What’s this? BoilerUp89 is still writing for Off Tackle Empire and not talking about basketball? Well… yes, I’m still occasionally putting my two cents in regarding Purdue football here. Basketball is still the
superior sport. Anway, I figured it was time for my yearly contribution to the power poll. This year I’ll be talking about the fall of empires.
There have been many empires throughout the ages. All of them (except one) have fallen in one way or another. For what it’s worth, that one exception appears to be well on its way to not being an exception … but that’s not the purpose of this article. If you are a fan of history, you’ve likely heard about the end of some of these empires. Perhaps because their replacements (whether another monarchy or a Republic) so often make it a point to talk about their origin story, more is sometimes known about the death of empires than their birth or peaks. For this week’s power poll, I’ll be comparing our 18 Big Ten teams to fallen empires of years past.
If you’d like to learn more, leave a comment in the comments section. If you have good book recommendations about these empires or others, leave those too. If you are one of the people I haven’t been talking about basketball with this season and just want to say hi, feel free to do that too.
1. The Ohio State Buckeyes – The Fall of the Achaemenid Empire
First Place Votes: 10 High: 1 Low: 2 Last Week: 1
The Achaemenid’s (or Persians as they are more commonly referred to by some) had everything. They were the most powerful empire on Earth and all bowed before them (well, except the Greeks, but that’s a different story). Near the end of their rule though they were a paper tiger. An upstart 22-year-old named Alexander invaded them and conquered them.
Ohio State may be #1 in the current CFP rankings, but they haven’t really beaten anybody this season that is worthy of competition. Perhaps they should begin to worry about a 22-year-old QB and his friends coming to dethrone them?
2. Indiana Hoosiers – The Fall of the Mongol Empire
FPV: 1 H: 1 L: 2 LW: 2
The Mongol Empire rose absurdly fast out of the Mongolian heartland to terrorize all of Eurasia. Within less than a century they went from an absolute nobody to rulers of a land that stretched from Eastern Europe to the Sea of Japan. An unstoppable force, the Mongol Empire did not fall to any outside force. They were only stopped by their own infighting which resulted in the separation of the Empire into four individual components under Genghis Khan’s descendants: the Golden Horde, Chagatai Khanate, Ilkhanate, and the Yuan dynasty in China.
The only people stopping Indiana are Indiana. Their depth is a question, but their brutality and elimination of all who resist is a testament to their power. Get out of the way for the future national champions.
3. Oregon Ducks – The Fall of the Carthaginian Empire
H: 3 L: 3 LW: 3
Carthage had a rapid rise in power from mercantile city state to naval dominance in the Mediterranean. They used the immense amount of wealth they acquired from their maritime trade routes to establish colonies, vassals, and satellite states across the Mediterranean Sea. Unfortunately for the Carthaginian’s they butted heads with the militant Roman Republic and lost three wars with them. Following the Third Punic War with Rome and their defeat in the Siege of Carthage, Carthage was razed to the ground, its lands salted*, and its people killed or enslaved.
*the salting of Carthage is likely a 19th century addition to the tale
Oregon is the new money of the Big Ten thanks to Nike. Unfortunately for them, their loss at home to Indiana destroyed their hopes of a Big Ten title.
4. USC Trojans – The Fall of the Hittite Empire
H: 4 L: 5 LW: 4
The Hittite Empire in Anatolia was a Bronze age power that has largely been forgotten by popular culture. The Treaty of Kadesh between them and Egypt is one of the oldest completely surviving treaties in history so they’ve got that going for them. Combined pressures from wars with Assyria and the invasion of the Sea Peoples saw Hittite power reduced and the capital of Hattusa was burnt to the ground (like Troy!) in 1180 BC. The end of the Hittites was part of the larger Bronze Age Collapse around the Mediterranean.
USC’s loss to Notre Dame was but a part of the larger Big Ten 4th CFP team collapse, but an unrecoverable one at that.
T5. Illinois Fighting Illini – The Fall of the Neo Babylonian Empire
H: 4 L: 9 LW: 7
Less than a century after establishing their dynasty in the ruins of the Assyrian Empire, the Neo-Babylonian Empire was conquered by the Achaemenid Persian Empire in 539 BC. Cyrus the Great defeated the Medians and went on to conquer all the ancient Near East. His invasion of Babylon swept aside their last potentially threatening opponent. After losing the Battle of Opis and watching the city of Sippar surrender to Persian forces, Cyrus was able to enter Babylon without any resistance.
Illinois has been a real regional power this season. Able to lord over the other weak programs in the area, but unable to offer any meaningful resistance to the true powers of Indiana and Ohio State.
T5. Michigan Wolverines – The Fall of the British Empire
H: 5 L: 8 LW: 6
The British chose to dismantle their empire in the face of rising economic burdens. The victors in two world wars, the British Empire went out on top but the geopolitical landscape shifted wildly even as WWII ended.
Following the departure of John Harbaugh, Michigan finds itself on a slow decline to irrelevancy. They’ve abandoned the passing game and watched other programs replace them as the superpowers of the Big Ten. Despite that they still have their “special relationship” with one of the super powers which helps them remain semi-relevant as the season winds down.
7 – Iowa Hawkeyes – The Fall of the Incan Empire
H: 5 L: 8 LW: 5
The Incan Empire was the largest empire in pre-Columbian America. The Incas constructed one of the greatest imperial states without the use of the wheel, draft animals, or iron. When the Spanish showed up with influenza, smallpox, typhus, and gunpower, the Incas were unable to successfully fight back. The Spanish made little effort to change the society and benefitted from the Incan’s administration by setting up a puppet Incan emperor. The puppet tried to eventually take advantage of Spanish infighting but was forced to retreat to the mountains and the margins of power.
Iowa has constructed one of the sport’s greatest defenses. They’ve done so without any knowledge what a passing play is. Unfortunately for them, the powers of the B1G have used this to their advantage and pushed Iowa to the margins of college football discussion.
8. Washington Huskies – The Fall of the Mughal Empire
H: 7 L: 11 LW: 10
The Mughal Empire was founded by Babur – a descendant of Timur and Genghis Khan – in 1526. Babur established control over northern India and the empire expanded significantly under his grandson Akbar. In the 18th century, the Mughal Empire entered a period of decline as they faced challenges from rival regional powers and the increasing influence of the East India Company. The final emperor was exiled in 1857 by the British but the Mughals had long since stopped being a powerful empire.
Washington was formally exiled from the CFP conversation by Wisconsin but if we are honest, we all stopped caring about Washington much earlier than that. The emergence of other Big Ten CFP contenders pushed them to the sidelines. As much as we like Dubs II (and names like Babur or Akbar), nobody really talks about Washington or the Mughal Empire.
9. Nebraska Cornhuskers – The Fall of the Holy Roman Empire
H: 7 L: 11 LW: 8
The empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire. At least that’s how the saying goes. A loosely connected group of states that depended on cooperation between the emperor and vassals, the imperial title had become a nice paperweight many centuries before it was finally swept away. Following their defeat during the War of the Third Coalition against Napoleon, Emperor Francis II abdicated the Imperial throne and Napoleon forced a handful of German states into founding the Confederation of the Rhine – an even weaker confederation of German client states to France.
Nebraska was once a proud dynasty and the premier program in college football. Decades later, they no longer resemble a blue blood program, but instead of a weak incarnation of their former selves. Even if we want to keep the metaphors to this season only, the injury to Raiola and his replacement has left Nebraska a shell of itself.
10. Northwestern Wildcats – The Fall of the Aztec Empire
H: 9 L: 11 LW: 11
The Aztecs ruled central Mexico when the Spanish expedition led by Hernan Cortes landed in 1519. The Aztecs did not rule with an iron fist, they merely wanted tribute paid to them and would allow the tribute payers to do what they wanted within their own lands. After inviting the Spanish into their capital of Tenochtitlan, the Aztec emperor Montezuma was taken prisoner by the Spanish. Later Cortes’s second in command would massacre a group of Aztec nobility after observing a ritual sacrifice. Although the Spanish were greatly outnumbered, a smallpox outbreak killed more than 50% of the region’s population and discontent among the tribute payers was used to capture Tenochtitlan and burn it to the ground.
Northwestern played most of their home games this season in the Bunny Hatch – a stadium with reduced capacity compared to their former home. They also invited Michigan into Wrigley field. Despite being in their home state, Chicagoans hostile to the Northwestern football program and fans of the visiting Michigan program packed the stadium to watch Michigan defeat the Wildcats.
11. Minnesota Gophers – The Fall of the Toltec Empire
H: 9 L: 11 LW: 9
The Toltec ruled the Yucatan Peninsula from roughly the 7th century to 11th century. The priest king Quetzalcoatl ruled the Toltecs from 923 to 947. Following the death of Quetzalcoatl, pollical instability in Tollan led to the migration of Toltecs to other parts of Mesoamerica. Ethnic and religious conflicts between the Toltec adherents of Quetzalcoatl and their opponents greatly weakened the Toltec people. They would be attacked and defeated in 1115 and 1116. The city of Toltan was completely abandoned in the 12th century and while much of Mesoamerica nobility in the following centuries would claim Toltec ancestors, their empire was no more.
Minnesota is headed to a bowl so perhaps we shouldn’t criticize them too much, but they’ve completely abandoned their winning ways anytime they’ve faced a strong opponent. We’ve likely seen the last of the Gophers wins this season.
12. UCLA Bruins – The Fall of the Byzantine Empire
H: 12 L: 13 LW: 12
The continuation of the Roman Empire that survived the events that led to the fall of the Western Roman Empire, the Byzantines lasted all the way until 1453. In reality the Empire lost most of its power two centuries earlier following its sack by Western European Crusaders in the 4th Crusade but it limped along until the Ottomans came along. The Theodosian walls had protected the capital of Constantinople for 800 years, but the arrival of gunpowder and deployment of cannons and bombards created gaps in the walls that allowed the Ottomans to conquer the capital and bring an end to the Roman Empire.
Like Constantinople’s Theodosian Walls, UCLA’s outdated facilities at the Rose Bowl are no longer capable of propping up a tethering, once proud program.
13. Penn State Nittany Lions – The Fall of the Russian Empire
Last Place Votes: 1 H: 12 L: 18 LW: 13
The Russian Empire was an absolute monarchy with more people, land, and resources than their European rivals. However, when World War I kicked off, they found themselves completely overwhelmed. A disregard for military training and proper equipment left them on the losing side of many battles. Simmering discontent among the people led to a revolution and the short lived Russian provisional government was formed. The Tsar was forced to abdicate and later killed along with his family.
Penn State thought they were real national contenders. Unfortunately for them, several NFL talents covered up massive holes in their roster last season and they entered this campaign without the weapons to win a prolonged battle. Discontent within the Penn State fanbase boiled over and James Franklin was fired. Luckily for him, we aren’t in 1910s Russia and he’s going to enjoy his retirement at Virginia Tech.
14. Rutgers Scarlet Knights – The Fall of the Western Roman Empire
H: 13 L: 15 LW: 14
Following the split of the Roman Empire into Eastern and Western halves, the Western half entered a gradual decline due to political instability, economic struggles and the “barbarian” invasions from outside of the empire. Despite the lack of accomplishments by the Western Empire, they are still the originators of the term emperor – derived from imperator.
Rutgers may suck now, but they did “invent” college football and for that we are grateful.
15. Maryland Terrapins – The Fall of the Austro-Hungarian Empire
LPV: 1 H: 13 L: 18 LW: 16
Franz Ferdinand (the heir to the empire, not the band) was assassinated in 1914. World War I followed and with its end so too did the Austrian-Hungarian Empire of the Hapsburgs come to an end. In October 1918, the Hungarian Parliament voted to terminate the union with Austria and the dual monarchy. On November 11, Emperor Karl I issued a proclamation recognizing the Austrian people’s right to determine the form of the state.
Like the end of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Maryland’s season is going down without much of a fight. They couldn’t even defeat hapless Italy – uhhh… I mean Rutgers!
16. Wisconsin Badgers – The Fall of the Mali Empire
LPV: 1 H: 15 L: 18 LW: 15
The Mali Empire was a powerful West African empire that gathered vast riches due to their trade caravans across the Sahara. They are best known for their emperor Mansa Musa, whose 1324 pilgrimage to Mecca saw him distribute so much gold that he single-handedly affected the currency value in Egypt for years. Following Musa’s death, the empire entered a prolonged period of decline. Neighboring states cut away at their territory in the 16th century. Although Mali sought to reestablish their control of their formerly robust empire following the defeat of the Songhai Empire by a Moroccan expeditionary force, Mali lost the battle of Jenne in 1599 to the Moroccans who had gunpowder on their side why Mali infantry and cavalry had lances and bows.
Wisconsin is simply outmatched. Once Wisconsin scored again … and again. They scored so much that their points devalued touchdowns. Now though, they don’t have a passing game and their formerly stout offensive line is no longer able to bully their opponents.
17. Purdue Boilermakers – The Fall of the Empire of Brazil
LPV: 5 H: 15 L: 18 LW: 18
The empire of Brazil wasn’t much of an empire. Following Napoleon’s invasion of Portugal, the Portuguese King Joao VI fled and established a government in exile located in Rio de Janeiro. After the downfall of Napoleon, Joao VI returned to Portugal and his eldest son and heir Pedro ruled the Kingdom of Brazil as regent. Pedro later declared Brazil independent in 1822. Fast forward to 1889. Pedro’s son Pedro II had ruled for decades but had grown indifferent to his responsibilities and didn’t have a male heir. His daughter neither expected nor wanted to inherit the empire. Civilian republicans pressured military officers to overthrow the monarchy. They launched a coup d’etat and the empire didn’t bother to resist. And so the Empire fell with little resistance.
Purdue is much like Brazil. A de facto Big Ten football program, but one uninterested in the responsibilities of fielding a winning team.
18. Michigan State Spartans – The Fall of the Second Mexican Empire
LPV: 3 H: 17 L: 18 LW: 17
Keen eyed readers might recognize that we are comparing Michigan State to the Second Mexican Empire and not the first. A constitutional monarchy that was established with the help of French intervention while the United States was busy putting down an ill-advised revolt by foolish southerners, the Second Mexican Empire never really got off the ground. Austrian Archduke Maximilian was offered their throne. As soon as the US Civil War wound down, Napoleon III began withdrawing French troops that had been sustaining Maximilian’s regime. Maximilian would be captured by the Republican forces and executed via firing squad.
Like the Second Mexican Empire, Michigan State is just going through the paces. They have no realistic plan for competency.
