Good morning, college football is upon us once again. Despite this being a ‘Bama bye week, we have a whole lot of game that seem compelling, or at least on their surface anyway. There are four ranked v. ranked matchups all day, but the more important games are more numerous, and involve those second-tier teams who haven’t cracked a Top 25 but nevertheless form the backbone of most schedules and the firm middle class for most conferences.
So let’s take a look at what’s on today, why it’s important,
what contests could provide under the radar fun, and the most dreadful viewing experience on the tellie.
Everything is in God’s Right and Proper Central Time, and as always, our schedule is courtesy of CFB Grid. BTW, you really should check out their site sometime. It’s not just a grid schedule, they also publish comprehensive streaming and listening options as well. Ad-free, no BS. It’s the most comprehensive how-to-watch (and for cord-cutters especially).
Must See TV
No. 22 Auburn @ No. 11 Oklahoma — Are the Sooners the most complete team in the SEC? After the first 3 1/2 weeks, they look like they could be. Michigan wasn’t much of a test with its rebuilt offensive line and freshman QB pulling in for a night game in Norman. Will Auburn’s veteran front seven, effective running game and a certain Jackson Arnold under center provide more pushback? Can Auburn finally get the passing game on track and take advantage of a deep receiving room? Can Mateer avoid his boneheaded mistakes that are holding the Sooners back — those turn into losses against real teams.
No. 17 Texas Tech @ No. 15 Utah — One of a trio of games today that will help sort out the question of who’s for real, and an early season B12 elimination match. The Red Raiders have looked every bit the part of a newly-purchased Top 25 club, while the Utes finally resemble Utah again. I don’t believe this is going to be an illusory game. Both are solid clubs, we just need to ascertain who’s better. And it’s entirely plausible that this could be the B12CG rematch as well.
No. 9 Illinois @ No. 19 Indiana — Does anyone believe that Illinois is the 9th best team in the country? That Indiana dropping a 70-burger on a bad FCS team means that they’re playoff calibre and worthy of a Top 25 ranking? For that matter, do either of these teams even have a defense? Bielema is horrid road coach in B1G play, but will IU’s Mendoza look overwhelmed the first time he actually faces an FBS team even at home? These two haven’t played anyone (UI SOS 228, IU SOS 168). But they are both riding high on cupcakes and last year’s glazing…which is but one more reason why we loathe preseason polls, and sadly why it positions them both for playoff contention this early in the season. The real travesty is that the winner gets to claim their opponent was a quality club. They could very well be at season’s end, but they’ve not shown it blowing out FCS clubs. That’s like giving Ohio State first place votes for obliterating Grambling. Oh, wait. We did that already.
Big, Dumb Fun Football
SMU @ TCU: Dallas vs. Fort Worth. Trust funds versus cattle barons. Cocaine vs. rhinestone cowboys. Hot pants vs. Tik Tok fast fashion. Enough peroxide to boil the oceans. Perhaps the least Christian matchup of private Christian schools you’re going to find, and culturally worlds apart — despite being just 40 miles away on I30. Two of the most explosive offenses in the country. And nary a lick of defense in sight. This is an old school SWC shootout dragged into the modern era, and I bet it’s going to be a helluva lot of fun.
Arizona State @ Baylor — The loser of this game is eliminated from the CFP picture before October. Baylor, because they ran into SEC line play, and Arizona State because they ran into SEC speeeeeeeed. Every bit as competitive as TCU/SMU, but with a smidge more at stake. And, unlike the Megachurch duo, this pair actually do try to play some defense on occasion.
North Texas @ Army — Who figured this would be a crucial game in the AAC already? The Mean Green can score in oodles, especially through the air. But UNT can’t stop the run to save their life…and now they draw a triple option team on the road. This could get weird and is a great candidate for least-obvious shootout of the day, especially if the Cadets start getting gashed through the air.
Arkansas @ Memphis — This has been the year for the Hogs to stop ducking neighbors that have been clamoring to get a piece of them for years. First Arkansas trucked Arkansas State in Little Rock, and today they head to the Liberty Bowl to face Memphis. How good are the Tigers? They’re winning with power running and defense. One suspects that won’t be enough against the Hogs, who have cranked out one of the country’s best offenses. But, was that just an artifact of playing Pete Golding and a Sun Belt team? If UM wants to be in the national picture for the G5 playoff spot, it could stand to have a high profile win. Unseating an SEC team at home could just do it. If Arkansas lines up and wallops the Tigers that could tell us as much about the Hogs as it does UM, and by extension, Ole Miss too. Could be a defensive struggle, could be a shootout. One never knows with these erratic clubs.
Important, But Probably Dull
Michigan @ Nebraska — This is going to be a grim, self-serious game of two frankly insufferable fanbases Cornhusker fans are low-key shitheads for real. I dare you to go tailgate in that Lincoln parking lot, swill their lukewarm domestic light beer, and find any sort of joy. They swear that putting 83,000 butts in seats is some accomplishment, rather than the average attendance of a Kentucky basketball game. They also labor under the delusion that they are royalty every bit as much as Notre Dame or Alabama. (I may also just be harboring a historical grudge against all those Husker teams that plowed over some of Bear Bryant’s best, years before I was born). Remarkably important game under center for Raiola and Underwood. Remarkably important game for both coaches. Remarkably important game for the Big 10 picture. And probably as exciting as reading the jacket on your life insurance policy. It’s bound to be low scoring for the many spates of ineptitude rather than two defenses executing at a high level.
No. 23 Mizzou v Sakerlina — CoMo calls South Carolina’s capital “fake Columbia,” while Sakerlina calls Mizzou “Fake SEC” — which is a bit rich coming from a charter member of the ACC. And, you know, Mizzou has actually made it to Atlanta twice in a decade while the Gamecocks have been mired in mid. Missouri overcame an early deficit to thrash the Jayhawks and USCe got dismantled at home by Vandy. There are significant problems in South Carolina, but if Pribula has problems at home today, and that deep running back corps can’t move the ball, it may actually signify another illusory record for the Tigers. It’s apt to be boring, I mean, it’s a Mike Shula team after all. But scoreboard watch this one for both who wins and how they do so.
BYU @ East Carolina — The Pirates are sailing under the radar, while the Cougars are traveling all the way to the Coastal Plain in search of some headspace in a Big 12 with far sexier contenders. One suspects this is going to be high on offensive ineptitude if the defenses are advertised. And it is certainly more meaningful to ECU, who could stake out their claim as a contender in the AAC this season. They dropped a one-score game against NC State, but perhaps they can finally come full circle in their rebuild with a W today.
Unwatchable Filth
There’s not just one game to choose from; indeed, the entire MAC has decided to serve up some butt au gratin.
Alas, there can be but one winner: Kent State at Florida State — The Golden Flashes are one of the worst teams in the country. They have a bottom 20 offense (and that’s with playing FCS games and other MAC teams). They average less than 5 yards a play. They are in the bottom 20 in 3rd downs converted and 3D%. When they do happen into the red zone, they score less than half the time. But they don’t get there often because they are also one of the nation’s least explosive teams, and they surrender 9 TFL a contest. Don’t expect it to be better on a defense that allows almost 8 yards a play, nearly 500 yards a game, can’t get into the backfield, can’t disrupt the run, and have surrendered a cool 37 points per outing, to go alongside the third most explosive plays in the country.
Their reward for this holistic ineptitude? They travel to Tallahassee to face the rejuvenated No. 7 Florida State Seminoles, who have an across-the-board Top 10 offense in practically every metric you nibble from, and somehow have created a Heisman candidate out of Tommy Castellanos.
The spread is the greatest one of the week among all FBS v FBS matchups (FSU -44.5), and that’s probably too conservative, given efficiency data (FSU -46.79). UConn v Ball State is going to be a bad game, but it will probably be competitive. This is just going to be absolutely unwatchable, even if you threw money at it. And, being a degenerate, of course I did, and now I hate myself for even having to check the scoreboard for these results.
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Here’s your thread for the day. Have a great Saturday.
