Two days ago, I turned 40 years old.
On one hand, my body is feeling it. Year #39 has been challenging from a health perspective. A severe noro-virus wiped me out at the beginning of the year, my 6’8” frame finally proved too much for my lower back (though strengthening PT has helped a lot!), and I’m currently working through a shoulder issue. I’ll stop before this turns into the Billy Crystal City Slickers speech.
On the other hand, I’m still the goofy kid who grew up in the 1990s mainlining movies,
playing Nintendo like it was going out of style, and (of course) learning to love baseball through books, video games, and the real thing.
My all time favorite flick—Back to the Future—just so happens to come from the year of my birth. A close second? The Breakfast Club (Rocky IV rounds out the top trilogy). If you’ve never seen The Breakfast Club: A. What have you been doing with your life?! (hahaha); & B. It is writer/director John Hughes at his pinnacle. The five high school students thrown together in detention proved to be templates that have never gotten stale and appeal to all generations—even ones where the fashions aren’t trench coats and jean jackets.
This got me thinking: If I were to cast a MN Twins Breakfast Club, who would participate? Well, with Joe Pohlad perhaps the easiest casting in Paul Gleason’s Principal Vernon role, here are my choices to re-cast the Brat Pack…
Ally Sheedy’s Allison: Tom Kelly
- Extremely quirky and can’t relate to the average human. Yet, is far savvier than he lets on. I’m not sure if T.K. has ever eaten a Cap’n Crunch sandwich, but he’d definitely be in the back row muttering to himself.
Emilio Estevez’s Andrew: Torii Hunter
- Big smile, charming personality, and the ability to relate to everyone in the room. Aggressive when he needs to be and prone to sometimes-violent outbursts (ask Nick Punto), but overall too nice of a guy to ever deny.
Molly Ringwald’s Claire: Joe Mauer
- High school superstar and goody two shoes. Even when trying to project a tougher image, cannot manage to pull it off. Definitely the kid from the rich part of the Midwest suburbs.
Anthony Michael Hall’s Brian: Tony Oliva
- Sometimes struggles to communicate a bit but is a super nice guy who just wants to be friends with everyone. Extremely smart and talented in his specific skill area. Always looking for a laugh.
Judd Nelson’s Bender: Bert Blyleven
- Comes off as extremely churlish until you realize it’s all in fun. Master instigator who enjoys playing pranks or watching others squirm. Easily the most likely to start a dirty joke and not quite get to the punchline.
Judd Nelson publicity portrait for the film ‘The Breakfast Club’, 1985. (Photo by Universal Pictures/Getty Images)
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Let me know how I did as Casting Director and/or drop your suggestions in the comments. I would have no issues wiling away a Saturday morning with that crew!
