buddy a a quick synopsis of Ayden Hector’s backstory, and his only response was, “This school will literally take anybody.” Seems so.
- Not sure which roster the PA announcer was referencing, but he referred to Tucker Large as Angel Johnson at one point, then before WSU made its first field goal, he said Ryan Harris was attempting the kick. On the other hand, he referred to us as “Wazzu” later in the game, so all is forgiven.
- The pass interference situation in this game was a complete cluster f**k. They threw flags when there was no PI. They didn’t throw flags when there was PI. They threw flags but then decided to pick them up. It was like they were just spinning a “Wheel of Interference” to figure out when to make a call.
- Not really sure what the powers-that-be on the CSU campus are thinking, but putting the band on the 50 yard line doesn’t seem like the best way to maximize revenue.
- I really wanted a throwback CSU/Colorado A&M shirt, with an old school Ram logo. I searched high, low, and everywhere in between. No dice. Starting to think my highly specific college shirt design tastes are an issue.
The Ugly
- Thank god the stat sheet doesn’t track dropped passes, because the internet may have run out of room. WSU can’t afford that when the margins are razor-thin.
- I was walking to my seat behind a dude wearing a shirt that read, “If you don’t bleed green and gold, take your bitch ass home!” This guy bought this shirt while almost certainly complaining about the price of eggs. Given the state of the program, it might be time to throw that into the pile of rags, champ.
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This Week in Parenting
- Watching football on TV with the oldest the other night when I see him taking a photo of the television, so I asked why he was doing that. Turns out his friend had asked him if he was watching the game. “Why can’t you just say ”yes” instead of taking a photo and sending it to him?“ I asked. ”Social media age, dad.“ This world is doomed.
- The oldest went to school last week, then returned home before attending class, complaining of a headache, upset stomach and sore throat. I took him to the doctor and, sure enough, he had a case of strep throat. It was then that he told me one of his teammates had previously come to football workouts and informed everyone that he was there even though he had strep throat himself. If that kid and his parents had been in front of me at the time, I’d be writing this post from prison.
- Later on, I took his car to get serviced, and waited for him at school so we could swap cars. While I was sitting in his space, another student pulled into her space in front of me. At the same time, a car stopped behind her. The girl who parked got out, then got into her friend’s car for a ride closer to the school. Mind you, the area where my kid’s space sits is maybe 75 yards from the front door. Apparently that’s just too damn far for this girl. Gotta hitch a ride. Some people are raising the softest damn kids.
- On the high school football front, last Friday was military appreciation night at the most intimidating venue on the Gulf Coast, aka Dolphin Stadium. The kiddo was given the honor of running out with the American flag, which we didn’t know beforehand. Thankfully we didn’t get there late!
Not the highest-quality photo, unfortunately, but a cool moment nonetheless. Unfortunately, the pregame festivities were the high point for the mighty Dolphins, as we trailed 21-0 in under four minutes of game time. I’ll just leave it there!
- On the youth baseball front, a parent offered to put together a compilation of walkup music for the kids. Initially, mine chose “Bodies” by some band called Offset. I have never heard that song, but I knew enough about his tastes to immediately require he find a clean version to pass along. Stunningly, he couldn’t find one. Choice #2 was “Him all along” by Gunna. Apparently a clean version exists, so we’ll see what happens at the tournament this weekend.
- Oh, about that tournament. Games on Saturday are scheduled for 4:45 and 6:30 p.m., which means they’ll actually start at 5:15 and 7:30. But really, who wants a weekend anyway?
- The kiddo leaves for school before I’m out of bed on most days, so I rarely see what he’s wearing (though I can predict with 90% certainty that it’s either his Notorious B.I.G. shirt or another graphic tee with a dog on it. But last week he wore his Cal Raleigh jersey the day after the Mariners catcher hit his 60th home run. Living in the Florida panhandle, I questioned whether anyone at school even knew who Cal is. He says a few kids did. More importantly, he appears to have made it back home without getting the jersey all soiled. Closer inspection would probably reveal otherwise.
- The local junior high school decided to ban cellphone use this year, which I fully support. So when we went to open house a couple weeks ago, the principal was eager to announce how much things had improved. However, he also complained that it was too loud in the cafeteria during lunch, and requested we tell our kids to be a little quieter. I did not do so. Last week, the principal had enough of the volume, and directed all kids to sit with their 5th period class – disallowing everyone from sitting with friends at lunch – in order to reduce the cacophony. Look, I’m a guy who enjoys his quiet, but this is just complete nonsense. Hey, Principal Doofus, YOU BANNED PHONES IN LARGE PART TO GET KIDS TALKING TO EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF STARING AT THEIR PHONES! AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO COMPLAIN THAT THEY ARE IN FACT…TALKING TO EACH OTHER???!!! Pick a f***ing side. This is just so dumb.
Have a good week, eveybody!
