In the 1980 classic movie Caddyshack, the character of Judge Elihu Smails, played by the talented Ted Knight, delivers a memorable toast when christening his new boat:
It’s easy to grin,
when your ship comes in,
And you’ve got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
As the Cleveland Browns close out the 2025 regular season, their 19th season with double-digit losses since 1999, it is safe to say that many people inside the organization
are feeling that their shorts are getting tighter by the day.
All that losing has made the franchise an easy punching bag, especially when you consider some of the “only in Cleveland” moments that have enveloped the franchise over the past 25 years, such as:
- Lawsuits from players who contracted staph infections from what they claimed were unhygienic conditions at the team’s facilities.
- Wide receiver Braylon Edwards injuring his foot when wide receiver Donte’ Stallworth stepped on Edwards’ shoeless heel during post-practice sprints.
- Quarterback Johnny Manziel skipping practice to travel to Las Vegas in a disguise that included a blonde wig, a fake mustache, and glasses.
- Wide receiver Josh Gordon injuring his hamstring while filming a promotional video at the team’s indoor field house.
- Wide receivers Odell Beckham Jr. and Jarvis Landry wearing illegal cleats in a game and having to change at halftime to continue in the game. (What is it with this team and wide receivers?)
- CEO Joe Banner showing off a series of 13 inspirational quotes – nine of which were attributed to the wrong person – on the walls of the team’s training facility.
OK, you get the point.
It felt as if those days were finally in the past when the Browns made the playoffs in 2020 and again in 2023. But, alas, it appears that was nothing more than a pleasant fantasy as the team has descended into a downward spiral over the past two seasons.
The latest example of how losing breeds nonsense came early in Sunday’s loss to the Chicago Bears when quarterback Shedeur Sanders lost a play-call sheet from his wristband early in the first quarter.
Never mind that a replacement was quickly found as backup quarterback Bailey Zappe handed over his sheet, or that things like this happen across the NFL. Because it was the Browns, it had to be yet another display of gross incompetence from everyone involved. Or the latest example of how a head coach who “hates” his quarterback is trying to “sabotage his career.” (Oddly enough, no one seems to be assigning any blame to the actual player who lost his sheet.)
While no one should ever claim that winning in the NFL is easy, it shouldn’t be as difficult as the Browns continually make it appear to be. And all that losing leads to an increase in outside noise that makes being a fan that much more difficult.
There are three more games to go for the Browns before they head into an offseason filled with major question marks, primarily around the offense and the quarterback position.
Who knows? Maybe this time, they will finally get it right and their ship will not only come in, but actually stay docked for several seasons to come.
