The straight up results from this week’s episode of Friday Night SmackDown:
- Joe Hendry def. The Miz in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight
- Charlotte Flair def. Lash Legend via pinfall
- Carmelo Hayes def. Ilja Dragunov via pinfall to win the United States championship
- Giulia & Kiana James def. Chelsea Green & Alba Fyre via pinfall
The big story
It was just one week ago that SmackDown General Manager Nick Aldis told WWE Champion Cody Rhodes that he cut a bad deal with Drew McIntyre — if the top contender to the title came back and apologized to referee Dan Engler and paid a hefty fine, he would receive a championship match with a stipulation of his choosing. To be clear, Rhodes couldn’t lay a finger on McIntyre in the meantime or he would be stripped of the title.
The champ responded to this by claiming he’s above the law.
Rhodes struggled to control his emotions while waiting for McIntyre to show up and make things official, complaining at various points in the evening before DM Hunk finally arrived for the main event, sporting that shit eating grin of his.
He did indeed deliver on paying the fine, and then he stood in the middle of the ring and apologized to the referee for hitting him in the face with a Claymore. He even seemed genuine about it!
Aldis was shocked! Appreciative, even!
“I also apologize that it was obviously your dream to be a wrestler doing what I do, former world champion, but you weren’t good enough so you had to be a referee.”
Ha.
I love this guy so very, very much.
McIntyre then got personal, saying he was sorry Engler’s wife had to watch that while fantasizing about having a husband like McIntyre. He even apologized to the man’s children for having such a coward, corporate stooge for a father. Before he could get poor Dan to go off the deep end and slug him, Rhodes showed up eager to blast the guy.
But he couldn’t.
He would lose his title, remember?
So McIntyre did the same thing he did to Engler, egging him on. He got personal too, real personal. He said he wished Cody’s children could see a real man put the boots to him and his wife, Brandy, could see what a real daddy looks like.
Still, Rhodes wouldn’t fire away.
McIntyre told him they would be doing a Three Stages of Hell match in Berlin, Germany and Cody wasted no time agreeing to it. Before signing off, McIntyre left him with one last verbal shot — “When I send you straight to hell, say hi to your dad for me.”
Aldis was pulling Cody away before he could even react.
He eventually elbowed the GM off his shoulders before turning around into a Claymore and they ended the show with the challenger standing tall. They’ll settle up in two weeks overseas.
This ruled.
Other happenings
- Joe Hendry had a Christmas themed concert where he outright said The Miz has tiny balls, when he’s in a team he takes all the falls, and he’d rather be in Hollywood but they won’t return his calls. Miz tried to return fire with a passionate promo about being the new locker room leader with John Cena gone. Instead, they booked a Miracle on 34th Street Fight — a tradition in WWE — and Miz found himself humiliated by not just Hendry but Santa (Otis), an elf (Akira Tozawa), and the Easter Bunny (R-Truth) too. It was a fun comedy match, entirely worth the time they devoted to it.
- Aleister Black and Damian Priest are still getting vignettes and story videos where they try to get over at each other’s expense. They’re finally going to end this thing next week in an Ambulance Match.
- Charlotte Flair beat Lash Legend in a fairly standard match that saw their teammates interfere but Alexa Bliss do one better than Nia Jax. They still had the babyfaces need to win via rollup. Legend got some needed main roster experience here.
- Trick Williams is making his way to the main roster, and he was here to talk business with Nick Aldis, claiming Adam Pearce was ready to throw him a fat check to be on Monday Night Raw. He even went so far as to get in Cody Rhodes’ face to try to establish himself as a new contender. The champ didn’t necessarily take him seriously but he didn’t entirely dismiss him either.
- I’ll be damned if Carmelo Hayes didn’t go and do it, defeating Ilja Dragunov to win the United States championship in what was predictably an awesome match. When Hayes went up for Nothing But Net, the entirety of the crowd was on their feet, eager to see him pull it out. Considering the way he’s been booked since joining the main roster there was reason to believe he would fall short. Melo didn’t miss this time. After, Dragunov showed proper respect, taking the title from the referee and wrapping it around the new champion’s waist himself, putting him over huge before leaving the ring. This was awesome all the way around.
- And then friggin’ Johnny Gargano laid Hayes out backstage. I couldn’t possibly be any less enthused by this, but your mileage may vary.
- Giulia & Kiana James scored a win over Chelsea Green & Alba Fyre in a program that’s about to start getting a lot more time when they move to three hours. The main point we are supposed to remember here is that Giulia rules and it’s only a matter of time for her.
- Kit Wilson is getting an opportunity on SmackDown next week and we should all be tuning in for it.
This show was worth it for the title change alone but the main story stuff was also fantastic.
Grade: B+
Your turn.
