The Milwaukee Brewers just came to town and took a series from the Colorado Rockies. It’s only fair that they leave behind the inspiration for a new tradition.
The Brewers are home to the Famous Racing Sausages. During the middle of the sixth inning, five sausages (Bratwurst, Italian Sausage, Polish Sausage, Hot Dog, and Chorizo) race their way around the warning track at American Family Field.
Across the league, you have several other mascot showdowns including the Washington Nationals’ Presidents
Race and Pittsburgh Pirates’ Pierogi Race, and the Arizona Diamondbacks’ Legends Race.
The New York Mets got the most hyper-local with it when they introduced their Five Borough Race last year. In the battle for NYC supremacy, “the pizza slice (Brooklyn), the skyscraper (Manhattan), the ferry (Staten Island), the giraffe (Bronx) and the subway (Queens)” race it out.
It’s been several years since the Rockies last held the Comfort Dental Tooth Trot, the longstanding competition between Toothy the tooth, Bristles the toothbrush, and Fresh the toothpaste.
It’s about time Coors Field was home to a new mascot race, one that better represents its home state.
Here are some ideas:
- Blue Animals & Friends: The first idea that comes to mind would highlight our beloved blue icons: Blucifer and the Big Blue Bear! Since the blue animal options are (unfortunately) limited, I would branch out to include one (maybe both?) of the dancing people from the Denver Center for Performing Arts, as well as the dustpan (still blue!) from outside the Denver Art Museum.
- Local Legends: Hear me out. Costumed mascots of “The Strong Arm” Frank Azar, Dealin’ Doug, Jake Jabs, and our friend in the diamond business Tom Shane going toe to toe around the warning track.
- Food: We could follow Milwaukee and Pittsburgh and get in on the food fight. A cheeseburger (Denver is home to the first trademark for the term, back in 1935!), a square of shredded wheat (also invented in Denver! And it’s important to note that the shredded wheat would lose every race), a Casa Bonita sopapilla, a Palisade peach, and a Denver omelet get things cooking in a nightly sprint.
- I know which other infamous Colorado food you’re thinking of adding. No. We’re not doing that. Stop it.
- South Park: Speaking of Casa Bonita sopapillas, perhaps owners and South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone would get behind a Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny race. There’s a lot of potential there for how Kenny would get taken out of the race each night.
- Beer: Coors Banquet stubby bottle vs. Coors Light tall boy vs. Colorado Native can vs. a bottle of the Sandlot Brewery’s own Blue Moon. Give me my million dollar check and/or free Coors Field drinks for life certificate now, Molson-Coors Beverage Co.!
Thank you for listening to the inner machinations of my mind.
If the Rockies were to debut a race to replace the Tooth Trot, what would you like to see? Which Denver or Colorado themed anthropomorphic creatures would you like to see duking it out?
Let us know below!
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