See, this is why I don’t dabble in religion.
Followers of Christ have been waiting thousands of years for the Second Coming. That’s a long time — like, way longer than the Jets have won the Super Bowl-long,
although it feels about the same.
Meanwhile, in WWE, the inhabitants of the Island of Relevancy are blessed with not just one, but countless returns by their Tribal Chief — the most preeminent performer in sports entertainment history — the great Roman Reigns.
Just a week after his latest return — and mere hours before his next — WWE dropped a playlist of biblical proportions.
Streaming now on YouTube: “Surprise Roman Reigns Returns.” At under 30 minutes, it’s shorter than a church service yet more nourishing to the soul. The highlights include Reigns targeting Solo Sikoa, saving the Usos, and interrupting a cage match between CM Punk and Seth Rollins.
With so many epic comebacks, picking a favorite is tough. But for me, it’s the one where Roman returns, buries corporate pet Cody Rhodes, and reclaims the Undisputed WWE Title.
Now, I know what you’re saying: “Noble Scribe, that never happened.”
You’re right.
Not yet.
But with faith and loyalty, I await the day we are awakened from “The American Nightmare” and receive salvation from our Tribal Chief.
As it is written in the Book of Sika 24:27:
For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the return of the Son of Samoa.
Amen. Amen.
