Pablo López returns pretty strong, all things considering. But the Twins can’t do much against Michael Wacha, and can’t do anything at all against the Royals’ bullpen, and Rocco ticks me off tonight. Inning-by-inning notes:
1: Four pitches deliver two Twins outs. At least Luke Keaschall and Kody Clemens make starter Wacha work a little before Austin Martin delivers the final out on the second pitch he sees.
Apparently Royals 1B Vinnie Pasquantino’s nickname is the Pasquatch? OK. Like Bigfoot, he’s
hard to capture, or at least the ball he hits is; Buxton makes a valiant effort, but it’s a double. He doesn’t score. Maybe later he will. During or following the game.
2: Royce Lewis takes a walk and steals. That’s cool! Unfortunately this is when backup backup catcher Jhonny “Crash Davis” Pereda is hitting, which is to say not hitting, so Lewis isn’t going anywhere. Unless he gets good again in the next few years and is about to become a star. Then the Twins will trade him for a Player To Be Conceived Later.
A two-out walk for Pablo but nothing comes of it. The hitter he walks, Jac Caglianone, was a two-way player in college. But a college pitcher with a 4.55 ERA probably isn’t gonna be encouraged to pitch in the majors. Still, talented guy. He doesn’t score. He might later — only during the game. He is Pure Of Groin.
3: The Twins do nothing. With two outs, the Pasquatch does. And then his less-furry teammate, Makiel Garcia, makes a homer. This game is over 0-2
4: Still over, but at least it’s “Moving Right Along.” (This is a Muppet Movie reference. Fozzie Bear and Kermit sing that song, written by Paul Williams of Phantom of the Paradise. Fozzie Bear’s catch phrase is “wacha wacha wacha.” The Twins have one hit off Wacha. All things are connected.
Looking at the last week of Saints promotions… there’s Fighting Saints Night, Teacher Appreciation Night (with no free tickets or discounts for teachers), a Monster Food Truck Rally, and “Bluey and Bingo presented by Wanta Thome Law!”
Boy, things sure have changed. I remember when the Saints had things like The Death of Rasputin. Or Atheist Night, which featured two fans running the bases, to be first in the race to begin Evolution. When one dived first into a slip-and-slide at home, representing the “primordial ooze,” the fan looked around and the P.A. announcer said, “are you wondering what you win in the end? It’s an atheist race! There’s NOTHING at the end!”
That was pretty funny. I miss Midway. Speaking of which, I took this outside the library a few years ago:
Me too.
5: Ha-ha, now that I’ve ragged on the guy, who is it but Pereda to deliver the Twins’ first RBI after a Brooks Lee double? I take it back, Jhonny is the new Joe.
Despite a leadoff single by #9 hitter Kyle Isbel, Pablo comes back strong with two strikeouts and a Pasquatch flyout. I’d guess he’s done, his first game back from injury with 77 pitches? A strong outing in any case. Team from that Lorde song 2-1
6: It’s certainly the end of the night for Wacha after only 83 pitches, on a two-out Martin double. Unfortunately the Royals’ bullpen is pretty good. Or, for our purposes, “the Royals’ bullpen has three left-handers.” The Twins don’t do well against left-handers. Or right-handers. But they are worse against lefties. Zerpa is a lefty. Matt Wallner grounds out.
Uh-oh. Garcia singles, and Salvador Perez hits what MIGHT have been a double play, but Lee boots it, everybody’s safe. Then Pereda catches Garcia napping at second! He IS the new Joe. Then a strikeout and pop-out and Pablo gets out of it! Well, done, sir.
7: Twins still bad against lefties. Kody Funderburkerer foretalls the eventual Pen Meltdown.
8: Another Royals lefty pitching, Daniel Lynch IV. ‘Cause that’s such an amazing name, Lord forbid you break the generational tradition with a “Larry” or “David” or whatever. Trevor Larnach actually gets a lefty-on-lefty hit, and advances to second on a groundout. A righty gets Martin for the final out. Larnach doesn’t score. He never will. He’s a sworn Vestal Virgin and doesn’t want to get buried alive. (Yes, that’s what they did to Vestal Virgins who slipped up.)
Justin “Varies Up Who’s On” Topa keeps the score the same.
9: Rocco fail. Rocco HUGE FAIL. Let’s break this down…
Righthanded closer Carlos Estévez pitching. With two outs, Brooks Lee walks. Bringing up #9 hitter, Jhonny Pereda. Who’s had an RBI double, a walk, and a key pickoff! Let the man hit, Rocco! It would be a neat story if he was the hero! This game DOESN’T MATTER!
Nope, the spreadsheet says “pinch hit with switch-hitter in righty-on-righty situation.” So Mickey Gasper hits. And flies out.
I don’t mind decisions that backfire in key games, if the numbers say it’s the right decision. You can make a case for that, and it’s how almost every manager in baseball does things now.
But gawd da**it, Rocco, this game’s unimportant, you had the opportunity to give us something to enjoy, and you crapped all over it.
And if that ain’t the Twins this year, I dunno what is.
Studs of the game go to Pereda anyway, and Pablo López for some nice Houdini work later on. Duds go to Lee for two errors (both were kinda-tough plays), and Rocco for Hating Fun (as Zach pointed out).
COTG go to the Financial Sector discussion, nice Grandma discussion, and then a Teens Purchasing Things Teens Shouldn’t followed by Bad Bottom-Shelf Wine discussion. Plus BobbyDarwinFanClub for explaining the username:
“Bobby was my first favorite Twin for the silliest of reasons, his last name was the same as my much older sister’s husband’s first name. I was probably only 7 or 8 at the time. Didn’t hurt, though that he had a couple of pretty good years at the time. At the old Met, there were two seats high in the upper decks painted (red and yellow?) to mark the longest home runs hit by Twins players… Killebrew, and Darwin. Killebrew’s was the longest of the two, of course”
Really, thanks a ton everybody for keeping these gamethreads fun. You’re the best!
Tomorrow’s game is at 6:15 on FOX, and features Joe Ryan for our gang against something called a Stephen Kolek for the Royals. Enjoy the weekend if ya got one!
