‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the yerts
not a creature was stirring, not even a Kurtz
The stockings were hung by the chimney with tension
In hopes that St. Nicholas signed an extension
The children all nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of Sodesrtroms danced in their heads
And mamma in her ’kerchief, at least till it fell off
Had settled our brains for a long winter’s Gelof
When out on the lawn there arose such a boomin’ I sprang from the bed to see a Max Schuemann Away
to the window I flew to the fence Tore open the shutters and saw a Mitch Spence
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to Brady Basso
When, what to my wondering eyes should come scare us,
But a miniature sleigh, plus Brett and Hogan Harris!
With a little old driver, so livelywith spark,
I knew in a moment it was Denzel Clarke.
More rapid than eagles would more than a few come,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them Sean Newcomb
“Now, Lopez! now, Sterner! now, Muncy and Sears!
On, Kelly! on, Perkins! on someday, Blake Beers!
To the top of the porch! to the two chandeliers!
Now dash away! dash away, Shea Langeliers!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane spin,
When they meet with an obstacle called J.T. Ginn
So up to the house-top they went in a speedo
With the sleigh full of Toys, and an Osvaldo Bido.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard a big fella:
The prancing and pawing of Gio Urshela
As I drew in my head, and was turning away
Down the chimney came bounding a JJ Bleday
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his wings,
And his clothes were all tarnished like poor Jeffrey Springs
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his Prius
And he looked like a peddler named Luis Urias.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples so killer!
His cheeks were like roses, just like Mason Miller!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like for days
And the beard of his chin was like Darell Hernaiz
I’ve run out of steam so I’ll wrap it up, darn it
Leaving out several players, but not Mason Barnett
As we wait for spring training to bring us new light
Merry A’s-mas to all and to all a good night
