Happy New Year’s Eve!
Many players on the Brewers, like the rest of us, will go into the New Year with realistic personal and/or professional goals that they wish to accomplish in the New Year. I’ve taken the liberty to guess what some of them might be:
Brandon Woodruff: Stay healthy & remain the Brewers’ all-time ERA leader.
Sal Frelick:
Start applying for hair modeling gigs in case of a 2027 lockout.Quinn Priester: Coin a cool nickname, so much potential there.
William Contreras: Rest up. Don’t lift
a finger (or, at least that finger).
Jeferson Quero: Be ready when the opportunity comes.
Anthony Seigler: Play at least one inning at every position, including pitcher.
Brandon Lockridge: 20 steals.
Garrett Mitchell: Play at least half of the season.
Blake Perkins: Sneak into the Gold Glove conversation.
Brice Turang: MVP.
Abner Uribe: Slightly longer and more elaborate post-save celebrations.
Freddy Peralta: Get paid. Cy Young candidacy.
Jacob Misiorowski: Maybe grow a beard. Cy Young candidacy.
Logan Henderson: Rollie Fingers mustache.
Jake Bauers: 0.00 ERA.
Angel Zerpa: Become Josh Hader.
Aaron Ashby: Remain Aaron Ashby.
Tobias Myers: Become MLB’s all-time WAR leader among Tobiases. Myers needs just 0.5 WAR to pass Tobias “Sandy” Griffin.
Carlos Rodriguez: Become MLB’s all-time WAR leader among Carlos Rodriguezes. Rodriguez needs just 0.8 WAR to pass Carlos Rodriguez.
Trevor Megill: Pitch well enough that Brewers fans wonder “Wait, why isn’t he closing anymore?”
Sammy Peralta: Pitch well enough that my mom won’t say “Wait, I thought his name was Freddy?” when his name gets brought up.
Rob Zastryzny: Pitch well enough that Tim Kurkijan Kurkjian learns how to spell his name without using Google.
Craig Yoho: Pitch well enough that Brewers fans can justifiably break out a “Yo, ho, ho” pirate chant.
Andruw Monasterio: Continue slowly metamorphosing into an .800 OPS hitter (I believe).
Chad Patrick: Continue slowly metamorphosing into Corbin Burnes.
Caleb Durbin: Continue slowly metamorphosing into Jose Altuve.
Christian Yelich: Watch Tenet a bunch of times, figure out how to reverse-entropy back problems, hit .290 with 40 home runs.
Andrew Vaughn: Get one of those mind-eraser things from Men in Black, erase all memory of the Chicago White Sox, hit .290 with 40 home runs.
Joey Ortiz: Swing at more pitches.
Jackson Chourio: Swing at less pitches.
Pat Murphy: Hire team of scientists to determine once and for all the best food to keep in your pocket for three hours (pocket empanadas?).
Matt Arnold: Acquire difference-makers while still spending less than David Stearns just spent on Devin Williams.
Mark Attanasio: Save money. Stop stealing sand.
