Sunderland 0 – 1 Liverpool
Black Cats: N/A’
Reds: Van Dijk 61’
Pre-Match
I’m still running a fever after three consecutive days of whatever fucking plague of the week my kids brought home, so excuse the following post if it’s mostly a stream
of consciousness rant from a fever dream. Somehow Cody Slumlord Gakpo is starting again. I’m sure he won’t kill about 5 attacks tonight by imagining himself to be a right-footed reincarnation of Arjen Robben. Maybe he has dirt on Slot. Who knows at this point.
Meanwhile, Endo is starting over Curtis Jones at right back, which is only good because I can share this meme:
First Half
Liverpool are wearing their lovely green kits. So at least they’ll look good while losing. And Chris Kavenaugh is the ref, so I’m already pissed.
It’s a pretty lackluster start to the match. Liverpool committed a foul throw on their very first throw-in, leading to the possibility for a long throw (which we’ve handled so well this season). Thankfully Sunderland decide to time waste for now, letting us off the hook.
Half an hour gone, and Wirtz has the two best efforts on goal so far. The first was a shot from distance, which required a good save from the Sunderland keeper, and the second was another slow roller that managed to beat the keeper, but hit the far post instead of the back of the net.
Ooof I feel like shit. I’d love nothing more than to turn this snoozefest off take even more drugs, and try to snooze this fucking illness off. My fever is up from 38.1C to 38.6C from kickoff to now. I will not be converting to Fahrenheit, go use google.
There’s a bit of a coming together right before the half involving Ibou, and miraculously neither the ref nor VAR gave it. It was definitely in teh “I’ve seen them given” category of pen shouts.
Second Half
39.2C. I might be dying.
Virgil scored from a corner. Header. Bam. 1-0.
Endo injured FFS. Looks bad, he’s holding his face and they’re bringing out the stretcher. Slot also looking pissed that he might have to give Jones some game time. Ah, Gomez in instead. “Over my dead body am I giving Jones time.” -Arne Slot, probably.
Jones coming on. That’ll show me. And he’s coming on for Gakpo! Best thing to happen so far today, including the goal.
Final Thoughts
Ending the evening at 39.5C. Slept the last 15 minutes and nothing appears to have happened. Three points, moving on. But first taking some cold meds.
