Since appointing Régis Le Bris two years ago this week, most Sunderland fans would agree the studious Frenchman has brought the good times to Wearside perhaps like nobody else before him — and at the very least, he’s firmly in the conversation alongside Peter Reid, Bob Stokoe and Mick Buxton.
With football famously being a game of moments, it stands to reason that those moments could easily swing another way. Dan Ballard heading over, Kieffer Moore passing to his own teammate, Chris Coleman not being a married
man with six kids…
The list goes on. But what if the moment Sunderland appointed Le Bris had swung another way? Our very own sliding doors moment. We take a look below at the alternative timeline of the last twenty four months.
June 2024
Will Still is announced as Sunderland’s forty third permanent manager and tasked with re-energising the club following Mick Beale’s disastrous reign and Mike Dodds’ futile gig as interim manager.
Fans are initially positive about a manager with a growing reputation within the game and, crucially, not being called a variation of ‘Michael’.
In other news, despite overseeing the relegation of FC Lorient from France’s Ligue 1, Régis Le Bris is announced as Luis Enrique’s new assistant coach at Paris Saint-Germain.
October 2024
After an unconvincing start to the season, Sunderland find themselves sitting in 18th position heading towards winter.
BBC Radio Newcastle are inundated with calls frantically pointing out there’s a difference between playing Football Manager and being a football manager. Will Still retains the backing of the board; however, a public spat with Kristjaan Speakman over ownership of the club’s LinkedIn profile leaves Still on rocky ground.
Elsewhere, not content with just playing football, Luke O’Nien accepts the position of head groundsman.
January 2025
Following the sacking of Still (as well as his coaches/siblings Bill, Phil and Jill), Sunderland become the first football club to hire an AI Head Coach as their 44th permanent manager.
The media buzz around the move is somewhat overshadowed by the club’s failure to pay for the latest version of Chat GPT, resulting in the new manager finishing his first interview with “HOWAY THE LADS!!!!!”
In France, Enrique steps away from the PSG job and they appoint his highly-rated assistant Le Bris as head coach.
June 2025
Despite a late rally under AI coach Claude Van Algorithm, the club forgets to renew their subscription and are once again in the market for a new manager.
Meanwhile, O’Nien agrees to take interim charge as player/coach alongside his newly-acquired position as leader of Sunderland Council.
September 2025
An undefeated start to the season sees Sunderland sitting top of the league by twelve points — although Coventry fans remain convinced they’re actually the better side.
O’Nien is poached to become the new Arsenal boss, which he reluctantly accepts as it’s more convenient for his role as Archbishop of Canterbury.
In France, Le Bris continues to impress with PSG and they’re overwhelming favourites to win a domestic and European quadruple.
February 2026
The wheels have fully come off on Wearside as the team nosedives down the table under the joint stewardship of Samson and Delilah.
Already having nothing left to play for in February, the EFL pick Sunderland for a new pilot scheme reducing matches to 85 minutes to cut down on fans leaving on 87 minutes.
The Stadium of Light empties on 82 minutes instead.
June 2026
Sunderland have returned to League one and fans respond by immediately blocking Accrington Stanley owner Andy Holt on social media. Mike Dodds announces he’s “got one more in him” and the groans can be heard across the whole of County Durham all the good parts of Tyne and Wear.
After delivering PSG’s most successful season in their history, Le Bris leads France to the World Cup following huge public backing for his appointment. The newly elected President of France, Luke O’Nien, awards Le Bris The National Order of the Legion of Honour for his achievements in sport.
Sunderland fans hear rumours of an alternative universe in which the club appointed Le Bris back in 2024 and enjoyed overwhelming success — including a victory at Wembley, a league double over the Mags and qualification for European football.
They dismiss these rumours as complete fantasy.
