Welcome back loyal followers, denizens of Fansville, fellow travelers along this mascot-festooned highway, littered with the figurative carcasses of fired but extremely wealthy coaches to college pigskin’s long and winding road of predicteration.
Other than that useless verbosity, there’s really no need for yours truly, a veritable Jimmy the Greek for contemporary times, to beat around the bush with last weekend’s recap.
Because, ya know, Seedy K did what he does.
Which is gettenem right.
But first,
this necessary side trip to advise of my most significant W of the week. Off the Field. Apparently some May/December couple living out of wedlock on Tobacco Road filed a trademark application for Seedy K™. So, I hired the Detroit law firm that sponsors my Tigers’ games — “All We Do Is Win” — and set that usurping duo straight.
Now, back to biz. One I missed: That Border War thing that’s been a point of contention since the 1850s. Mizzou prevailed on its home turf Saturday, contrary to my hunch. It happens.
But Iowa State, Oklahoma, Oregon, Ole Miss — Why is it Ole Miss instead of Mississippi? — and U of L all prevailed as I foresaw in this space.
That crystal ball is shining with a midseason glow.
The silence from my naysayers, well, you know what they say, is deafening.
5-1 for the weekend ups the season record to 13-5.
No spit takes here, this week’s winners:
Wisconsin @ Alabama. Speaking of coaches on that list of headset wearers with hot britches, this one feels like a Closed Cage Brass Knucks Allowed Texas Chainsaw Loser Leaves Town Death Match. Luke Fickell, eh, not exactly Barry Alvarez. Kalen DeBoer, I know Nick Saban, and you’re no Nick Saban. Lose this one at home, and you might consider using up what’s remaining on your gift certificate at Dreamland BBQ. Just a suggestion. In an odd Week III battle between members of the Big Two Leagues, the team from Paul Finebaum’s conference is better than the one from the grouping that’s won the last two nattys. Crimson Tide.
Pittsburgh @ West Virginia. Now here are two fanbases that really really really do not like each other. Proximity perhaps. It’s called the Backyard Brawl after all. Steeltown vs. Coal Country. What I know is most of the recent encounters of the 107 played have been close. After falling at Ohio U. last time out, second stinter Rich Rod wants to confirm to his fanbase it was a good choice bringing him back. That’s going to have to wait. Panthers. Disgruntlement in Morgantown ensues.
South Florida @ Miami. When matters are upticking on Wall Street, it’s called a Bull Market. Well, kids, if you haven’t paid attention, South Florida’s stock is way way up after consecutive upsets over preseason Top 25 schools. The Bulls are as of now the faves to nab that G5 spot in the CFP. But it’s early. And finally Mario Cristobal might finally have it really going in Coral Gables. That W over the Fightin’ Irish was impressive. Bulls not strong enough to survive a Hurricane.
Georgia @ Tennessee. Top 25 showdown in the Land o’ Where We Care More. Will matter come CFP selection time. This will be a huge atmospheric struggle in eastern Tennessee. Neither school has been tested against those typical early season SEC rummy foes. People who know more than I do seem to be skeptical of Bulldog QB Gunner Stockton. Not sure I agree but I hear what they are whispering. In Big Orange Country, they are pleased with the QB guy they got in the “trade” with UCLA, Joey Aguilar. Got a hunch. Rocky Top.
Texas A&M @ Notre Dame. Another Top 25 matchup here. Prime Time on the Peacock both literal and figurative. (NBC and it’s streaming platform.) Under the Golden Dome and the ever watchful eyes of TD Jesus. Aggies have been up to snuff. But their victories have come over UTSA and Utah State. South Bend on a Saturday night, that’s a whole different galaxy. Irish want a win, Irish need a win, Irish get a win.
Eastern Michigan @ Kentucky. Mark Stoops and the BBN are apparently ready to move on from travelin’ man portal guy Zach Calzada as signal caller. He was not exactly the incarnate word. Cutter Boley — great name that — come on down and let’s go Krogering. Should Stoops lose this one, well, I do not have spell it out for you. He doesn’t. Cats go to 2-0 in MAC.
— c d kaplan
