The rush to judgment in the NFL after Week 1 is maddening. We enter the season fully aware that September football is ugly, and Week 1 lies. Yet the dizzying speed, emotion, and overall cacophony of the NFL’s return creates monsters of us all.
FIRE THIS GUY! THAT QUARTERBACK SUCKS! I TOLD YOU THEY WERE GOING TO BE TERRIBLE THIS YEAR!
The Detroit Lions eked out a win over the New Orleans Saints, and no matter what your expectations for the team were in 2026, this game confirmed those greatest fears
and/or highest expectations. The first half proves the Lions, when firing on all cylinders, are capable of blowing out anyone. Or the second half definitively shows Kelvin Sheppard is a fraud, the secondary stinks, and the Lions’ Super Bowl window is closed.
Y’all, can we just sleep on it?
Detroit Lions Week 1 Song of the Game: “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” by Meat Loaf
Yes, “Song of the Game” is back due to popular demand me just wanting to do it again and bring some fun back to the site. If you weren’t around or don’t remember, Song of the Game is exactly what it sounds like: a song that attempts to capture the essence of the Lions’ game. We talk about it here, do it weekly, and then we have a crazy, disjointed playlist by the end of the season.
If you want to relive previous Lions seasons, you can find the playlists we curated below: 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022. And if you want to read previous versions of our Song of the Game columns, you can find those here.
It’s only appropriate that the first song to kick off this playlist is one that matches the Lions’ season opener in length. Meat Loaf’s most iconic duet stretches nearly eight-and-a-half minutes, taking the listener through a journey of love, thrills, painful indecisiveness, and regret. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Now, I’m going to admit right here that this song is overtly sexual, and it’s going to make for some awkward metaphors. So buckle up. This one isn’t for the faint of hearts.
We’re glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
The Lions’ 2026 season got off to a somewhat strong start. After shaking off a three-and-out, the offense put together an impressive 13-play, 89-yard drive. Jahmyr Gibbs had gains of 11, 21, and 11 yards before eventually walking in untouched for the season’s first score. The rushing lanes were occasionally gaping, the blocking schemes were complicated, and the offensive line—despite losing Christian Mahogany halfway through the drive—was humming. Oh, baby, we were cookin’.
After Meat Loaf and Ellen Foley spend the first 3:30 glam rocking to each other about the sex their characters are about to have, the song kicks in a funky beat and a faux radio call of a baseball game is laid over the track. It’s about as blatant a sex metaphor as you can get, as the not-so-convincing radio announcer describes a series of plays in which the runner crosses each base and nears home.
He’s taking a pretty big lead out there
Almost daring him to try and pick him off
The Lions and Lions were inching closer and closer to a decisive Week 1 win. Derrick Barnes, interception. Gibbs touchdown. Roger McCreary, sack fumble. Amon-Ra St. Brown touchdown.
Ford Field was feeling it, Lions fans were in awe of the team’s defense finally coming together with a marriage of pass rush and coverage. It was starting to feel like Detroit’s offseason plan was coming together perfectly.
Stop right there
Just before we find out whether this “base runner” is “safe at home,” Foley screams out to stop everything. The song comes to a screeching halt. Before the baseball player is ready to “consummate” his trip around the bases, she begs for long-term commitment and faith.
And just like the Lions failed to seal the deal cleanly, Meat Loaf struggled to find an answer.
I gotta know right now, before we go any further
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it
Well, let me sleep on it
I’ll give you an answer in the morning
As with every NFL fanbase after every game, the noise following the Lions’ 31-30 win has been loud and exaggerated. The doubters now have definitive proof the Lions are doomed. The endlessly faithful point to the first half as irrefutable evidence everything is going to be fine once things settle in.
Me, I’m not so sure. I’m not ready to give an answer. There were promising developments in the run game, offensive line, and pass rush. But there were troubling, ominous signs in the secondary, defensive game plan, and offensive inconsistency.
Everyone is in a rush to find out answers and come to undeniable conclusions. Why can’t anyone just admit: we still don’t know. We need more time. Let’s sleep on it.
Meat Loaf’s marathon of a song ends in tragedy. The male character expresses grief, regret, and sorrow for those exciting days. He’s stuck in a relationship bonded by carnal pleasure instead of true love. He’s tormented by his past, hasty choices and just wants it all to end.
Unlike the narrator, though, the Lions have a chance to quickly put the past behind them. Thursday is a new opportunity to recapture that glowing edge of a knife and find true success—not just fleeting sparks.
You can follow along with this year’s playlist with this direct link to Spotify, or the embedded player below.
